The longest I've gone without PMO since I joined nofap, about a week and a half ago, is two days. Ever since then, all I could do is masturbate and it's been bothering. I understand that the beginning is the hardest part of the process, but I can't help but to have overwhelming feelings of self-doubt. Now that I had two days under my belt, and felt absolutely powerful, I feel I might not be able to stop at all, now that I'm starting again. I'm really beating myself and I would like to get some insight on the beginning process.
Hey Poet, thanks for checking in. Glad you're here! Your showing up here is a big first step in the process of changing. And that's really what we're on about here, the way I see it, is change. It becomes a matter of changing the way we live from day to day. Quitting PMO and MO is about change. Like, say, if we were quitting smoking, then we have to think about doing things without smoking, things where we would normally be smoking. We have to replace certain activities and rituals with new and different activities. Otherwise we go crazy and all we think about is smoking and how we have to smoke. What I'm getting at is, you have to prepare for a certain amount of discomfort. The withdrawals are going to happen, regardless. But you can turn it around and get an understanding, while you're feeling it, that withdrawals are actually a good thing because they let you know things are changing in you. The first few weeks are just hell, if you are as caught up as I was. Both physical and mental. But you have to go through it, like a marine boot camp or something, you gotta do it. Then it gets better. And man, it's worth it. Just believe. It is definitely worth it. It's a new life. All the best to you, Poet. Keep on, my friend!
It's really not that hard. You've done 2 days? DO THREE. That's your goal. It's as simple as that. Then, after three days, you'll have broken the spell. The "I can only do 2 days" spell. It's really just a self-limiting belief. Then, add a day. Keep adding the days. If you fail, (and don't automatically assume you will), note exactly how you felt, and what prompted you to masturbate. Write it down. This is a trigger. Work out how you're going to deal with that trigger next time. Congratulations. You now have a strategy. Start again. Your next goal is to beat your previous best. Set yourself a nice big, but achievable stretch goal… a month? 60 days? 90? Visualize how you'll be better when you achieve it. Good luck. You can do better than two days.
Look at you! Up to four days already! Great job. How are you feeling? What are you learning? What kinds of things are going through your head when you feel urges? What are you thinking about when you aren't urging? Tuning in to how you are feeling will give you insight into how and why you relapse. Somewhere else I read on here was to commit yourself to your "one thing." What's the one thing in your life that is worth quitting PMO for?
I haven't surpassed two days. I just was too lazy to reset the bar. IMO, it's really tedious to reset it.
