I feel hopeless (Not hopeless anymore, i success)

I get what you’re saying, and I agree there are probably cases where it’s just harder or impossible to enjoy vanilla for a person.

I did want to emphasize though that it seems that there is a connection between being romantically attached to a person and perhaps surprisingly finding you enjoy vanilla with them. To the OP, I guess I wanted to share that happened with me because I don’t think people should write off that possibility too soon. From that Federoff book as well, it seems that is a conjecture he made.

Definitely get you’re trying to help and I appreciate your perspective and largely agree with it. Just wanted to emphasize what I said too