Hello there I wanted to know if I'm still doin right and so to ask users who already took a long run (atleast 6 months). I'm now in my third run, the first 2 I didn't failed but thought after time x it would be enough. It wasn't, now my goal is "without" time restriction and I'm actually in for 4.5 months. The last one was 6.75 months and I'm doing this time well better than before. I go pmo, try to avoid fantasies as good as I can and also restrict Smartphone time. I have more and more times feeling way better and relaxter, when my sexual drive is so low and it feels so good, but then there are phases that are hell and I'm wondering why I'm still so addictive to it after that long time. I watched on coincidence a 30 sec YT video that was like that type of porn I was in and I got horny af. I now have worries, why is this so, am I bound to this forever? Knowing, it's not a straight linear process, but it got me so high in seconds like the last time I watched a porn was yesterday. So, if you already made a really long run, did you expirience this too? Is this normal and will it fade away after a much longer time (6 months, 9 months, a year..)? Thank you very much for your help
Hi. You just have to come to know deep down in your bones that PMO is death. It takes time, and dedication. Even on a good long streak, you will get intrusive thoughts from certain triggers from time to time, but there's also this mental defense wall that gets built up that prevents intrusive thoughts from settling down and becoming intentions. The reward pathways built up in your mind are for life though.
Hey Vlysandor, great questions! In my experience, the urge fades over time. I have quit porn, tobacco, alcohol, drugs, and video games. It's been over a year for all of those, if not many years, and I don't have any cravings. I can be at a party where there is tobacco and alcohol, for example, and have no cravings or desires to participate. Porn can be more challenging in a way because seductive sexual imagery is used in non-sexual contexts such as social media, movies, magazines, billboards, advertisements, etc. It is all too common for advertisers to use sexualized imagery to invoke the viewer to take an action which serves the advertiser, not the viewer. Know what serves you and that there are external agendas trying to trigger you into spending your life-force in the way that they want, NOT the way that you want! It sounds like you're doing a great job. Keep going. Eventually you will not have time for the bullsh*t and you won't want to visit youtube videos, websites, etc that feature content that is designed to hook you. You will feel the agenda behind them, even if it's just for you to watch (your time and attention is what they want), and feel repulsed by it because it is not aligned with your agenda for your life.
I have stayed clear of porn use for a long time now @Vlysandor, today is Day 2756. My thoughts: The times you give as a "long run" are not long enough. I've heard anecdotal claims that we need 2 months recovery for each year of PMO use, but … I believe that I will always be a porn addict and so, although it gets easier as time passes, I will always need to be vigilant and have techniques I use to stay free of porn. I had periods where I nearly relapsed, like the ones you describe, on Day 458, Day 533, and even Day 1914. We have to always be prepared to face an overwhelming temptation to watch porn. It does get easier as time goes by. I can go months now without any desire at all for porn.
Thanks for your answers! I don't use social media but yes, you get triggered all the time. If only seeing good looking woman can be point out to you, like for me, watching anything in the TV or going out of your house can pull you of. I already heard the rule of 2 months recovery for every year you used pmo, thought, the last time, it was 1 month, not 2. But I think it just depends on how long and intensive you used pmo, and therefore is an incredible range. I have nearly every morning an erection, I heard, this is a good sign, but so I have to deal with the horny every morning.. My main question would be, what's after? Do you guys started again to masturbate without porn, or stopped forever and only lived your sexuality with a woman (if you are able to find someone)? How did this work with another person instead just with yourself? Or how did it worked out if you started to masturbate again, could you still stay away from porn, did you have good orgasms?
These are just "ideas" that comes here from nowhere, without any science applied. This is something new to science, but urologist or scientists who took PMO into account says that 8 months should be enough to regain a lot (if not all) our original sexual drive or to cure PIED (assuming there are no other physical or hormonal issues). It's not possibile that a 40yo man with 30 years of addiction will need a full 5 years of total abstinence.
I was referring to only the "physical" part (cure PIED, libido or sex drive). "Not possible" it means that's just an absurd amount of time, a body shouldn't take that amount of time and, according to some doctors/urologist, should heal way faster than that. Obviously, if you take the "noPMO" as a lifestyle, you can abstain for the whole life if you have the willpower to do that.
That hard part of behavioural addictions is the fact they're built on very natural behaviours. And unfortunately for us feeling horny is a natural reaction to certain stimuli. I'm not talking from experience as I've never had a long streak, but I can imagine however long you've been these urges will pop up from time to time. The real goal of this recovery, in my mind, is to strengthen your willpower and develop coping mechanisms so you can better deal with the urges when they inevitably strike.
The internet is also a trap. We think only P and masturbation are our enemies. Internet use can also spiral up and waste time. Minutes, hours, and then each day few hours and then that can add up to hundreds of hours wasted. Remember most sites are designed to hook people. To keep using for more. So really evaluate what your interenet habits will look like. That best fits you and your values.
I have been on 2 4-month runs, 1 6-month run, and countless 1-1.5 month runs. They all function similarly, although I basically find the most success when (a) I use the least amount of social media and (b) I have a very busy but consistent schedule. Currently am in a 2 month long slump of only 7 day streaks, and I've had social media throughout. I've finally noticed there's really only one path for me.
This week marks 57 months since I started recovery, here is what I know: While I am currently on a long recovery path, after around 6 months of abstinence my libido returned with my sexual functions. In this time I quit all PMO and was intermittently rewiring with a girl. For the majority of people, I think if they reboot correctly they should gain their sexual functions, libido etc after 6-9 months. Even quicker if the problem is not that serious. However some people will progress past this marker and into PAWS for a multitude of other reasons. In my eyes, somebody that moves into PAWS has more internal work/recovery to do before they can regain their sexual function. But something that stood out to me about your post is the following line: I think this is a slippery slope and has the potential to cause issues if you don't get a grip on it. So my question would be how was watching a 30 sec YT porn video a coincidence?
I am currently on day 224 without any PMO, by the grace of God. I am power less without God's help. I am 40 years old and started my recovery process at 24 years old. I had numerous prior attempts at recovery that failed. I do not have daily temptations anymore to look at pornography. But I know that the temptation can come at any moment. I am still tempted to look at women outside in the street or at a work. I have to be very careful to keep custody of my eyes. I also keep very strict boundaries around the social media use. 90% of relapses with P start on social media. I have not met a single person who is serious about their recovery from PMO that still uses social media casually and habitually. We must guard our senses against temptation if we hope to be free from PMO. I had terrible consequences from this addiction, ruined relationships, abandoned careers, a severe case of PIED, chronic prostate and urinary tract issues and so on.
Thank you so far again for your answers! Well, first I hope social media will change or disappear in general as it sooo bad for all of us, atleast till we maybe will learn how to deal with it. So yes, I know how bad it is for pmo and I don't use it. I go way further and will abandon Smartphone (!), pc and tv to the point I really need to use and no more this summer, going outside and getting rid of all these unnatural dopamine drops. As I read already in this forum, I think it necessary as our brains are flooted with dopamine. What I don't get and maybe here I'm a bit out of the line is what do you mean with libido and sexual functions returning? For me, that works, and that's the problem. My libido is so high and so I suffer, everytime thinking of porn, sex, woman, that's not normal. I want to focus on all the other nice things in life and not taking this one part of life/brain control over every other thing in me. There's so many nice things you can do and my brain is thinking 24/7 (exaggerated) of getting an orgasm. So my goal is pmo, now next step (in addition) to get rid of the other unnormal dopamine drops to heal the pathways the brain build over the time and build new ones. I don't get what you mean, it wasn't porn video per se, it was a sequence of film where I crossed. You need to know, I was into violence porn, not normal, so when I see a woman getting tied up in a movie that's already a trigger for me. For reference, it was this video So maybe, as mentioned before, I'm a bit out of the line, as the emotional part is a big thing for me, to get over all the hate for woman I had all the years. I already did many for it, what I still need is a long (not ending?) way of pmo. (sorry if someting reads weird, english is not my main language) Thanks for your support and this nice community!
Oh ok, I understand what you are saying. Sometimes we get caught off guard without realising and I think that is ok. As long as you keep working to avoid PMO where you can, I think you will be fine. Also your English is just fine
