Hi there, I was here 2-3 Years ago but now I take it seriously. I already posted in the german section but the activity there is not so good. Better for me, so I can improve my english Briefly about me: I'm 30 years old and I know about since 23 that I have a serious problem with porn addiction. I began watching it at about 12. My longest abstinence from porn is 4 months (I have allowed myself masturbation and orgasms). I have had a total 4 of these 4 months phases in the past 5 years. I also had a bad relationship with alcohol until I dropped it completely in october 2022. In my teenager years I tried many substances what leed me to cigarette addiction and for a year I consumed a lot of weed. With other substances I didn´t have much problem. Because I have a bachelor in Psycholgy, degree as a Coach, interessted in spirituality, personal development etc. I am more or less transforming my life and readying a lot in the past years. What I have already tried: - Psychotherapy - Hypnotherapy - Giving up porn probably 1000 times - Self-exploration through ayahuasca, yopo, mushrooms - Positive thinking, psychology, spiritual practices, personal development. A few of them helped me in certain ways. Now I feel that it is the right time for me to do this challenge. Because I think that I need a dopamine reboot, I try to quit the major parts in my life, who are responsible for releasing dopamine. Of course I need to be realistic, I cannot eliminate all of them. Here are my rules for achieving the most effective dopamine reboot possible: - No Porn, includes pictures of women in bikinis or underwear as I get triggered by that too. No active searching. - Sex: Trying Karezza (bc I have a GF) as well as satisfying her. No orgasm on my side. - No masturbation - No social media (by that I mean Facebook, Instagram and YouTube). With the exception of LinkedIn, as I need it for business and YouTube for learning content and music). - No gaming, with the exception of Tetris on my cell phone - Not watching news (Since corona I already check the news only 1 time in month or so.) 9 good reasons why I will make it: 1. I know my brain's MINDFUCKS: I know when my brain is messing with me. I recognize the biggest lie "Just have a quick look, then the need is gone". 2 I know my biggest trigger: boredom. That's why I'm looking for a new hobby that relaxes me. I will incorporate sport, yoga and meditation anyway. 3 I know my second biggest trigger: overload. I resolve to take a step back from my current task and collect myself. Meditation, Sport or so. 4 I'm not alone: my girlfriend actively supports me. If I'm horny, triggered, bored or overwhelmed, I'll go to her and tell her about it. It helps. It always helped, but my brain fucked with me later on. So I will sit on her side until it is over. 5. because I'm optimistic: I've been pessimistic for long enough. Pessimistic worldview is as realistic as an optimistic worldview. In truth, both are lies which I am telling myself. But an optimistic worldview is the better choice bc I have more options and am happier. 6 Because I'm finally getting my shit together. I've been abstinent from alcohol since October 2022. I've managed that too! Also I quit cigarrettes after 10 years a few years back. 7. every day I include a self-reflection. How did the day go? Beliefs are also worked on there. 8. attention is the currency of our decade. I decide who I pay attention to. So much advertising, so many impressions, so many stimuli. I choose. 9 I don't need to be afraid of fear: It is an emotion that wants to draw my attention to something: I'd better be careful." So, let´s start! (started already 2 days ago) In the unlikely event that I have a relapse, the challenge will start again from 0. Relapse only affects PMO, so gaming, news and social media are not affected.
Today I decided to go jogging. Nice walk! Didn´t pressure myself bc I jogged the last time 6 weeks ago. So starting slowly. I posted in the german threat, that I don´t care, if anyone is reading it bc I am doing this for me. But now, a few hours later, I need to change my statement. It gives me more accountability if someone is reading it. Yesterday I started doing Meditation again. I found a free online meditation side. The people are meditating 3 times a day. It fittes for me, when I meditate during lunch break and in the evening. Further I think about taking of a new hobby which is relaxing me. I already want to buy a dartboard. I could restard doodeling, reading or going for a walk in the evening. Let´s see 2 days in: No problem. hornyness 2/10, thinking now and then on P or M. But have 100% the controll.
Good luck Bro! Pretty like your approach. Will start my 90 days challenge NOW. Let’s stay strong together!
You seems to have many different strategies to be able to accomplish your goal, seems like a good start on becoming clean. I wonder, why won't you allow yourself to play video games (except Tetris)? Is it's because you are afraid that you might encounter some sexual content that could make you relapse? Wouldn't it be better to avoid games with sexual content instead? I mean not all video games has such content in it. GTA, Cyberpunk 2077 and Saints Row is 3 games that has such content for example, but if you like shooters like Call of Duty or Battlefield for example it includes little to none of such content. But it's of course up to you, I was just curious.
Because of the dopamine Release. I Play satisfactory, there is no sexual content in this game. But because I play more than 1-2 hours in a session, dopamine will be released over such a Long time (of course Not as much as it will be during edging). Further I want to spend less screen time
I see, well I don't think I could have manage to quit my porn problem without the video games. I'm able to spend 3-4 hours in one session without taking a break or do something else, just to keep me distracted. One thing I noticed during my first NoFap try was if I got bored my urges for watching porn and masturbate would become harder to resist and that is why I had to keep myself distracted and busy. If my urges began to grow I had to immediately play a game, watch a movie/serie or visit someone and by that I made progress which led to my success of removing porn from my life. Keeping yourself entertained and distracted with something else I would say is very important while trying to become clean.
I understand! Be Bored is also a big trigger for me. Just important, that Gaming will not become a new addiction Definitely, I am searching now for new Hobbies.
Yeah and that's why gaming helped me when I was/got bored. Even though it's not always fun to play because you can have a bad day when you absolutely suck at it, which makes the motivation for it very low Do you think you would get addicted to it if playing games were your main urges/trigger breaker?
Would it maybe help you, if you could switch your game when you are not in mood or if you dont have much concentration? What are you gaming anyways? For me I have phases when I dont work, then I play 8-9 hours a day. But that was just 2 times in my life. Just building factories in satisfactory and factorio. I dont play games like COD or Battlefield anymore. I think that would be addictive for me. But every brain is wired another way. So it would not be wise to generalise my experience for other people. I played also Cyberpunk and GTA and found myself searching for explicid contend in those games. It was a trigger of course but I would say it is too boring to get hooked. But I found myself a lot of times searching on steam for adult games and checking their trailers etc. If I may give you a little advise (I have a Bachelor in Psychology and educated in Coaching): I would say it is good that you are able to consciously switch to games if you feel triggered. But it should be a short term solution. In the long run you will not succeed if you dont front your emotions. Why are you addicted? It is not because of porn. There is always a story behind. Porn is just a valve for your emotions (if that saying make sense in english). What are your believes (not religion related)? What stories are you telling yourself from you over and over again? Personal development and understanding the human mind helped me so much deconstructing my behaviour.
I play a lots of different games, but most of the times singleplayer games since I not a competitive player. If I play multiplayer it's either Battlefield or Call of Duty but while playing Singleplayer it's everything from adventure games to first person shooters, like Far Cry, Assassin's Creed, Metro, Fallout and The Elder Scrolls for example. I wouldn't say that I have an "addiction" anymore because I don't feel I'm that desperate to masturbate by choice anymore, and watching porn isn't an issue for me anymore because I ended that shit on my first try here on NoFap, which was a success. No, my problem is at the moment that I masturbate and orgasm to often and it's maybe 2-4 times a week and that's to much for me personnally and it's because I'm having a hard time to remain focus on either playing a game or watching a movie/serie if a hot/sexual scene comes in picture and it makes me really frustrated. The only way to make me go back to focus is to rub one out which is not optimal imo. I want to be able to watch such a scene without it makes me wanna masturbate, and it's more or less impossible since most movies especially has a love scene in it somewhere and that is why gaming has become the best trigger breaker for me. Of course it could be such scenes in games as well but I try to avoid such games at all cost.
Today I got triggered by a Rap Video. I concentrated for a moment on the boobs of a woman. Seconds after that I realized it and I got anxious. My thoughs were "not again" - "I want to see more of that" - "what a b*tch, woman with made tits are so superficial and are dumb." With those thoughts I felt a pressure inside my left skull as I feel always when I got triggered. I tried to relax myself which was necessary. I decided to watch 5 min more (was just one scene with the woman). Almost at the end my GF entered the room and I told her. Despite trigger I felt that this time I will stick to my goal. Later I started weightlifting and took a cold shower. I just had a 45min session in meditation. Was good, I searched in my mind for a technique. I already tried so many things from buddhist Meditation to different Yoga styles. Sometimes too much is not good. After about 20min in, I started telling myself over and over again "I fully accept the present moment" and " I fully accept myself". Everything needs to be like it is right now. There is no other option.
You have a nice taste Skyrim is one of my all-time favorite! Are you sure that porn isn´t an issue anymore? (bc you wrote "hot/sexual scene comes in picture and it makes me really frustrated"). For me it is also frustrating. Why are you sure, that porn or just a woman in clothes, isnt an issue for you anymore? Our mind is really good in telling us stories which we want to believe. Sometimes it will lie on purpose to protect some image of ourselfs. Our mind is really tricky, 99% of people dont get that. And if someone is telling this to another one (like me to you), there is almost always a defense mechanism which is starting in you to defeat yourself. I try my best with my english skills, hope you understand what I mean another thought: "my problem is at the moment that I masturbate and orgasm to often and it's maybe 2-4 times a week": Do your research on how much mastrubating is normal. You will find that it variate between once a day to 2-3 a month. There is no rule. Every man / woman has his/her individual sexual drive.
Wow, Skyrim is also one of my all time favorite games too! Such a good game with good story (even though it were kinda short), with many side quests and a big world to explore. Well I catch your drift, but seeing a love scene in a regular movie/game isn't porn to me, it's more like a couple that has strong feelings for each other, even though those scenes makes me think back at porn I have watched in the past. This may be a side effect after my porn addiction but since I doesn't visit any porn sites and hasn't been during many months now, I wouldn't say that I'm still addicted to it. I do anything to keep me as far away from that shit as possible and a person with an addiction will most likely do the opposite and wants to look at such content because they can't get enough. Do my research, what is that suppose to mean? Of course it's individual how man times a day, week or month a male/female masturbates. But I was talking about myself and what I feelt was too much. I don't want to masturbate 2-4 times only because a specific scene shows up, I want to be able to watch such a scene and not thinking about my old bad habits and instead see it as 2 people that has strong feelings for each other, nothing more.
Yes, Skyrim was awesome! Now I understand your points, sorry for misunderstanding. Congratulations, that you managed to quit P! I understand that you want to decrease this number. So good luck then!
No need to apologize, misunderstandings might happen and the best way to deal with them is to keep explaining. I wish you the best of luck as well on your journey
Today was my first day of work again after my holidays. Because I need to write a lot of stuff, I got frustrated. I couldnt sort my thoughts in a logical order. But I told myself my new Mantra: Life quality before productivity. Everything I am doing, I am doing for myself. I am my own boss. I meditated 2 times and my horniness was at 4/10. 10 min ago I saw a picture of a nude woman (just from the side). But I didn't got anxious or afraid. Good for me! Further, I managed to do some work for myself and asking myself which beliefs are tricking my awareness. The day in total was OK. Didn't manage to do everything I wanted to do, but tomorrow is a new day. My new schedule is just something which I can orient myself. I don't HAVE to do anything.
Today was a really good day! 10/10! 10:20 h: Light Jogging, so that I am not tired in the afternoon. Was perfect! 11:00 : Lunch, Power Nap & 30min Meditation. 13:00: Was extremly motivated! Wrote down some tasks, and thought: It is ok, if I am not able to do all of them today. But: I managed to do it, even in a good Flow-State! I subscribed to a sales community for my business. I want to train my sales skills as well as speaking in front of camera for my marketing (Social Media Plattform). Further I changed my schedule: In the morning (Mo-Fr) I want to work and in the afternoon I am going to train some sales and speaking skills. It is flexible, so no rigid aims anymore! Horniness: I didnt thought much about sex. Just when I had my power nap, I dreamed shortly a sex scene. Over all: 2/10 On NoFap I read about, that a guy splashed cold water on his balls for over 1 minute to increase his sperm production by about 5x. I wanted to try it, was an amazing experience! (Was just an act out of curiousity, rationally it doesnt make sense in my situation right now).
