What Motivates You Gents From Relapsing?

The motivation I have is realizing the amount of time that I lose to porn. There are many things that are better to do besides living the horrible life of a lonely porn addict. It's pathetic to think that the best I can be doing is experiencing life through a digital screen.
The challenge is to find what brings joy and then go out and start living a real fulfilled life.

 

Because it makes me stink like shit and no one likes to breath in that smell.

 

Yeah I get that. I can be so determined, so sure that I'm never going to do it again, and then a switch goes off and I have zero willpower. But the progress I'm trying to make is quickly switching that determination back on as early as possible.

It's the progress between the relapses that's important. Strengthening my resolve in spite of the relapses and not letting them break me down.

Remember you're not relapsing because you're weak, you're relapsing because you're fighting against some of the strongest instincts and rewards pathways you have. With time your willpower will get stronger and those rewards pathways less habitual.

You've got this buddy. Keep fighting. Welcome back.

 

I believe i have embraced the opinion that life is hard. Both day to day life and finding your life's meaning and purpose and go about actualising it. Maybe having a constant mild depression leads me to this but nonetheless, after having learned about various philosophies about life, i believe that having a drive to attempt hard things and the willpower-discipline to resist easy pleasures is what makes someone a hardened but also fulfilled person. It can be summarised in a saying like "easy choices hard life; hard choices easy life" but of course it can be (i believe) neurologically and spiritually proven as well.

So seeing that having urges to PMO is a thing that can make me more ressilient in the long run, i sometimes even enjoy having them, depending on my mood of course. It's not a strategy to only recall this mindset when triggered. You do need to also change your enviroment, rules about phone usage and get rid of as much as possible of the cues that lead you to relapse. Having a busy life and many other things to think about also helps up to the point that they don't cause general anxiety. Emotional regulation is also an important aspect because we also fight this battle on the level of our subcinscious, eg. my last few relapses were either wet dreams or because of them (Dr Trish Lee has great videos on the subject).

 

You do!

(yknow, the community here. Welcome back!)

 

The PMO addiction ruined the best years of my life, it ruined all of my relationships with the opposite sex, it ruined my male health, it ruined my self-esteem. I first sought recovery for my compulsive PMO use when I was 24 years old. I am 40 years old now and I have 219 days of continuous abstinence from PMO by the grace of God.

 

Well said, especially in the first paragraph about life being hard. Pushing your limits and taking the harder path will make you grow into a much better person than taking the easy way. Think about why we go to the gym. It's hard and not much fun, but the results of gaining a powerful strong body and mind, beats being soft.

 

Just think about the crushing embarrassment of failing in bed again and again and again and again and again. Another great woman slips through your fingers and you're left a bit older and more hurt. And know that it's never going to change unless you let your brain heal. Porn = a painful, pathetic life for those of us who can't get away with watching it. It will only take you further away from the life you want.

 

Yep. Im personally done with sex for a long, long time. Got PIED and now my limp dead snake meat wont do nothing. Im cool with it for now, I dont need it. Im ready to enjoy other things in life.