It's been just upwards of exactly 4 months since I started taking nofap seriously. This post is to just examine the effects PMO-ing have had on my mind as well as the benefits I experienced during my abstinence. The main reasons I'm doing this is so that I can remember and appreciate what being clean feels like. I've been hit by a small binge the last two days and I'm afraid I'm damaging myself beyond repair. The best time I had since starting nofap was between 1 October and 30 November no doubt. That period is in between the 67 day clean streak I managed to do. Keeping myself busy with school and a part time job meant I had no time or desire to PMO. I found myself going back to reading novels in my spare time, whilst eating travelling or using the loo, instead of searching the web which usually led me to P. During those 60 days I was happy, truly happy and was never plagued with fear, never looked over my shoulder, Guilt or the anxieties that I'm suffering from now. My self-confidence increased and I was more comfortable in my own skin, even spoke to ladies more freely. Unfortunately since December started I've been on vacation. No school or job and as such I have a whole lot of time on my hands. Around Dec 2 I was just browsing the web aimlessly and ended at at some old haunts. Over the next couple of days I'd continue visiting these websites that have triggered me in the past. Got too overconfident and this led to me PMO-ing the first time. A few days after resetting my streak I visited em again, led to me PMO-ing again. Yesterday I woke up at 1am tried to fall asleep by browsing my phone. PMO-ed again after edging for 3hours. This afternoon agter getting home I did it again. 'm so afraid that I've completely ruined what little progressed I made during October and November. My goal of being free of this addiction feels insurmountable. I've spent the lady two days as if I'm in a perpetual hangover. I'm lethargic, lifeless and feel completely drained of energy. I'm disappointed in myself, in the lack of self control I'm showing. Right now I just feel so hollow after O I didn't even have the capacity to feel anything. I just sat there staring at the mess wondering why? I know the consequences, I know the feelings it leads me to but I still PMO, why do I do this to myself?! Sigh. Tbh I'm just out of ideas, I feel like I'm going full speed into a mountain and for some reason I can't get myself to stop. Going to try and spend the next few days clean then reevaluate my game plan.
To me, it sounds like boredom has gotten a hold of you and there is a void that has to be filled. I believe that this is where hobbies and a sense of community can help out a great deal.
I have been this feeling too my brother.just listen to me carefully believe if you just protect yourself that time when trigger came to your mind you wouldn’t do it but don’t worry you can do it again and this time no matter what just protect yourself about triggers when they are coming for you not just be away for them fight with them say yourself this is a war and i have to be strong again believe me just protect yourself when triggers come to your mind, and never stop of trying no matter what you can do it again protect yourself again I’m believe in you. You can do it better this time my brother
It‘s exactly the same for me It seems to be going really well, getting streaks several weeks long just for one boring weekend or holidays to completely shatter your progress and the hope you had for finally getting free. It really is by far the biggest hurdle to overcome for me to get free of this shit. I think the next time I encounter one of these weekends I’ll just lock my digital devices away so any temptation will be futile
Sigh. Another session of edging the last 2 hours. Ended MOing of course.Who was I kidding. We try again guys.
Hello hru? I am young lady and I feel the same way right now! Been trying to stop watching P but I want to surf some videos right now!
Wow! You will make it one day! Don't worry. I know people say its possible! Just not yet for me either
Man i know what that feels like. On a few days rn. Trying to take it one day ata time. Felt like surfing a bit in the morning as well but distracted myself. Good luck to you on your journey too. We will definitely win
Hi Ironb3gle, you already had quite a streak there and got further than many of us. What was done once can be done again! You talked about reconsidering your game plan. Good idea! A clear game plan or mindset can help tremendously. My mindset is "I am Done with porn". There is no option of ever looking at it again. Why? Because I know that I cannot handle it. I am unable to handle pornography and my only option is to stay away from it until my last day. There is no doubt about this. With this being set in stone, how can it be any different? It cannot. All the best for you my friend
I would suggest if you count day not to put too much importance to them , A lot of people when breaking a long streak tend to follow up with streaks of binging. Aim instead in reducing the overall frequency. One slip is not a big deal but a binge is. Ask yourself this If I workout for 67 days and miss 1 do I suddenly lose all my gains.
Thanks for the advice Terrence add Muha. Changing my view point is definitely what I needed. Currently on Day 10 clean and it's awesome. Every morning I tell myself to just get through the day, I remind myself regularly to just get through one day and so far it's been working. I'm not as stressed out about resetting or relapsing because my goal is something simple which I can achieve. Good luck to all of you on your journeys as well. It's hard (lol) so very hard but it's worth it. We will beat this
Day 34 Wanted to post on day 30 but kinda forgot lol. It's only day 34 but feels like it's been so much longer. Genuinely don't remember the last time I was stressed out because of P. I keep going through each day by it's self. One Day at a time mentality has been helping me a lot. My goal now is to go the rest of this year with the same attitude. I feel confident that if I don't start thinking about all the times I've relapsed or PMOd I can go the distance. Just wake up and worry whether or not I'll go the rest of that day clean, just that one measly day and it's ok, I'll see the rest tomorrow. I hope this thread can help anyone else who's struggling against this sickness. YOU can do it, we'll beat it together
