Oasis of Peace

So day 3

I’ve realized I need to strive for something or I start to stagnate.

like Bruce Lee said, “Like water that stays healthy as it keeps flowing. The human body does best when it keeps moving.”

water that stays still stagnates grows unhealthy.

so I must keep flowing to stay alive and well. Keep going not rest upon my laurels. (Greek Olympian reference).

I know I got this. The futures in the palm of my hand )

 

After about ten straight losses in ufc 5 on PlayStation. I realized you can’t get better at the game by playing. You have to get through tons of tutuorials on YouTube and stuff. Even then you can not block chat in game so there’s just constant trash talking which is pretty toxic☀️

give that game 2/5 stars.

also my hands end up hurting and I don’t want to invest in the learning curve when I’ve grinded out about 150hrs already on smite and am good at that game: it’s much better in general for me as I get to enjoy being a boss and Im able to mute all players fully whenever I want to.

also it’s just a lot less intense tbh. I have my real life mma and my virtual life moba

I hope that’s enough for me

to be happy and all

ommm I think that was a huge waste of $50 and I’m not buying anymore games ever again only free games with no more than $20 in game purchases

that keeps the budget much smaller vs $50+ per game you try it and download it don’t like it after an hour and you’re screwed out of $60

blehhhhhhhhhh

miserable game darn it. Makes me miserable to play games where you can’t block the trash talkers

 

Also bulking dumb lol. Gonna just keep training hard and I’ll eat what I can plus a bulk shake and creatine daily that’s good enough

kinda wish I had barbells kinda glad I don’t

thigg by s are really cool around the apartment. I have like budding apt friends. We workout and chat about things

it’s nice since I ….:don’t have friends


lol I got so bored of genshin impact

now it’s just smite for me

hope I can stick with just smite and invest in it. So I can develop mastery and enjoy being a boss at one game. Instead of being miserable on the low end of the learning curve at a game I’m not happy with

I saw ppl playing dbz fighters and I don’t wanna play fighting games anymore. Like just the intensity the dedication the many hours of grinding up your combo delivery and blocking timing. Like no thanks it’s not for me. If I’m already doing that IRL I’d like to get time on games to relax and do something a bit different and more fantasy anime stuff I guess smite fits the bill because I like religion and mythology. Also I’m decent at mobas and it’s not toxic by comparison to LOL

Gonna uninstall ufc…. Sighs

you’d need soooooooooooo much learning to play that game it’s not fun to go thru that

geez

I know I can stomp people at no gi bjj if I come prepared. I know I can do it!!!!

I just need lots of energy and a few more classes to get my stamina up. I’ll destroy people!!!!!

now I’m bummed I didn’t get to play smite. Hah.

oh well at least I got to try out a fighting game and be very strongly reminded why I d

 

Yeah peeing a lot on creatine but body’s adjusting

did 11 pull-ups today in a row and 25x5 chin ups

25x7 dips

 

Day 4

These days are relatively accurate haha. So long as I post daily.

im so full. I need to not be eating red meat like ever again. Just give me a lot of chicken if I wanna eat a ton. Or fish I guess.

crap I wanna just sit on my couch and plays games. But I’m not really at home we gotta watch this movie at bulmas house

ommmmm

that’s okay I’ll recover fast and enjoy the show I’m sure just kinda lazing about anyways over here

 

Arghhhhh I want more smiteeeeeee

But I have to eat my pills and sleep instead when we get home T.T

it’s alright I’ll get up and play tomorrow some in the morning.

Also I got two good games in today so at least I got some game time

 

That’s a nice mantra. Makes me feel like getting my habits better.

Thank you! Mastery of things is enjoyable .

Om creatine: taking 5g a day with no loading phase has been excellent for me. Increases in stamina, strength and muscularity have been observed after only a week.

the first few days I peed more often but it’s leveled out and is manageable now.

I have been drinking more water to prevent dehydration which works. When I did 20g for a week loading phase it was not pleasant and wayyy too much restroom breaks needed haha. But I blew up faster that time. I also got burned out on the creatine. This way seems more sustainable.

Yeah it’s good! It tastes funky so I mix it or just drink it fast.

I have the optimum nutrition and core nutritional brands. Both seem fine tbh


I’m on crazy supplement amounts rn. Like BCAA/EAA, protein or bulking powder, creatine, fish oil, multivitamins and sometimes vitamin c too.

omgosh. lol.

love the creatine tho. I’d have done a loading week but this guy told me not to so I listened to them hah

Let’s see how it’s doing in a couple weeks maybe the creatine will saturate me more fully

 

Day 5

hey medium modes good. Honestly it felt weird orgasming with my partner. But I guess it’s fine. She’s gotten better at sex stuff over time. Really good tbh

I learned from a fellow Fapstronaut to just keep it positive and encouraging. And sort of ask for what I want and have faith in her with lots of praise.


ommm!!!!!!?!?!!!

As you saw in posts to JCamp

I’m absolutely exhausted today. And I’d say I blame the combination of trying out coffee, stying up too late (like 4am!), starting at an mma gym and just being drained after bjj sparring, hanging with my gfs parents for a long time yesterday, Om my cat being wild and waking me up. And of course going way too hard at the gym yesterday because I got to train with a friend for the first time in ages and was super excited.

phew

please take it easy Z! S2

thankfully I saw my therapist who made it clear to me that all I had to do was take my pills an hour before bedtime and I’d be fine.

on a side note. I made about 3 pounds of Turkey fried rice. And it’s delicious. It’s got soy sauce and rice vinegar for taste. And I top it with kewpie Mayo and guy kaku bbq sauce. Both imported sauces from Japan. So good. Omgosh

I am actually so tied that I can’t play games or watch anime right now. So tomorrow I’ll aim to just watch anime all day and rest. Try and eat early and no caffeine stuff really makes me crash hard.

it’s so good I wanna share it but I also want to eat it all. I’ll just eat it all tomorrow while I watch anime. And really indulge in the sauces. No big deal if I eat lite Mayo . It’s fine, I’m in good shape.

oh I got some gymnastics rings at home now. All I can do are L sit holds though. They don’t fit on my setup in any other way sadly. No ring dips. It’s alright tho. I can just do paralell bar dips which is going swell. I’ll probably just do another full rest day tomorrow and then train on Tuesday. Maybe push at home and kickboxing or bjj in the evening. But not both please. Feeling very tired is not pleasing.

man now I want even more rice. Imma just down chocolate instead

yum

I got this German chocolate from my mom it’s so good and actually from Germany

 

Day 6

yesssssssssss the momentum has been rolling since my last therapy session. I took meds at 1130 last night and tonight my goal is 1030! I got this I can I will.

yommmmm ommmm

mhmm


Feeling better already. Taking water and walking breaks between games. Tarting th day with anime and stretching with breakfast. Gearing up for a great day

 

I am actually just waiting for my galaxy tablet to boot up. Yes it’s slow


Ommm. Breathes . Tired. Doing better tho. This is the first time in a very long while I’ve done two full rest days in a row

guess it’s good for me. Also I just ge lonely and bored in the weekdays with no work.

I’m the best rose namaunas chants on the way to the octagon. Yeah I’m the best fun

why this so laggy?

maybe stream two ah yes two is smooth wonderful

awe I just want more cuddles while I recover. Tomorrow evening will be 7pm nogi bjj. I got my rash guards. Probably be alright then.

where did rose go anyway? Who knows maybe had a kid or something.

man this venue is tiny . Covid style lol.

yay bulmas home now can sleepy cuddle

 

I’m actually caring for my health and not being crazy training hard no matter what.

Bah! Oh wel. I guess this this is growing up

 

Ommmmmmmmmm

Day 8!

I’m getting excited. so like, hey I got a free Nintendo Wii maybe I can find a buyer and get over $100. That’d be nice.

Dang I’m all scratched up from my cat like brutally.

it’s gonne be fine and ok tho. We learned through Reddit how to prevent this. Phew.
So now what?

I did litter dishes and clean toilets. Need to do trash and I’m good

 

Ommm as expected people are. Much better in ranked smite. They also all play the game through though I don’t have much experience. Everyone played and was decent.

I just wanna get Loki rto mastery ten so I can buy his diamond skin. Very cool.

Then I’ll get Ymir’s golden skin. That’ll be pretty sweet. Ngl

I’m honestly a little scared to play ranked as I know your record with a god will define your ranking in the game. So every game really counts towards your placing. Of course it’s no big deal otherwise. Like maybe I should just play and not care lol.

should I just go try to sleep now or what?

I did not obey my morning alarm and slept in till like 11am

shoot that’s not helping. I’ll make it up at 9am tomorrow no matter what. I don’t wanna push any harder than that … no I can make it 7am screw it!

I got this. No naps either.

tough it out soldier. I’m gonna work my pull tomorrow too

I’ll do weighted pull ups db curls and back lever.

Argh. I’m not sure how back lever is going for my shoulders. Puke push ups are actually helping them a lot.

Ah smites glitched. Ommmmm oh well. Right. I’m proud of myself for making it to ranked and winning my first match! Also for getting Loki to master y 7 and Ymir and to 3

Now I can play a tank and a damage well. Maybe I should hone my skills with Anubis Agni or Poseidon . Shrugs. Then I could play phys magic dmg and tank

 

Day 9

Ommmmmmm


I’m so effin dead right now fam. Omgosh. Sleepy


I got up at 7am. Worked out and finished breakfast with a little spiritual practice.

I am so fatigued right now.

But it’s okay cause I’ll sleep at 11pm tonight and the. Just keep on my 11-7 schedule no problem.

I’ll get up later to do my cats medications and litter but otherwise I’m not doing anything today.

Tomorrow I’ll go kickboxing for sure tho. Saturdays a maybe.

Om I love you

 

Day 10

sparring last nite was overall good. I will need to swap front levers for kettlebell swings to give my hip flexors adequate rest.

Also I need better shin guards as I’m now the proud owner of a bruised left ankle lol.

Currently icing them. I’ll want ear guards and shin guards. Hope my skin does ok with the ear guards. Also that’s more laundry lolz

I’m doing no gi bjj to save on laundry rn as the gi is a crapload of laundry.

ommm

comments on medium mode

It’s going great actually. I’m finding that I am much more gentlemanly. I try my best to control my sexual energy and not thirst over my sisters out here. Even if they are fine. Just to respect them because perhaps if not consciously they can feel that in their subconscious and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable via ogling heh

It’s nice

I feel like Goku keeping his energy inside.

Of course it’s making me very patient with my partner after the initial like sitting there feeling the urges occur waiting till they pass and repeat.

Om hmmmmmm

I want breakfast sandwiches and glide floss from Costco. Idk anything else I don’t wanna carry cat food today with my ankle as it is.

Cara can come and carry it if she wants but that’s too late we’ll need to make time for us to get dinner and have sex

fyi tmi lol we didn’t do it all week. And no PMO from me either on my medium mode. So When we do it tonight maybe we’ll read some hentai and like really go for it. Though maybe no hentai since like we don’t need it if we’ve saved all that sexual chi the whole week. Well be plenty aroused I’d say

 

On Gaming and bedtime

Bedtimes good so that’s awesome. 11pm sleep 7am get up. No problem. just keeping it rolling

Gamings cool. I feel like Reddit helped me get over my fear of losing streaks and low AAMR or “Elo”. As I’m getting up to ranked speed.

I played an unranked game and pretty easily won. Which is evidence that ranked plays improving my game a lot.

Yep. So I’ll just go for it with Loki, Nemesis, Ymir and Bacchus. Assassin guardian class.


A third assassin guardian ommm. Who would that be?

Maybe Awilix or Thanatos. Cerberus Roebeks a warrior or guardian?


A Poem

This time it’s different
More grounded in reality
Patient and enduring
Not desperate or flailing
Fighting striving
Healing content
I am balance
I am vengeance
I am at peace
There’s no need to fight
For I have no enemies
I fight my friends
To sharpen our blades
That we may never have to use
We just enjoy the journey in this way
Fighting on earth
And in Valhalla ~

 

Day 11

Sex last night was actually really good. We were both well pent up from no PMO all week together. She just naturally doesn’t do PMO pretty much.

kinda weird trying to talk to people in public for making friends. Guys kinda of need disarming and women need to know you’re not hitting on them. So basically.

Om

guys just compliment them or something.

girls just make small talk and let them know I’m here with my girlfriend I just like making friends with people. Or chatting with people little less forward.

Haha I’m in line to get food and the line is like thirty people long and it keeps filling nonstop

 

Day 12

hooooooooooooooooo
Tired now
Omm tired

seems like my times of dedicated video gaming are coming to a close. Reading is taking its place. Spiritual, self help and manga are my categories. I’d enjoy some how to books on mma as well.

yes so. If I find a good game to play consistently. I think it would be one of those mindfulness relax games.

Otherwise it’s another venue that’s just like here. Talking endlessly into a void. Enjoying the warm of the echoes that the vacuum of space makes as my new journal post registers.

Connection to people in real life in my area.


Note to self: Always stay warm. Always keep a sweater or jacket on before exiting a vehicle when it’s 60 degrees or less outside.

now you’re all cold and it’s not pleasant

I lost interest hard in smite when I realized everyone’s just hecka toxic lol.

not everyone but many are

playing this silly game to mega strikers now. The competition modes really stiff jeez

gonna just play normal indefinitely. Maybe I should do that with smite as well

ah I totally ragequit and uninstalled. My so said smite seems bad cause I say ppl are toxic and I thought it was a sign to give it up


oh phew I didn’t uninstall

phew

that game will download like five plus hours before it runs in a ps5

nice to just be good at normal if I can make it in ranked yet

I play Loki

Ymir bacchus are backups

sometimes I gotta play warrior or guardian.

btw omega strikers was kinda fun. Just hard I guess to learn.

Ppl get better at things the more they do them.

Om tomorrow is push day. And maybe kickboxing?

bleh I need to get this chill passed first but if I make it into bjj on Tuesday I’ll count that as progress from last week when I was not doing so good like mon thru weds

yes smite okay is it more sophisticated than that soccer air hockey game?

idk

 

Basically if Ymir and Loki are taken it’s like I’m kinda out of luck. If either starts getting banned regularly I’ll have to figure out a backup character. Maybe Om Bellona?

My question is.
Do I want gold or diamond skin Ymir. Gold looks cool maybe better than diamond but diamonds kore prestigious