Is it better to watch porn?

"In my experience, you change once you do something you've never done before." I heard this in a TV show and what you wrote made me think of it. We hate how porn and relapse make us feel but at the same time, maybe because we are so low from pmo, we can't find the will to leave our comfort zone and make new habits. Well, without trying new things nothing will change, so, like you said, it comes down to the question, "do I hate change more than I hate own desperate situation now?"

 

Wait....I HAVE to be misunderstanding this. Are you asking if its better to watch porn than to make connections and do work to fight the addiction to porn??

 

I think he's giving advice: when forming new habits seems hard remind yourself that it is better than watching porn.

 

That's a good point and perhaps some people can watch porn without it becoming a problem. Personally, of all the sexual stuff I have done in my life, porn has proved the most destructive.
This drove my decision to reboot and stop.

 

Watching porn is not better than not watching porn.

 

Over my past 9 months of leaving NoFap, I was noticeably in a better mood and alert when I haven't done anything for two days instead of night after night of sploogin'. But, I will say that my urges would come back after not ejaculating. But I didn't have the urge to watch porn, it was the urge to talk to a real, breathing woman and make things happen. This is a broad hypothesis, but in most instances, people watch porn to have non-readily available experiences that they would otherwise have to connect with someone or (in the case of men) work extremely hard to connect with unobtainable attractive women that suit fetishistic needs that most would be adverse to or abhor.
I know personally if I could buy an escort I would drop this nasty habit once and for all. But that's just me.
But the moral of this story is that COMFORT KILLS.

 

Are you saying that if you hired an escort, all your lust problems would go away?

 

I’m pragmatic. I’m a sexually mature mammalian male in the midst of peak reproduction age, so that means it’s something I’m never going to forsake. Or at least until my testosterone depletes.
Addiction to that business is another dragon in itself, but it’s a far flung issue I don’t have money for.
And not to remove this thread from the raw issue, I’ll keep this short:
I personally believe lust stems from “chasing a dragon” for the best woman or best experience possible. Or for someone to fix them and make them a faithful long term wife/husband.
Those concepts are brought upon by modern Western approaches to family formation that are not realistic. Many other cultures care about duty, not “love”, or this perennial attraction based upon loyalty. And I’m agreement with that. It’s why Muhammad in the Middle East or parts of Africa has all those wives, or even the older albeit cultish sects of Mormonism.
I’m here to unplug from a digital corporate structure that chemically enslaves people to be passive drones. Not anything else. If you think this is wrong, i understand.

 

I don't know much about what other cultures do. But I'm definitely not interested in what should or shouldn't be done about lust by people who aren't addicted to it, because we will never again fall anywhere NEAR that category of people. It sounds like you're saying that since you don't have money, you're not going to engage your addiction. And if that's the case, you might as well say you need to visit the other side of the country but you don't have money, so you'll just sprout wings and fly. It doesn't work that way. It never has and it never will. For anyone. Ever.

Your post here sounds a bit technical, and many apologies if I'm misunderstanding you, but it just reads like a lot of drivel to try to justify either watching porn or getting a prostitute. And if you are doing that, I wouldn't expect any real sexual sobriety, and with that, any long-lasting, genuine joy in life.

And from what I've seen, most polygamist cultures are not that way because of any sexual desires that cannot by met with only one woman. It's because of a need to display dominance over and value higher than women. No woman who was taught her true self-worth would ever come close to getting involved with a polygamist.

 

Alright…
1. I’m not here to decide what people that have issues with their primal urges are supposed to do, either. Not understanding this, I probably missed something.
2. My take on escorts is that they provide one of the tenants of Mazlow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Sex. I’d love to live in a world where we mate for life and want for nothing, but not even animals operate that and when you peel of religion, culture, civilization, language, etc that’s what we are. And I am strong believer in the rewards system. I would never shit my life away for a bipedal urinal of a human being. That’s why their clients pay them to leave, or at least the smart ones do. That’s what I meant by chasing the dragon. Those men that constantly run through hookers for a connection that they’ll never find. Smart people are hyper aware of their urges and have them met so they can be productive. If that’s technical drivel then so is human psychology. I want to enjoy my life on this pathetic dirt rock, so that means I work as hard as I play. But I want my play to involve me and not a vicarious experience on a tiny silicone screen. This isn’t about “sprouting wings and flying”.

2. My technical drivel is based upon peer-reviewed research, religious text, and historical lectures. And I said in the original post that watching this crap is the ultimate detriment to your achievement. Come on, now. My personal issue is the removal of the human element of interaction. It’s a distraction of a degraded hyper industrial society that wants people to be passive in their own lives. This could be said for any medium that relies on you putting yourself in someone else’s life. And joy? I’m not looking for joy, I’m looking for security.

3. This statement regarding polygamy and the worth of a woman…I’m not gonna say anything I’ll just refer you to David Buss or primate dating patterns…lol

Finally, I just want to say that you have strong convictions. A world with more people like that would be a better place.
My world view is based upon the works of Arthur Schopenhauer, utilitarianism, and Baudrilliard.
I also have an interest in the history of family formation. That’s all. Thank you.

 

Phenomenal response and I'm taking this information with me. Thank you so much. I've always been fighting change but never classifying it as such strictly.