Sex addiction is just as bad as porn addiction, if not worse

Thanks, so far everything is going well. Blessings for all.

 

Oof, as a Dutch guy, I do not support this statement. Unless you mean that the bicycle is an advancement over the automobile, and the automobile is more dangerous.

When I read this title, I thought "Duh. " I am glad to see that it is in fact a warning to those who do not realise this.
Personally, I would not want to have sex with someone unless she were my wife. I am not married, although I would like to be (not immediately, though, I do think there is good to the modern custom of going steady before getting engaged). I do think it would be easier to abstain from porn if I would be married, mostly because of having someone to fight for, and someone to confide in, but also because I could probably learn to enjoy sexuality in a healthy way. However, I really desire to get free from porn addiction before marriage, preferably even before getting into a romantic relationship with someone. Because from reading posts from SOs here I know how terrible it is when your boyfriend or husband is addicted to porn. A relapse feels like such a rejection to your partner. And also, there is the risk of replacing porn with actual sex. I do not want that risk. I want to get free from porn addiction, as a virgin.

 

I have on some topics that were discussed here a different opinion I would like to share with you.

First of all I agree with your initial statement. In the end addiction is addiction. Addicts come to a point where they loose willpower (or have a divided will to say it more accurately) and suffer from consequenzes. Addictive behaviours can change, escalate or turn into new addictions. There are many past alcoholics who quit drinking that changed to gambling addicts. Imagine how easy it is for a porn addicts to switch to an escort addiction. In some way porn users are even litteraly prostitution users. Porn users take the services of prostitutes, wether they pay for it or not, and are from a moral standepoint not too far away from people acting out in person. Let that sink in. Needless to say acting out with an escort in person is for a porn addict of course an escalation and has stronger consequzenzes on for example emotional levels.

As far as the debate about dating and marriage in comparison of the 21th and past centuries:

First of all, in the past marriage wasnt determined by love alone, this is a relative new thing. Most of the times the families decided who is up for marriage, and more than so often people married people with whom they were not in love with or werent even highly attracted to. Because marriage was linked with succesion of families there where lots of expectations on mens. Complaining about high standarts todays girls have? Well, without owning a lot of money and having some sort of power, your choice was very slim finding a family entrusting you their daughter. A big part of society like day labourer where often even therefore excluded from marrying and having sex in their lifes at all. And if you have been married, you could not divorce. People had nearly never more than 3 partners their whole life while only getting a new one after the old one died. Also being married did and still does not garuntees a statisfying sexual life.
In todays age sex is more easily available than ever before for a normal guy, just because premartial sex is common and not stigmatized. I would not say its a good thing though.
However , there are still a lot of conservative christian women who dont want to date and just want to mary a faithful husband. You may not find them at the night club or in the chat rooms of videogames, but rather in church services and volunteering groups. There are even more religious women than men, so chances are proportianally quite high.

 

In my opinion, this is a valid point for joining a community of some sort; doesn't matter if is a a religious community, some sort of club, or a volunteering group.

 

Of course finding a female partner should not be the only reason joining new social circles. Flirting should not be the reason why you want to be there and could even be seen as unappropiate, but solely by getting yourself in a social environment where values that you find important on your own terms you will likely meet people that will resonate with that. I think many people would be suprised how many nice fellow human beings are walking around on our earth, if they would only leave their cave

 

After all, watching pornography for so long makes you want to try real things and it can be dangerous because your subconscious mind is not aware of the dangers of having sex with different people. I tested positive for chlamydia but luckily I am asymptomatic and I have also eradicated it with a strong antibiotic that is a single dose in your life. Imagine if you had contracted HIV, what would you do? Or hepatitis? I was not aware of these dangers until one told me that he had contracted gonogorrhea. And then I had to do the blood tests and I told myself: this is as far as I've come.

 

The bicycle is my passion and I love it. I have lost many kilos with it, it is a very expensive vice because I had to shell out several thousand euros to buy a proper bike. How much healthy envy I have with the Netherlands where cycling is called there. Here in Spain they go the opposite.

 

No dispute there; it helps to get to know other people as well and make new friends, people are can share a common value.

 

Thank you Sergio. You have given all Fapstronauts a timely warning. Actions have consequences. Promiscuity is no different than any other reckless behavior. In short it can kill you!

 

This is what you think, but it’s not true. Ask any of the hundreds of men on here who struggled with P and then got married. A sexual partner isn’t the solution to abstaining from porn. It’s a separate issue. It’s an individual issue that has to be dealt with separate from “my wife will make it easier for me to not patch porn.” That’s the biggest piece of bait that gets men to think this problem will go away after they commit themselves to a woman. And it doesn’t work. It just hurts their wife who now has to deal with the ramifications of porn addict.

 

I mean, I do think my main impulse to join my student's association a few years ago was the hope that I would find my partner there, it consisting for 70%-80% of women. So far that has not worked out, but I have grown a lot as a person and experienced lots of cool things there, so yeah, I can definitely recommend joining a community, regardless of your reasons for doing so.

 

Did you read the parts of that paragraph that you deleted? Because I think that all except for the very first sentence in your post agrees with my post. And I honestly don't think that first sentence is supported by the rest of the post very well.

 

Great idea, I have to remind myself to volunteer for a good cause. I think about it often, but I rarely do it or I do it once and I'm done. I joined the Elks organization for the reason to volunteer more often, but so far I haven't found many opportunities there. This is not a knock against the Elks, perhaps I have to look for more opportunities in the club.

 

Lol

I didn’t delete any parts. I just responded to one sentence in your paragraph. Is that against the law?

You could do that yourself. Just highlight a sentence or two that you agree with or not, and give your thoughts on it.

I agreed with everything else your wrote, but just called out the one statement that you made that I think is false.