A new turkish Ex-Muslim and now an Atheist

Hello Folks,
Hello to all Atheists and Agnostic.
I want to talk with Nonbelievers especially with Ex-Muslim Men and Women.
You guys really have my Empathy and I love you for being brave your whole Life.

I even don't know if I still believe in God or not but my whole Life I was indoctrinated to believe in him and don't have to question his being.
And I finally and thankfully lost my Religion....but I still can't say that to my Family.
Cause I am afraid having a dispute.

I'm coming from a turkish muslim Family Background and I was born and raised in Germany.
This Year as I have became 30, I have clearly seen that this "God" never had a Plan for my Life.
It was always me who has to fight in all Baracks with my own natural instinct to survive.
I was the one who was always strong.
I was the one who is always standing up when I fell down.
But where is God? He was never there for me.
When I hear religious Teachers saying that through Prayer ylu can talk to a Friend I simply can puke.
Because a really good Friend is there for you when you need Help on bad Times.
I have prayed for my whole fucking Life.
I had Dreams and Wishes and I will probably die without reaching them.
Like having a Girlfriend and go on a vacation with her. Having my own Apartment and being finally healthy and wealthy.
I have prayed to him and I have cried so many Times but this manipulative being which People call Allah or God never listen to my Sorrows.
He rather is a hateful sadistic Creator or he simply is not there....there is no other Choice.
Because 1 Thing which made me think is .....what Plan had God for my best Friend who only has died with 14?
Fuck Heaven Fuck his System like being in a Rathole all the Time and for never finding any Solutions.
His Moral views is equal to an old Man who is living in bitterness and who wants to control the whole World like his blind Sheeps 24/7 and their Names are probably Moses Jesus and Mohammed.
If we had the Technology like we had today everyone of them would wether go to jail or forced to go to a psychiatrist!
Yes only Man are gonna control the World.
Woman are not allowed to do it.
Because this whole System don't want to see strong Woman!!! They are the real Mysoginist.
Hateful Moralpreachers!
Muslim Woman are not even allowed to marry non-muslim Man and going to Partys.
They even forced me to circumsize my Penis.
And even not having Sex before Marriage is the dumbest Thing what I have heard in my Life.
For many reasons.
Not even one single Rule makes Sense to protect People.
I hate Islam from the bottom of my Heart because it only made me suffer.
Religion is something like supporting your own Futbol Club as a Hooligan.
It is toxic through and through.
There are so much things to say.
But for now it is enough.
I want to talk here with Ex-Muslims from all around the world.

 

Thank You for your Support Man.
This means for me alot.
In Reality, when you become a new Member of any Religion, you also become a new Brother or a new Sister of someone elses Religion and have all of a sudden thousands of new fake Friends but when you are going to leave it, you are not loved anymore.
You are just loved under a condition...only because you don't agree to alot of things they preach.
Today many People hate each other because of different religious reasons.
And religious people hate non-religious people.
The viscious cycle of hate is real.
This is so insane.
Religion in general is such a thing I guess.
You then feel misunderstood.
You feel alone and lonely deep down to your bones.
This is what I am going through nowadays.

I am very happy for you that you experience such a beautiful thing like Love.
And thank you for your kind words.
Best regards

 

I think I would see myself as brave when I say this all to my Family.....but this will never happen. Thats for sure.
Thank you for your Response.

 

Yeah you are right.
Can I ask from which religious Background your Family is? And when have you decided to become non-religious?

 

I have no Hope in Religion and this will stay as it is but I have started to pray to God again. Maybe I haven't prayed to him as a Friend but more like to a Stranger. I don't know....maybe I go crazy from Time to Time because I have some serious health issues. And maybe I go crazy because I want to see my 13 year old friend, who passed away 17 Years ago.
He had deserved this Life more than I do now.
I love you Deniz Güzelkesen...my best Friend. ...

 

Thank You for your kind words I hope so too.