Hey everyone, Was hoping to get some advice on something. My girlfriend and I have been dating almost two years, but it's only been the last few months that I've been attempting to be PMO-free (I'm on day 2 right now of this attempt). We've been having sex since probably a month into the relationship. I notice some users talk about "hard mode," and I get a little confused about how that applies to rebooting in a relationship. If I wasn't in a relationship, I think I wouldn't be hesitant about not having sex of any kind for 90 days or whatever the reboot hard mode often is. But I'm slightly confused about what's best for my reboot and my relationship. Is it not recommended to be having sex with my girlfriend while I reboot, or just for the first 90 days, or is it not a big deal? OR, as I guess I've been sort of seeing, is it okay for the first 90 days if I'm not ejaculating? I know every case is different and everyone decides for themselves what their reboot looks like. BUT I've been pretty bummed about starting my reboot clock over again, so I want to do it right this time. And if sex as I've been having it (i.e. sex to orgasm with a loving partner) is affecting things I want to be aware of that. I wouldn't be oppose to stopping for a period of time, or having sex but not orgasming, if it meant progress in my reboot, I just want to know people's thoughts on it. Thanks. (also not sure if this affects my decision, but I haven't had much experience with porn-induced ED. I have had experience with delayed orgasm, though less now that I've been attempting rebooting).
It all depends what your recovery goals are? Are you trying to give up PMO for good? And why? If PMO is giving you sexual erectile dysfunctions or lack of interest in real sex with a partner, then that is what 90-day hard-mode reboot is all about -- to wean your body and brain off of dopamine release altogether for a limited 90-days so as to restart your physical and neurological engines, so you can have normal partnered sex again. However, if your motives to be PMO free are for other reasons that are not affecting your sex life but may be adversely affecting you in other ways, then the hard-mode reboot may not be necessary. Does that speak to your situation at all?
I suffer from Delayed Ejaculation. I did 41 days without PMO and I managed to orgasm through intercourse. It depends on your goals, I think abstaining from sex for some time really helps the rebooting process. However if sex is a vital part of your relationship then you should keep at it. I'm considering doing it all over again since i'm a lot better but I can only O in the missionary position. I think it has something to do with me tensing my leg muscles, does anyone have similar problems? I'm really in the dark here.
If you can orgasam through sex, and you don't have sustaining sexual damage I suggest you only orgasam with your partner. If taking breaks now and then boosts your orgasam do it. If you have things to workout (sexual damage), and you can't see eye to eye (sex isn't good), you might have to work on yourselves first. Quit Porn Now, best thing you can do, You do lose sensitivity down there when you wank it, also you sustain sexual damage.
Thanks everyone for the feedback. Yeah I think it makes sense what everyone's saying, that it just depends on your situation and why you're quitting PMO. My case is less about PIED and more about the addiction (particularly the time wasting and isolating parts, along with ignoring reality). So maybe sex and even orgasm with my committed partner isn't a bad thing. I read some stuff on similar sites saying some people find sex with a significant other helpful during a reboot to get our thoughts sexually back to a real-life person. I suppose it just depends on what motives people have going into a reboot, like everyone said. Thanks guys.
Hey, sorry for the late reply, thanks for commenting. I decided to continue to have sex with my partner. I'm trying to get off PMO for a lot of reasons, primarily using it in an addictive way and it affecting the way I see the world (already seeing improvements with my short amount of time!), but I wasn't really having the PIED we talk about. Plus I feel really comfortable having sex with my partner, especially now that I'm getting off of PMO. I really respect everyone who's doing the hard mode without any O, that's commendable. My situation I think probably just calls for no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm outside of sex with my partner.
