Oasis of Peace

Om I’m so tired I don’t like it

gonna sleep earlier tonight. I’ve been making 11pm happen so I’m after 1030 tonight.
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

And I’ll sleep with the darkening blinds on. So I can get really really well rested to train on Saturday. Not gonna let this week go by without going to the dojo at least once for mma class

pretty sure I’m gaining muscle. Stopped weighing myself it was making me overheat maybe?

Going to just drink a protein shake with creatine. Those amino acids and bulking powder were kind of overkill for me.

im doing great with Loki. I haven’t found a second god that I’m good in ranked with though. Maybe Vamana could work.

I think I met someone who dropped 20 grand $ on smite. Kinda made me wanna not talk to ppl for a while on here heh

 

Snooze -_-zZz

sleeeeeeppppyyyyyy

 

Just that

sleeping pill at 830 kinks me out konks me out. Can’t stay up later than 1030pm now

Superb

such a nice easy fix


Oh man

sheesh . Om where to start. I slept with the window open. Bad idea. Now I’ve got this cough. Omm zero inquiries on my pt profile that’s all bad. I was a hit in my area but now I’m pursuing a new state I got zero inquiries. Awful

So I edited my profile to highlight the affordability of therapy with me. Without using all caps haha.

Hope this works.

I think there are just a lot fewer clients in this more rural state I’m working in. The city I live nearby has so many people there’s plenty of clients to go around.

I’m not excusing myself I think I can still make it. But being a male therapist is tough. We get less clients cause people just tend towards wanting a female therapist statistically.

well I’ll try to make it happen somehow…

 

I tried a little push day today but my allergies or cold whatever are too brutal.

I can’t even exercise well right now. It’s best I just walk and sit about. Drink lots of water and eat well too.

Ah what a drag. But oh well. It’s nice to see myself actually resting to recover from illness and damage. So I can recover better.

I walked a tiny bit and same with some Muay Thai forms. Just holding myself up on the dip bars was really tiring so I laid off the training for today. Hope I can get it tomorrow or at least by Wednesday

man there’s no time to go hit the dojo. What the heck?

good news is I put up 40x5 on dips last week and feeling big

it’s nice

maybe more Muay forms

 

I tried a little push day today but my allergies or cold whatever are too brutal.

I can’t even exercise well right now. It’s best I just walk and sit about. Drink lots of water and eat well too.

Ah shoulder hurts from soccer. Will do shoulder therapy beforehand if I play again.

We’re just waiting on the HVAC to fix. Seems like it’s a legitimate problem. Not a scam like the landlord was concerned about. Honestly I think the LL worries too much sometimes but who knows. He’s obviously getting stuff done well so it works for him.

idk I’m just like the iMac isn’t working call them it’s fine. He’s like asked me to watch them. So….im here watching them make sure they aren’t being shady. It doesn’t look shady so far. So. I guess it’s fine.

just hanging out here on the balcony with the hvac guys.

man hope I get more clients soon or I’m gonna need to find a new company that can help me out and I can use my license from the city where there’s more business.

esp for a male therapist it seems.

 

I got faith it’ll come through and I’ll make an honest living at this job I’m at now.
We got this.

alright

 

Om

I’m praying to get the best job for me at the best time for me.

I’m still on this grind I guess but like. It’s…..gone so slow I don’t know if I’ll make it at this company here.

Maybe I can find some nice company with a sign on bonus in the city for me. That treats me well and gets me good business.

maybe I can even keep some old clients who knows.

man

so I’m just checking in on the emails and applying on indeed maybe every other day.

even everyday. It’s not much time or effort really. I’d like to land a lot of jobs and pick between at least three offers. And this time I want more money, a sign on bonus or fully telehealth.

I guess staying with Jane would be ideal though. She already gives me telehealth and is nice to me. The pays good if I ever get any clients.

it’s hard right now having no clients. Really hard

literally I have like maybe two a week. I need about 20 to make rent and 35 to make a good living. This is rough I anticipated a whole lot more activity. The jobs just barely moving right now it’s glacial.

idk what the founders thinks

 

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

cold or allergies whatever

not comfy

blew out so much mucus today
Coughed out yellow stuff yesterday
Today only which stuff that’s good
It’ll go away soon
I am healthy
I am healthy
I am healthy
Keep affirming

oh man

I still got stronger that’s good

Im doing chin-ups rows and curls for pull day

hope it develops my last enough

 

Om

man

out of it

shouldn’t have done more than one chinup yesterday. That was foolish to do double my schedule training and sleep past 11

This cold has been botgersome but I amazingly still did a lot of dips.

kinda wish I had a bench press
That’s okay tho
Dang I got a job rundown tomorrow.
cool
one pm
That’s for the best I’m all sniffly and gross today. Hope it clears up more by tomorrow. I’ll honestly probably still work legs if my rack comes today

 

No training today
Don’t be too tough for your own good.
You’ll rest have two sessions that’ll be it.

moomoo

 

Om

Today I realized. My job helps keep me sane. Talking to people. Being a good enough therapist. It keeps my mind in order. Keeps me sharp and more driven. I just start to fall off slowly but surely when I don't really have any responsibility. It starts to lose meaning.

Guess my mom sees that and it's part of why she doesn't just give me money. heh.

I wonder if I could work two jobs. And why I've been so tired and out of it.

I wonder if it's even a good thing for me to train mma or I should just stay home and exercise. If I'll ever have enough energy to handle MMA even a day or two a week and maintain my three days of strength training.

I miss my energy. I shouldn't have done a double day yesterday. No more double days of any kind again. Just one thing per day with 2-3 rest days. Ideally 3 rest days really.

But then if I have 3 rest days.....4 days on. That only leaves one day for mma.

That's not much.

I could do just 2 days strength 2 days MMA. That could work. One day upper the other lower. mhm

 

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

my gym looks lovely .

it’s no beginner gym here. This is slothys gym!!!

it has barbell squat and deadlift setup. I have a folding 1000 lb capacity bench in my cart on zon right now. I’m not buying yet though. Kind of…need some money. But business is getting going which is good.

yeah once I get my bench in here it’ll be looking good. Real good.

Thats the full powerlifting setup.

 

Om

Oh gosh. I slept 14 hours last night. I'm still beat tired. NTS don't workout same body part two days in a row unless it's to grease the groove. Otherwise it can strain a lil.

Awe my cat came and sat on my lap for a bit that was nice. I got up and sang for a while in the shower. That was kind of nice. Just nice to do something positive.

Saturday Tuesday Thursday. Meetup days.

Cool I guess everythings done. Slept a ton. Got my work progress moving. Just hanging in there to get some money. Shoot.

I'm gonna have to sell like all my stocks right now just to make rent. Hope they're up lol.

Either that or sell my nice gaming PC but I don't wanna part ways with that.

Om.

Yeah gonna keep hanging in there.

aw damn the markets beeing going down esp on NVDIA.

Oh well that's too bad shoulda sold earlier but it's still in the green i suppose. hmph.

Alright so I sold like everything but 100$ of VFIAX.

Basically I have no stock anymore but I'll have money to pay the rent and I think I netted about $400 from my venture into stocks the past two months.

I'll take that right on!

Also screw buying individual stocks lol. I'm gonna start buying only mutual funds, buy and hold. But I want some diversity in the level of risk the funds are taking.

two safe and two medium.

That'd be great. Also I'm selling my Wii for $110 right now.

Just scrounging that money to pay the rent. heh.



Gotta hang in there care bear.

Things are looking up for me financially and I'm going to have some good income. Hopefully seeing my first small paycheck April 30th.

Then actually making enough money to pay living expenses as of May 30th. Then I can save and start investing in mutual funds again in June I hope...

I'll try to save a lot of cash for paying taxes and stuff. Only invest about I dunno 25% of my savings into stocks and leave the 75% for living expenses and paying taxes I think.

 

feeling pretty bleh
Hope that improves soon
just need to go drink Kefir
Eat homecooked brown rice.
I'll be alright

 

Om

I may actually post my youtube channel here. I think I hit 3k views. I don't wanna check it though , I try to take breaks.

Om

Dang I've been unduly tired for a while. This cold really beat me up I guess. I hit 170 lbs if I'm not mistaken. Could weigh myself again soon.

I'm tracking my total meals per day. Which means. I had 4 meals yesterday. That's good. I'm trying to cook and eat more fresh food too less frozen.

I'm sorry for my writing style not having paragraphs and subject headers and closers and transitions for each paragraph. I know it's just kind of a sentence or three. Then an open line rinse and repeat. My cat's so darn persistent. He refused to back down till he got on my desk even though I deterred him multiple times.

He's had a limp I need to call to fix that up. Poor thing I'll call now.
Alright I got it done.

I can't stand the front desk guy Keith. He's the worst. I hate that guy heh. Well. He's the one I have to deal with to get my medications and vet visits setup for Meowy so that's what it is. Such nicer people who are equally or more competent could've been hired for the job though. I wish that would happen.

I don't need why an antagonizing desk person need work there tbh.

Oh well.

Psych today said the best way to deal with annoying people or experiences. Is to have a strong negative reaction to it. Then let it go. So that's what I just did without swearing. It's, ... swearings no good for me.

Bleh I guess I can try to kill him with kindness. Pain in the butt that it is. It does work. It does.

I used to get really mad at the receptionist at my dental office. So I just kept trying to hold my anger back and kill her with kindness. Months later we're all good and she's my favorite person to handle front desk things with.

I'm gonna try to do it with Keith too. Hard as it is. It's what's right for me to do. Even if it's a lot more give on my side than take to start. I won't give up.



Thoughts of revenge surge through the mind
Listening to LoFi helps me unwind
I know what's right to do in my heart
The excess feeling can come out like a fart
This two inch Buddha a good reminder
To be more righteous like a cats purr
Without the Zazen in the morning
Without the prayer
I'm not mourning
I'll still be a Slayer
Of the sins and evils of the world
My philosophy I've hurled
At a sticky situation
Much to my elation
The grinds paid off, time and again
With or without my precious Zen
I'll fight on as a spiritual warrior
That I may I pour peace into a world of war

 

I’m sad without my partner here. Next time I’ll maybe go for…no it was the right choice not to go. I’ve been coughing up phlegm all day still.

just got to keep riding it out.

Haven’t had an illness persist for two weeks like this before. Guess something gross got me when I left the window open that one night. I’ve heard of older people doing the same and getting pneumonia. So I guess this isn’t so bad.

Dang leg day was exhausting. Idk what I can do now to recover well. Just sleep early and try to make it quality sleep.

Honestly I feel less lonely when I’m watching BAKI than playing games with people I don’t know. Maybe I try to talk on mic now we’ll see

 

Om

I don’t feel so hot right now. I have been worried about money. I had dreams that I lost my home and partner due to being too poor.

All I could think about was wanting to get back to her.

 

I have $150 worth of stuff I can return today to Amazon. Then I can apply for snap. I just want to sleep really. Rest. Sleep off this cold. Talk to job 1 and open up my hours on evenings m-w to get a few more clients. Even three weekly clients would be huge. That would be enough to make ends meet.

let’s go for that.

Hope my cats open to some couch naps today. That’s pretty much my MO.

I’d like to go to the dojo later this week. Like tomorrow. That’ll cost me $150 for the month.

I can do that.

just one month.

I don’t know anything else I can do aside from just studying the training manual for job 2.

I’m hustling out here grinding for some therapy gains.

gonna update my profile on psychology today.

just give it my best shot. Sleeping with the door opens best. Keeps it cooler. Cat will wake me up by curling up in a ball leaning on my face at six AM. That’s fine. Off work at six in bed at ten. That’s no problem. Even in bed at 930. That’d be good.

I think I can I think I can I think I can

I am getting better everyday in every way.

 

Just gonna post a link to my youtube channel here as an experiment and see how it goes. Hey I hit like 3800 views today awesome!

If I get even one subscriber from NoFap.com I will put my youtube link in my nofap signature on here

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK-4oSU6RYw1MD9NQKqv-JA

^That's my channel^

 

Iommmmm
Om
Om

omomom

it’s 945. I’m sleepy and want to hit the hay. Soon huh?

felt great getting up at 630 today. I’ll sleep with my door open for cool air and get up before seven again.

heh

lost my taste for games after this long cold. Just been back into my roots of anime and mma videos