Is it possible to Fight this addiction alone?

I have been going to meetings on and off since 2008 and never once felt any real danger or felt a genuine need to protect myself.

 

In my opinion, you need to seek connection with other people... also, I would recommend joining a religious or spiritual group which also has girls in it. If you are actively participating in a group with girls in it, then you will have more of a motivation to stay away from porn and masturbation because you instinctively want to look good for the girls.

But if you never have any women present in a social setting, then the instinctual part of you might not see any reason to keep your seed inside of you, and instead you may turn to PMO or MO because you don't think it matters anyways

About going to an all men's group: I don't know... I guess it could be good and is better than just sitting alone all day in your house... I'm not sure on that one to be honest

 

It won't. But it will help with the isolation if isolation is a problem.

Working the steps, living life on spiritual principles and dedicating the rest of my life to helping others will help solve all my issues.

 

I was successful by journaling regularly on NoFap, philosophy study and meditation, and (text) connection with people I met here on the site.

But it took years. So it's possible "alone"; perhaps it would go faster with therapy, 12 step, etc, I don't know.

-EK

 

It might be better but you have to watch out for therapy abuse. There's a good BBC documentary on therapy abuse in the UK and r/therapyabuse which might help you understand what it looks like. Another thing that might be helpful is watching the Apple TV+ drama The Strink Next Door. It's based on the true story of a therapist who controls the lives of his clients.

There was a time when I was all for seeing a therapist and the only thing stopping me was my financial situation. Looking back I'm glad I didn't see one since I was quite vulnerable and it would have been easy for a therapist to take advantage of me. I'm still open to seeing one but only if someone I know and trust recommends a particular therapist. Or I'm familiar with the work of a therapist by reading all their books or listening to their podcasts. There's no way I would see a therapist just because I saw their advertisement online and definitely won't see one on BetterHelp.

 

Brother.
I think im the worst and im not gonna mention anything but i got out of it. 147 days hardmode.

 

Perhaps it could be possible...however the climb to victory would seem much steeper without like minded people accompanying you...

 

In theory, it should be easy but depends on how mentally strong you are. If you're a people pleaser or scared of standing up for yourself it might be harder. I'm a bit of a people pleaser and that makes me vulnerable to abusive therapists.

Expertise is important but you need a therapist you can trust.

 

does anyone know what happened to the accountability partner section on the site here? I cant find it

also, i recommend staying clear of discord nofap groups. very triggering stuff in there from what i saw, sadly

 

...you arm yourself with what will help you combat this addiction.We're here for support as well...ok...just reach out to us...learn to strengthen your mind...build defenses which will help you say NO....

 

strong man is strongest alone.

 

I personally believe it requires more courage and strength to recognise your problem and to tell others about it and admit to others about your deepest insecurities. So the strong man is strongest together.

 

@A_glass1900, I've really struggled with the idea of attending SAA's- of being transparent about my most private and insecure shit, with strangers, and also communing with people who might be dealing with some extremely heavy and dark stuff that's beyond my issues with porn. Also, just the idea of being out in the open about something I have so much guilt and shame around... Damn.

All that said, guilt and shame thrive in the dark. And just about every great story of transformation involves a parallel to the knights of the round table situation, wherein each hero begins their journey by entering the forest at the darkest point to him or her. If handled with care and precision, following your fear can often be the only roadmap ya really need in this lifey.

Now all that said..... Life is hard. And messy. And not a fackin fairytale. So take with grain of salt, but for me, I look to where I can take action. Eg: I'm finishing my last sem as a returning student right now, and otherwise am attending open AA speaker meetings on weekends. I've long struggled with drink and drug addiction as well, but once I'm done with my last sem, I am going to start SAA groups too- I've reached out to a program organizer recently, and have at least set the stage to dive in fully and to start working the steps when I have the time to do so.

But I want to stress this point: you don't necessarily need to be an alcoholic to attend AA. The principals of sober groups are literally the same, and often times the language of these groups is vague: "My gf left me and I was tempted to use...". Thus, whether it's alcohol or benzos or porn, the general shit of an addict's life is all the same, and can be related to very easily, regardless of the vice. So if AA is less intimidating, it might be worth considering.

Sorry to go on, and thank you for this great prompt, but I just wanna lastly say that if you find yourself not able to take a big leap of Faith and confront the super scary shit head-on, well, in my humble opinion, taking hops of Faith can be a valid place to start. To have the humility to recognize that you aren't ready to make some giant change, but then still having the balls to do what you can, even if it seems insignificant, and won't lead to some immediate solution and/or showers of grandeur... Seems like a noble approach to me.

Aim low, yet aim up; ya know? Anyway, best of luck to ya, the fact that you've decided to spend your time and energy on here hashing this out means you're already taking the right steps forward, so... Keeper movin', aye?!

 

Bump. Still would like an accountability partner. There used to be a section for that on this site...