Day 10-11 anxiety, anyone else get this?

This a really self-aware post.

When we spend our time PMO'ing, we are subconsciously blocking out a lot of feelings and emotions. Many people do not realise that a PMO addiction often serves as a way of hiding from emotions and feelings we do not want to experience. So when we stop PMO'ing what happens? All the negative emotions we have been avoiding come up to the surface to be processed. That is what is happening here.

The anxiety and worry comes up to be resolved and experienced. The tough part is that negative emotions, create negative thoughts. So a lot of the thoughts you have will be irrational thoughts being created by the anxiety and worry. The best way to deal with them is to allow them to come up for as long as you can. The minute you play the guitar, start to read or play video games - you start to suppress the emotions again and stop the process of them being released. However, sitting with anxiety and worry all day is extremely tough, so I would moderate stimulation as much as you can but allow time for the emotions to come up.

It is very very tough and a horrible feeling, but they are emotions and cannot harm you in any way. As the anxiety and worry gets released, it will weaken to the point where you can just sit still and not be plagued by negative feelings.

This all sounds extremely "woo woo" for this forum, but I can guarantee you it is very real and true.

 

Спасибо бро мне это очень поможет)

 

Hey I'm 34, I stopped using porn in September 2023, >18 year addiction, when I stopped, I cried every single day for 6 months straight, I didn't understand why, I felt clinically depressed, vulnerable, feeling worried/anxious all the time. I still am, I feel better after a face to face with a doctor, but I feel on the edge of depression, I'm not crying as easily or entering into depressive thoughts as often. I now understand I was using porn to block out emotions but I don't really understand these emotions that I am now having to feel, I just feel really tired and unhappy day in day out, I struggle to deal with any stressful situation out of the ordinary. Social anxiety can keep me thinking for hours and effect my sleep. My sleep is really bad, I'm sleeping but not really sleeping if that makes sense.
I hate my job, my house, I'm poor, my life is a reflection as to how I have done in a distracted porn addicted introverted world, I regret every decision I have made, I often find myself hoping that some rich person will just save me from this torture of a life or I will win the lottery etc I know things that I could do to improve my health I.e excercing but it's like I haven't got the mental/body energy to do it, I don't know what to do my days fly by its like I zone out. Lots of love everyone hope you're all going strong

 

I think everything you are describing is typical for someone recovering from a long term addiction. The crying, the feelings of depression, the anxiety, all of it is somewhat "normal" for a person attempting to give up PMO or any other addiction for that matter.

I think it helps to understand that depression is basically all of your unresolved feelings and emotions, being held in your body. Many of us believe that depression is a mental issue, when in fact it is actually a bodily issue. We spend years PMO'ing, gaming, smoking, drinking or eating junk food as a method of hiding away from our real world problems. As a result, the brain never gets the opportunity to process or experience those feelings and instead they get held within the body. The problem is, those stuck emotions have to go somewhere and they hold a large energetic value. This is where the term 'emotional baggage' comes from. We are literally carrying all these unprocessed emotions, causing the nervous system to become unbalanced, resulting in chronic fatigued and other strange symptoms.

Feeling as though you hate your job, your house, your life is exactly how I felt not too long ago. I would go out to parties at any chance I could to drink away the numbness. I would order piles of junk food and cakes to get rid of the anxiety. I would play video games until my brain would hurt. I would isolate myself from friends and family because I had no energy to speak to them. It was horrible, and while I do not experience the feelings as badly now, I will never forget how sad and alone I felt. However the most important thing to understand is that the feelings and emotions are not real. When you sit alone and you are drowning in anxiety or sadness, those emotions will naturally create negative thoughts with them. It is important to understand that the thoughts are not yours, and simply the negative emotions being released.

Don't be tough on yourself. Don't feel guilty if you don't make the gym like normal, or if you eat sugar a bit more than usual. Or if you haven't started that new project yet. Or if you currently have no direction for life. Healing and taking care of yourself should be paramount, your main focus and your top priority. You will 1000% be a better person than when you first started eventually. For now, focus on paying the emotional debt and just experiencing those feelings. Eventually they will lessen and the "real" you will arrive.

 

32 year old here with over 14 years of porn (not everyday but had long sessions whenever I watched). The thing you mentioned of "crying spells" : this is exactly what happens in reboot. I too had this exact feeling. The dopamine level has gone very low due to reboot. don't worry, you have to abstain hard-mode -- definite changes were visible for me after 6 month to 9 month mark ( no semen discharge by any means and no porn and no fapping)