Well put. I think for myself, PM serves as a validator of my own self-contempt. If I want to truly regard PM as being a completely useless activity, I must work at stopping the self-contempt. Oddly enough I looked at my relapse as an opportunity to practice this; I figured if I can care for myself at my worst then eventually this will become a way of caring about myself always. I believe if I continue with this mindset, I will care about myself enough to avoid that which harms me. It’s going to take time. The process of caring about myself is foreign to me. New territoy takes time to explore.
That’s how I did it too, being there for myself during my lowest point. Take your time exploring new territories. That’s success in my books : )
Glad that you're posting today during your time of struggle It sounds like you are pushing through it and choosing not to make that deal with your urges to give in for temporary respite but continued long term pain. You got this brother. This is a good point, the journey of self-discovery can be arduous and it is so painful to endure this constant disconnect and/or conflict with oneself but I think with time we begin to navigate more and more and eventually find our way back to ourselves...
Day 21/30 We made it to the end of another week. Tomorrow is the start of a new week. Let’s make it a good one.
I made it to 22 days, which is not my greatest streak, but good for now, unfortunately, I will have to leave this challenge, I will search for another challenge, I would like to clear it till the end of April at least I do not have any plans for may yet. This time I am keeping a very good track of what is happening and I can confirm the following benefits and disadvantage to abstinence. benefits: 1. increased energy ( I usually sleep 12+ hours per day) I have been sleeping 6 hours per day as of late) also I have been exercising 2. increased focus disadvantages. 1. depression ( no loniness for me just pure and raw bad mood). overall I think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, and so I will continue with my trials please wish the best for me guys.
You did great @determinedtosucceed wishing you all the best as you continue to do great. The depression should ease up in time. Haha that’s a good one! And BOOM.. 22, let’s rock this! That’s the spirit @uman37 .. “normies” hate Mondays, but we’re different lol we’re cut from a different cloth.. we love & kill Mondays!
I slipped one more time and hopefully the last for a long long time, I really need to refine my goals down to something very simple that I can switch too working when a porn urge arises... does anyone have any other suggestions for riding out strong emotions, loneliness, and physical and for working through the feelings when the intensity just keeps increasing and increasing? Is distraction the best answer in the beginning until one picks up some momentum?
Hey @Sam78, For me prayer has always been the helpful thing and I have always noticed a correlation between my prayer life and my sobriety. When I stop focusing on the prayer I revert back, not always right away, but eventually my defenses get broken down. I know prayer isn’t everyone’s cup of tea here, but I would be remiss if I don’t mention what’s helped me the most in this journey.
“Distracting” activities are good to do but you must learn how to overcome the psychological urge when there are no distractions. The ability/way to stay in the moment & not be carried away by the urge.. is what you must find, your special way (slow deep breathes help me stay grounded) be prepared to suffer pain. In that moment of turmoil, rationalise with yourself, remind yourself of the reasons you want to quit & who you want to become etc. I agree with Ghost; increasing my faith has helped a lot, say a prayer when you’re next tempted, if you don’t believe in God say a mantra.. something like ‘I’m trying to be the person I’m meant to be; I’m perfect & whole as I am’ or whatever. Meditation or a nap could help? You can do it.
Day 21 and 22/30 I follow the same method @Sam78; accept the urges or negative thoughts/feelings as a painful and let them be. Don't act upon them but feel the pain, while staying grounded in the present. You can do this!
Uncomfortable Feelings: Hey! Yeah, you! Fuck you! Do something! Dance when we tell you to dance! My Rational Mind:
@Ghost️ @Plan ㋛ @Odelshorn Thanks for the advice and the encouragement. It offered me some more hope, which is something that I'm struggling to hold onto right now. I'll try praying as well as sitting with the pain and grounding myself and if it gets more overwhelming I'll just pray for more strength and try again and repeat.
Good to see you @Lou Bloom Congrats on reaching a week @Ghost.. that was quick. Let’s see how you’ll get along @Sam78 Day 23/30 We’re whizzing thru April @ warp drive.
