Non-Negotiables [2024]

14/4, Sun

1- Did I meet my studying target?
Uni Study: 3.5/4 modules done. Felt like I worked all day and I couldn’t make time for the last module
Course T:
Course A/C: Covered up Course A’s yesterday’s lesson as well as today’s

2- Did I meet my reading target?
Read 3 chapters: 9/39 Alhamdulillah quite literally forced myself to do it and feel relieved now

3- Project Task
Only had 2 tasks.

Alhamdulillah

Feel so tired though

 

Mixed morning. Not going as planned. I went to bed at a good time but still, for some reason, didn’t wake up on time. Slept through alarms. It’s odd. Wonder if it’s cos I felt too tired or need to go to bed even earlier.

But sleeping on time is another high priority non-negotiable. Wondering if I should track it here.

Then, I had some house stuff to do, and in between, had an online class which took 1 whole hour instead of 35 min

Most of my studying time is gone now so I am worried how I will meet today’s targets.

 

This is quite problematic.

So far, it's been three days since I started studying yeah? The idea was/is to get done with uni study by 12 PM. It looks doable but not once have I achieved that. Instead, it has taken up most of my day time till around Asr time. Yesterday, I was finally done with uni study till around 5 PM? Then I had to complete my tilawah and other study goals. All of that barely left me any spare time and it felt like all my time was spent on studying. I do not like that.

It's not just about liking though. I have 1-2 other commitments that are to be done between the 4 PM and 6 PM window. Although, thankfully, these commitments won't start until next week. Then 6 PM till Maghrib has to be a nature break. Rooftop or park. Walk or just sitting nature. I have to be under the open sky during this time. So, the fact that I can't even get uni study done by 2 PM at the most is worrisome to me. It's not sustainable at all.

I am struggling with focus and understanding in some subjects so that's slowed down my pace too and I also have some assigned readings to do for some modules which is time taking and I didn't exactly factor that in when planning things.

I won't be able to do uni study on Friday as I have to prepare for my course T quiz that day so technically, I should be dividing Friday's work in these days. That means covering 5 modules instead of 4. I also realised that Saturday will be too busy for uni study due to course T class. I can't possibly cover 4 modules that day.

Stuck and worried.

Am I already in trouble?

 

15/4, Mon

Sleep time: 10:45 AM
Wake-up time: 7:00 AM
Nap: Dozed off for like 20 minutes at 4 PM

1- Did I meet my studying target?
Uni Study: 4/4 modules done. Plus, I covered up yesterday's last module too.
Course T:
Course A/C: If only I hadn't run out of time but I am actually out of time.

2- Did I meet my reading target?
Read 3 chapters: 9/39 Going to do just before sleeping.

3- Project Task
Ideally, should have done one task. It wasn't urgent so I didn't.

Alhamdulillah, busy day.

 

I did not do this yesterday. I feel so sad about it now lol. But hear me out. Skipping reading was not a procrastination response. It was a prioritising-the-right-thing response. I was way past my bed time and so tired that I had to get to sleeping asap. I couldn't delay that anymore.

But still, will try to schedule reading in the early part of evening instead of before bed time.

Plus, really need to journal today. Feel unsettled emotions rising.

 

Quick Update cos I might forget this or not have the chance to journal later

Woke up at a good time
BUT somehow, the procrastination monster took over at some point… now this monster plays by different tactics. One of them, a very common one, is to make me believe that I have a lot of time and all is going well and everything is good so I can take things slow. No, it’s not the idea of not doing things and skipping tasks (I think my brain realises at this point that we are taking things seriously and there’s absolutely no chance of skipping tasks) but instead, it’s the this false… whats the word… false… perception? Belief? False relief? False feeling? You get the point. Its this false feeling that all is well.

ANYWAY, so that slowed me down, ended up wasting some time in between over my phone.

On top of it, I have to visit some relatives and leave for that in a while soooo… extra short on time today

 

I am going to try something different right now. It is NOT ideal. But if it works, it will honestly relieve me so much.

I have only done 2/4 modules of uni course. I started the third module but it was of my interest and I did not want to rush it. So instead...

With the remaining time I have, I want to do extra lessons of course A. So that tomorrow on Wednesday and Thursday, I don't have to worry about that. Plus, complete all course T homework except for the quiz prep to be done on Friday. And then, give extra time to the uni courses in the next two days.

Now... I said I don't have the capacity to do more than 3 and 4 is pushing it but I still manage. So how am I going to do 5/6 modules in one day? Idk, but I feel I have momentum building up and I will manage inshallah. On the other hand, this could just be another procrastination tactic.

If I don't succeed with this plan, I am never doing it again. Okay, bismillah

 

16/4, Tue

Sleep time: 11:20 PM
Wake-up time: 5:00 AM
Nap: None.

1- Did I meet my studying target?
Uni Study: 2/4 modules done. Change of plans. Lagging
Course T:
Course A/C: 5/1 Ahead of plan.
I did yesterday's lesson, today's and then the next three days' as well. alhamdulillah. Ahead in this and don't need to worry about it till Saturday.

2- Did I meet my reading target?
Read 3 chapters: 9/39 Lagging

3- Project Task
Procrastinated. I should have done today. Now I don't have an option but to do it tomorrow.

I am not sure if the strategy was a good idea or not. I am too exhausted to read. I have overworked myself today. Yes, I did spend at least 2 hours doing nothing in the morning... But... I did many other things today. Like spending at least 1.5 hours organising stuff in my room. Then, since yesterday, one of my online classes started and that takes 9-10 AM hour. Then, I started another commitment which took a good 45 min in afternoon. Then I also had to visit relatives.

Maybe, I should have just let go of what I couldn't do instead of pushing myself to extra course A lessons as compensation. Because that took my evening. Then, I had course T homework left. Then I also had my tilawah to complete which I just did now.

Alhamdulillah for all that I did.

I am wayyyy past my bed time though. And that worries me. Because I know I can stay up till late nights to complete my work but that's NOT what I want. That will turn into a messed up sleep schedule and I must learn to make the most of the morning time.

The problem is that I don't feel a sense of urgency in the morning hours which is why, I tend to take things slow. As the deadlines nears, I start realising that oh, I am actually running our of time and that's when the tension kicks in and I start getting stuff done quickly. This is simply a personality trait (which in some ways works in my favour, and in some ways, doesn't).

I must consciously remind myself in the morning to stay focused and to speed things up. I will have to put in extra effort in that regard. I must remember the consequences of delaying my work. The consequences that I no longer want to see in my life.

IDK how I will manage to wake up on time tomorrow. Worried that I will miss Fajr.

 

Miraculously, woke up on time. Alhamdulillah!

Have to absolutely sleep on time tonight, in fact, earlier since I don't feel a 100 percent well rested.

First thing I did after my routine stuff today was read the book. I felt bad for skipping it yesterday too and honestly, the chapters are so short, I could have easily done them. Or at least 1-2 chapters. But I guess, I went with the 'nothing or all' mindset.

Did like 5 chapters in half hour right now and that makes up (almost) for yesterday's and Monday's missed targets. I am not lagging in reading anymore.

Just need to focus on Uni study now. Bismillah!

 

I studied for 2 hours and got 1.5 modules done
I had my online class of 1 hour
I did some cleaning around the house 1 hour
I had a commitment 1 hour

Really behind in uni study.

Feel v sleepy. Experiencing a slump but mainly due to sleep and I think the cleaning part

EDIT: Had a solid 1.5 hr nap

 

Uni Course
3.5/4 + 4.5/4 + 2/4 + 4/4
= 14/16
Not too bad at all alhamdulillah. I am not that behind...
BUT, I will only be able to do 2 modules on Fri and 2 on Sat.
How will I make up for the 4 modules left? Hmm.

Yoooooo I just remembered, didn't I cover 3 modules on Friday?! I did! And when I made that whole deadline thing, I did the calculation using ALL modules. Didn't factor in the 3 already done.
So that means I just need to make up for 1 module

 

17/4, Wed

Sleep time: 1:00 AM
Wake-up time: 5:15 AM
Nap: 1 - 2:30 PM

1- Did I meet my studying target?
Uni Study: 3.5/4 modules done. Couldn't complete the last one, plus I mostly dragged myself through the last two modules so I need to review them tomorrow.
Course T: 1/1
Course A/C: 4/1

2- Did I meet my reading target?
Read 3 chapters: 18/39

3- Project Task
Procrastinated. And got sort of pointed out for it.

Today, once again, uni study got dragged through the day. Not sure what to do. Seems like nothing is working. Let's see...
I am supposed to start uni study at 7:00 AM. Then I have my class from 9:20 to 10:20 AM. And another commitment from 11 to 12.

Clearly, morning time is not sufficient for uni study. If I start at 6:00... gah, no. Too early and I would have to rush through breakfast etc.

Something has to change tomorrow.

Feel so tired and drained. Late for bed again. Going to wind down with some Quran.

 

Changed the strategy a bit today. Reviewed previous modules. Had my class. Food break. Another commitment. And then, didnt plan on it but ended up taking a nap around same time as yesterday alhamdulillah
Felt better than yesterday
Then finished my course T homework! My tilawah too. Left with reading and uni study. Currently going to take a break.

A cuppa as I enjoy the rain

 

18/4, Thurs

Sleep time: 1:15 AM
Wake-up time: 5:15 AM
Nap: 12:30 - 2:00 PM

1- Did I meet my studying target?
Uni Study: 0/4
Course T: 1/1 Only need to prepare for quiz. I actually needed help with some stuff as I had missed classes and finally have a class fellow helping me but she was only free tomorrow.
Course A/C: 3/1

2- Did I meet my reading target?
Read 3 chapters: 21/39 Yayyyyyy!

3- Project Task
Completed many tasks today. Project work has taken a total of 3 hours of my time today.

This morning, I managed to wake up early but felt so groggy, distracted and sleepy. Took me like 2 hours to get started. I know I haven't done uni modules (only reviewed yesterday's modules which was also time taking). But I really need to sleep early tonight.

I also really like how today, I was done with other less time taking tasks (like course T homework and reading etc.) before and around Maghrib. I feel that when I have these less time taking but more than one pending tasks left for the evening/night time, it stresses me out more.

Thinking if I should move this thread to one of the age groups. The self-improvement section is open to even outsiders (non-members).

 

Morning hasn't started my way today. I went to bed early last night. At least 1 hour early from the night before. But, somehow, slept through my alarms. When I did wake up, I realised I was late and my first thought was 'Oh I screwed up' PLUS it was raining a lot and my window was open so it was cold and made me stay in bed. So, I felt frustrated and annoyed and cold and went back to sleep for another 2 hours lol. <This mentality is not good though.

I think I should still say Alhamdulillah. At least I woke up. And given how late I had been going to bed in the nights before, I guess I needed rest.

But two observations...
1- I had ice cream last night after dinner
2- I ended up dreaming an odd dream - with explicit images/scenes. Don't remember anything about relapsing though

I feel very groggy though. Like I have slept a loooot. I have actually, 7-8 hours. Yep that's a lot for me. I think my ideal sleep time is 6 hours. Depends though.

Anyway, I feel slow. I am going to cancel my online class today. Really not in the mood nor have the time. Want to start and focus on uni study today inshallah.

EDIT: I am not sure what's wrong with me today (mainly my body). My head feels a bit heavy. Is it the food I had yesterday?

 

Oh, the rain.

 

19/4, Fri

Sleep time: 12:15 AM
Wake-up time: 8:00 AM
Nap: 4:30 - 6:00 PM

1- Did I meet my studying target?
Uni Study: 1/4
Course T: 0.5/1 alhamdulillah, I know I didnt meet the target but it wasnt in my hands. I will have to cover stuff up in the morning inshallah
Course A/C: 2/1

2- Did I meet my reading target?
Read 3 chapters: 24/39

3- Project Task
Hmm. Didn’t have much

About today. Was just one of those days. Slept in and had a difficult time in re-gaining my focus. That nap time is completely unacceptable but we had lunch quite late and then, it wouldn’t stop raining and got so cold. That sent me in a slump.

 

I will talk about how my morning went later (I didn’t do my best. Far from it), but right now I want to focus on making the rest of the day the best. For the sake of clarity and commitment…

Clean up!
Pray
Project tasks (ALL)
Quran
Course T homework
Reading
Uni study
Course C 1 session

 

And dear Zee. Don’t forget to sit under the open sky. You need it.