Do You Need Social Media?

People saying you need social media to get a girl are speaking nonsense. Sure some might be put off but they're the kind of women you don't want. The fact is some women are quitting social media themselves.


Here's something written by a woman on Medium:

Today is International Women’s Day and it has me thinking about our relationship with social media. I joined social media websites such as Bebo and MySpace in my teens, but the first platform I started using on a regular basis was Facebook in 2006. It was only at the end of 2018 that I began to examine closely at how over a decade of social media exposure had impacted me. In November 2018 I went cold turkey and what started as a detox has become a lifestyle choice.

Not only have I survived without it, I have thrived. It wasn’t until I left the main offenders Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, that I realised just what a toll they had taken on my mental health. Initially, I struggled to cope without my constant companion, a surprise and a shock as the level of my addiction became apparent. So out of the loop did I feel, that on several occasions I nearly fell off the wagon head first into a binge session. It was only when I watched a TED Talk by Computer scientist Dr Cal Newport aptly named ‘Why you should quit social media’, that I settled on the concept of a social-media-free life. From then on, I have never looked back. I would encourage anyone to watch this, purely to gain some awareness if nothing else.



Here's an extract from an article in The Telegraph about a woman who quit social media:

It’s been eight weeks since Selina Barker left the “toxic relationship” that made her feel “agitated, stressed and burdened”. She knew for a long time that the situation was not working, but thought she had no choice but to stay because she would feel lost and alone without it.

She was wrong. Just two months after making the radical decision, Barker has not looked back.

She says: “What’s surprised me is how easy it was. I thought because it was such a big part of my life I would really miss it. I thought there would be a kind of withdrawal period, but there wasn’t. I don’t think I fully knew how uncomfortable, drained and unhappy it made me feel.

“Giving myself permission to step away has had a bigger impact on me than even I imagined. It was so liberating. I feel happy and at peace and have so much delicious time to do the things I want to do.”

Barker is not talking about a marriage, nor a friendship. She is talking about breaking up with social media. The business coach, who had 20,000 followers online, says: “I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with social media and it’s only got worse over the past few years.

“I never really liked it, but I kept feeling like I had to be there, to stay connected with friends, create community and grow my business.

“I thought that if I wasn’t on Instagram then I would be out of the loop, that I would lose relationships and not be informed. Social media makes you feel that you need it – it’s a dependency.

“But I got increasingly irritated by it. It used to be interesting posts and suddenly it was middle-aged women pointing into the air, making reels.

“I had unfollowed and muted a lot of people but Instagram kept offering suggestions of who I should follow. I couldn’t control what was being pushed on me, and it was making me feel invaded – it was intrusive.

“I would go on to check one thing and lose 20 minutes. I’d come away feeling anxious and agitated. It was like eating something that was bad for you but it didn’t even taste good, so I had a moment of thinking: ‘What am I doing?’”

Barker says that reading Disconnected by Emma Gannon made her see that she didn’t need to be on social media. “None of us does. If it works for you great – but if it doesn’t, just quit.”



Finally here's a story from The Guardian:

Morgan Richardson, 30, nurse in a Covid unit in Los Angeles. Has no social media.

Man, the stories I could tell you of being a young woman with no social media. People get crazy, they get so mad at me!

I have a partner, but when I was dating, people thought I was a catfish because I don’t have social media. I’m fairly good-looking and people would think: “She’s lying, she just has secret accounts that she uses to stalk people with, she is self-absorbed.” No, I just don’t have social media. They don’t even ask me why.

The things I’ve been able to accomplish in a short amount of time with no social media is insane. I’m in school right now and work full-time. I’m getting ready to apply to master’s programs. And because I don’t have social media, I don’t waste my time. I’m not bombarded with people constantly taking away my time from me. I put it towards myself and my goals.

Women are blown away that I don’t online shop. I don’t feel the urge; I don’t have the constant bombarding of ads. I don’t have my notifications on my phone. Not a single app. When I get text messages, my phone vibrates. That’s it.

I get better sleep. My attention span, I think, is great. I definitely see my other friends reaching for their phones, looking for their phones, looking on social media, even in nursing school. I would just study for hours and hours and they wanted a break. I got a 4.0. I would just work hard and I wasn’t distracted.

So yeah, not only are there women who would give a guy a chance if he's not on social media, there are some women who'll be impressed by a guy who isn't on social media.

 

That's her opinion. I gave you three other women with the opposite opinion in my last reply.

 

Right now, Basil isn't looking for answers. He's looking for confirmation. He needs as much information as he can to affirm his bias right now. They're unfortunately not ready to listen. They're being driven by emotion. Hopefully, they come to their senses soon.

 

hi basil ,
I feel like that to that is why i have everything but i have managed to never log into my accounts.in web there is an eradicator extension of social media you can try ,very helpful.
When i was in school i deleted my Instagram account,but some days later i needed it for really stay in connection with my friends. So that is why i have all accounts but i never open it .

 

Totally agree, social media is not a worthy way to do it

 

If you are a beginner in dating - no, I would suggest avoid instagram or even tinder.
Unless you have an amazing social media profile - think influencer level with lots of photoshoots and travelling and constant posting - an average instagram profile will HURT your chance, not helping it.
ALWAYS exchange numbers/whatsapp with a girl. This is crucial. If a girl asks you to exchange instagram, REFUSE. Insist on exchanging number (say eg 'don't worry I won't stalk / I only stalk on the weekend' and give her your phone for her to enter her number). If she refuses again, say goodbye. Exchanging instagram puts you in the middle of 100 other loser guys who constantly PM her..
Personally, I use a flip phone and still get dates.
The only exception I'd say is if you meet a girl who's interested in you but is in a relationship, you can try exchange FACEBOOK in that case to keep an eye on her relationship status.

 

I have an account that I don't use, but I also can't take anyone seriously if that's the superficial level of judgment they have. More to the point they just won't understand. I've found there are a lot of people who will never bother to try to understand a perspective or nuanced thing that they are not familiar with and also have little recognition of the set of assumptions they make in how to frame and interpret things, in this case understanding people. Kind of reminds me of that Shakespeare quote ".. a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." They may even be convinced they are doing something noble like standing up for social justice or something when the group they want to stand up for didn't ask for it and also probably wouldn't believe they understand, but I digress.

 

If "every" senior of a certain age wears adult diapers should an older person without incontinence wear one too?

That sounds an awful lot like lets be equally ignorant with our peers. Because I guess ignorance is bliss?

Maybe the question is why should you give such a person a chance? But I guess that depends on what kind of person you, or anyone else considering the question is.

 

I'm talking to a woman at the moment and socials haven't come up, she asked if I had Snapchat I said no but we both use WhatsApp so that worked so we can keep in touch better when she's on nightshift rather than dating sites.

I hate social media, I use reddit for the anti porn subreddits and a private-mode anon twitter account for news/current affairs but that's it, all other social sites are full of porn and temptation.