Day 15 Can't believe I made it this far!!! I will be lying to you if I say I am not feeling the urge. I am really feeling it . It's started on day 13 , I was expecting it and it came , then day 14- a little - but today it came with full force but trust me guys am not buying into it. Watch out for this. TRIGGERING It's telling me in my head(the urge that is- might be triggering please don't let it be) "Do it , do it . You already did it this month, why not do it one last time to end the month then you start afresh next month" I am not doing sh*t!!! It's not happening. I am seeing this through all the way to day 30 then 50 and then I will be like @JoeBimbo 100+ Hang in there guys !!! Keep going. Keep moving. Keep fighting this evil. You fall!!! You get up immediately and you make sure you get up much bigger this time. The world is ours Your life is yours. Take Control. Unto Day 20.
Hang in there buddy. I know you can do it. You need a lot of things in your toolbox to stop the urges, as your brain starts to look for other ways to convince you doing PMO. I went as far as having disgusting pictures that I would look at when I'd feel an urge. Believe me, nothing kills a bner more than looking at a nekkid grandma, or armpit hair, greasy and pimply skin, severe headlice, etc. Another way might be to read the stories of the new people here. The stories of the guys and girls who write their post in tears, because they feel like an utter waste of life. Remember what you felt when you started this journey and that, you too, probably felt desperate in wanting to change your life. Go back to that feeling and remember that vividly. Relapsing is just 1 moment away and when you do, you have solved nothing. You erase your streak and have to to start all over again.
Day 116 Had a good day. Relaxing Sunday. I meditated a lot and I cleaned my house. Spoke things through with my gf. I feel again flat today. Dreamt that I came in my underpants, but I didn't. Work-out: day 10 Did my dumbbell workout and saw some results. Walk: day 15 Took my evening stroll through the neighborhood. Approximately 30 minutes of walking Netflix: day 16 Last Kingdom. There's 5 seasons, did you know that? No problem staying within the hour. Lying: day 13 I got into an argument with my GF. We spoke it through. It was clear that she isn't to blame for the feelings she is experiencing. She cannot take responsibility for this, as it is 100% my doing that she feels like shi. It was foolish of me to suggest otherwise. Meditation: day 106 I meditated for 50 minutes. I did an external awareness meditation, a relaxation meditation and a breathing meditation. PMO Study: day 116 Read 'Running on Empty'. The writer is speaking about the things you need to think about as a parent to not f your kid up. However, I think everyone suffers some level of emotional neglect, as we all are products of the world we live in. Sleep: day 1 Went to bed on time. Woke up many times with a sore back. No sugar: day 0 I had ice cream and some chocolates. Cold showers: day 17 It's getting better, but its cold.
@JoeBimbo how did you do it at DAY 16 I AM ON THE EGDE THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME GOING IS MY COMMITMENT!!!!!
Day 117 Finished the book 'Running on Empty'. It has taught me about the past of ny childhood neglect. Although I found it a bit wishy washy at times, it has really good things in there. The writer for example says that the parent always needs be emotionally present and speak things through, otherwise it could result in a trauma. However, I think living in this world already gives enough room for trauma. Work-out: day 11 Did my dumbbell workout. I become Arnold Schwarzenegger if I continue like this. Walk: day 16 Rain burst for the sky yesterday. So much so that the roads were unusable for a while. After all the water was drained, I took a nice long evening walk. It was great weather. Netflix: day 17 I've watched my allotted hour of Netflix. Still like Last Kingdom, but perhaps I'll switch to Johnny English soon. Lying: day 14 I had a mild argument with my girl. I said something she didn't like and it took some time to overcome that. Later we were on speaking terms again. Meditation: day 107 I meditated again for 50 minutes. There are so many meditations you can practice. Start with a few minutes and build it up over time. This really helps me to overcome my urges and get more quiet. PMO Study: day 117 Read 'Running on Empty'. As I said before, the writer says that one misplaced sentence can result in a youth trauma. I believe that some people indeed have unresolved youth traumas that they are unconsciously running away from. This in turn may result in PMO addiction. If you do have traumas, look into them with appropriate help. It could explain why you needed PMO to run away from something. Sleep: day 2 Again on time. I love my bed, so much so that we always sleep together. No sugar: day 0 Ice cream, chocolates and the stomache ache of regret. Cold showers: day 18 I feel the life force of my primal nature pumping through my veins! Just kidding…it's really still cold. It gets better, but perhaps I expect it to be groundbreaking. Perhaps I expect to be the next ice man, the secret love child of Wim Hof. Well, I know that I'm not. But I'm doing it anyway.
Day 118 Had a good day yesterday. Every morning I start with a practice case to practice my skills in my job. Since yesterday, I have extended my practice with another thing that I'd like to practice. Picked up my GF to speak things through. Tuesdays will be our night to speak things through instead of every other nights. This helps us to come to the point and address specific issues. Work-out: day 12 Did my dumbbell workout and I felt stronger already. I've been skipping the pushups, but I'll bring them back into my life. Walk: day 17 I took a long walk in my lunch break, but it was worthwhile. I was walking to the supermarket to get lunch and had two delicious sandwiches as a reward. From yesterday onwards, I will not only walk before going to bed, but also in my lunch break. Netflix: day 18 Last Kingdom is still fun, but it's a shame that everyone dies. Utred has stood up to reclaim the throne of his homeland, however it did not turn out as expected. I have also chosen to limit my other internet usage more, as I always have a lot of screentime on my Chrome app. Next time when I want to search for something, I write it down and search it for 5 minutes during my lunch break, 3 o clock break, or after 5 o clock. Lying: day 15 We met yesterday evening to speak things through. At a certain moment we got an argument, but it got solved later on. Sometimes difficult to cater to what you feel in yourself and what the other needs. Meditation: day 108 I meditated yesterday for 20 minutes, as the conversation with my girl took longer than expected. PMO Study: day 118 Been looking on the forum to see what other fapstronauts are meeting and I see that it is very different for everyone. Many people struggle with urges during the 2 week mark, but you need to find a way to overcome them. Fight the fight so that you get the confidence that you can win more fights. Don't get overconfident, as this will be a sure-fire way to relapse. Sleep: day 3 Just in time. Feel sleepy, but slept a lot. No sugar: day 0 I had ice creams. However, I feel confident of streak in the near future. I've finished all my ice cream, so I'm confident that I won't be tempted to eat ice cream. I'll get my streak soon. Cold showers: day 19 It's cold. I don't know how Wim Hof does that. Listened to a podcast a while ago where Wim Hof was a guest. He was attracted to cold water as a child and he knew that it would be his destiny. Pretty cool (no pun intended)
Day 119 Had a great and loving time with my GF. We enjoyed being in each other's company. I picked her up, cooked for her and we had a very nice and intimate rest of the evening. Work-out: day 13 I started training for running 10k. First training was to walk 5k, and that's what I did. Decided to let my muscles rest a bit, as I have been working them out all days last week. Walk: day 18 I took a long walk to the supermarket and did my evening shoppings. This took soo long. Today, I won't walk to the stores anymore. Netflix: day 19 Last Kingdom is fun. Not really the need to watch anything else at the moment. My screentime is going great too. My new method to control my screentime is working really well. Lying: day 16 Just a great day yesterday with my GF. Clearing the air two days ago and assigning a specific day for these kinds of talks does me really well. Meditation: day 109 I meditated yesterday for 25 minutes, as I wanted to be in bed on time. PMO Study: day 119 My GF and I have been discussing the most effective way of abstinence and we both agree that monk mode, the classical cold turkey way, works best. You are fighting against an addiction after all, and the only way to win from that is to stop feeding it completely. As my PMO stems from a total lack of routine, I have built a routine to prevent giving access to the habit of PMO. I have built so many other habits that I am better off with and I'm grateful for that. Sleep: day 4 Slept in time. Feel rested. No sugar: day 1 Oh yeah! No sugar yesterday. And I have continued to eat as little carbs with my dinner as possible. My stomach is far less bloated than before. Cold showers: day 20 It takes a bit longer now to get used to it. So I'll stay around this level of coldness until it's completely not an issue anymore
Day 120 Yesterday was a day to speak things through with the GF. There were certain irritations she had and she needed to vent that. I made the mistake by offering her advice, but she actually just wanted to vent. My bad, I'll ask next time. Work-out: day 14 Did an elaborate dumbbell workout with the usual exercises. Walk: day 19 Took an afternoon walk and an evening stroll. Good to walk more. Screentime: day 20 Spent 40 minutes on Chrome, 1 hour on Netflix and I think 3 hours on Whatsapp talking to my girl. Lying: day 17 There were still unspoken things by my GF. She spoke about how she felt when I reacted rashly 2 days ago. 2 days ago she became upset and slammed the telephone. This happened 4 times this week. I know this process takes a toll on relationships, but I really start to notice it. Meditation: day 110 I meditated yesterday for 35 minutes. 2 sessions. PMO Study: day 120 There was a thread of a fapstronaut who was genuinely wondering whether you should stop PMO cold turkey and stop confronting yourself with as many triggers as you can, or whether you should just face the unbearable triggers in the hope that you can learn from it? Don't fall for it. It doesn't work by confronting your triggers head-on right away. Do monk mode and then make many small adjustments after at least after your first 100 days. Take it from someone who was addicted for 23 years. Sleep: day 0 Slept late, had a meeting I went to. No sugar: day 2 No sugar baby, yeah! Will visit my parents today, so they will definitely offer me some sugary goodness. Cold showers: day 21 I'll stay around this level of coldness for a while. It's cold enough
Great streak brother. I'm a rookie here on day 4. Have had a 90 day streak but that was 2 years ago... and that too when I was chasing a girl. Let me in as well !
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/want-to-be-in-the-navy.351856/ You can read some of it here!
Day 121 Visited my parents yesterday. Don't visit them that often, so they were really happy to see me. We had lunch together and I left around dinnertime. Good to speak to them again and to know how they are doing. I've included my mom in my P-Addiction and we talk about it when my dad is not around. I regularly let her know how I'm doing. She was proud and relieved to hear that I'm on day 120 of my streak. Tried to tell her that it's no time for celebration, as my brain will not be healed from a 23 year addiction in just 4 months. It will take much more time and in that time, it's still possible to slip. Work-out: day 15 Did a short dumbbell workout with the usual exercises. Walk: day 20 Took an afternoon walk with my mom and an evening stroll alone. Good to set these steps. Screentime: day 21 Spent 1 hour on Internet, 19 min on Netflix and I think 30 min on Whatsapp talking to my girl. I notice it's very easy to keep scrolling on internet without any purpose. I need to hold on to my practise better and write down first what I want to look for and then look it up at 10 o clock, 12 o clock, 15 o clock or 17 o clock. Lying: day 18 It was very quiet with my GF. She was upset from 2 days ago and didn't want to talk to me. Meditation: day 111 I meditated for 45 minutes. 2 sessions. PMO Study: day 121 Read 'Out of the Doghouse'. The writer speaks about 14 questions to determine for yourself what your next step will be. These questions are about why you were unfaithful and to see the reason why you actually did that. Couldn't you help yourself or do you genuinely not like your partner anymore? 14 questions help you find out what you feel and then determine what you can do next. The whole book is about Betrayal Trauma and realizing the hurt you have caused with your partner by cheating, doing PMO and/or lying about important stuff. Sleep: day 1 Was tired at 10:30 PM from a day with my parents. Slept like a log. No sugar: day 0 I succumbed to the cookies my parents offered. Cold showers: day 22 I always take cold showers throughout the day. Yesterday evening I felt already a bit tired and decided to take a hot shower. It was lovely and exactly what I needed at that moment.
Day 20 If there is anything I have learnt from the last 5 days, it is that I am not invisible. I read sometimes ago that your brain as about 45% control over your body and you have 55% but most people today give their brain the 55% and take the 45% , people addicted to substance take 35% and give their brains 65% , the worst of all are the junkies who have no control at all , they take 25% and give their brains 75% . The people who succeeded at anything in life are those who have mastered the talent of give their brains 30% and take the full 70% control of their own body. I say this because I thought I was free , I thought it was finally over , I was finally going to desensitize my self from porn but I was half wrong. The brain is a powerful machine and can expand any tiny loop hole you give it. SET SMALL GOALS !! You want to completely bit this thing and be sure to never go back , set little goals that reduce pressure on you. For example, for me, I have set a goal of no porn for 2 DAYS then ,another 2 days, then another. If I continually do that in no time I am passed 100 days, secondly, it takes away the pressure if having to worry about relapsing say I set my mind from the beginning to go on a streak of 100 days straight. Just an idea, you can try it if you want to , that's what I will be doing. I think porn makes you lose motivation, is that true??? I want answers guys. Or is it that whatever you hold on to isn't motivating enough. Even knowing deep down inside your mind that what you are about to do or what you're doing is bad , porn makes it look and feel good like you can get a way with then once you're done you begin to question your self as to how in the hell you decided to do that . It's a brain trick , you can as well manipulate that and use it to your advantage. When the urge comes for me, I go out to a quiet and private place and scream at My self saying things like " are you f**king serious?", "You really want to do these", " have you forgotten how hard you fought to get here" , "you want to throw it a away for what?, 5 seconds of pleasure", " you're f**king better than this my friend". Call me weird, but talking to my self in the third person helps me. Hopefully and prayerfully it helps me overcome this as well. Also I try not to put do much pressure on myself. There is this m Morning Power Questions I ask myself every morning but have not been able to because I feel like my life lately as been the same way and I keep giving the same answers every morning, I put pressure on myself for not sticking to it . I don't want to do that anymore. Challenge my self alright and at the same time take it a step at a time. I use to hate push ups , at some point I couldn't even do five at a set then I started with 5 everyday the I moved to 10 and then 20 and now I am going 100 push ups a day at 25 reps 4 sets. Great things take time. Big things start from little things. Keep moving. Just keep moving. Make sure there is progress no matter how small it is. I won't come here until day 30 I feel like doing that makes me much much eager to come here and right down my progress for the past couple of days. It makes me look forward to writing here. Till then . To all new members welcome. I hope to see more of you , it feels like it's only me and @JoeBimbo here lately.
P makes you lose motivation. You train your brain to become a junkie brain, meaning that you will only try to gain pleasure and cannot not do anything else anymore. When you are addicted, you are physically unable to not do your addiction. Gary Wilson in his book 'Your Brain On Porn' calls it 'hypofrontality', where you don't have enough activity going through your frontal lobe anymore. You are not able anymore to regulate your own behavior. Next to addicts performing their addict behavior, they are erratic and unpredictable. All signs of hypofrontality. When you train yourself in overcoming a behavior in whatever small way possible, you become stronger in that. That's what you should aim at, because that gives motivation
Day 122 Spoiler: Long whiny post. My GF has let me know that she is stepping out of supporting my PMO process. We had a talk of almost 7 hours yesterday and it led to nowhere. A few days ago when we talked I made a clear line in the sand and decided that there are spiritual meetings that I go to that mean a lot to me. They lift me out of the dross that I'm daily confronted with. I've cut out everything else from my life so I can recover well. These meetings give me spiritual meaning. She has feelings regarding this because I hadn't told her about a past relationship with a person in that group. I understand that it is wrong to not say that, and how it lives in me is that is was a long time ago. Me going to those meetings are far more important than being concerned about feelings towards an ex GF. In the end, my GF decided that, because I'm not willing to meet her needs, she will withdraw all support and that I need to fend for myself. I tried to give options so we can work towards fulfilling both of our needs, but she remained rigid in demanding that I take her feelings serious. If I would compromise and give her what she wants, I would continue to see myself as the miserable sinner, the hopeless addict that is no good and have the fear that I give away part of what I care about most in my life. I explained that, if she decided to leave in the future, I would be left with two holes in my heart. However, she wasn't open to receive it. Work-out: day 16 Did my dumbbell workout. Walk: day 21 Took a walk with my GF and took an evening stroll before going to bed. Screentime: day 22 Spent 1 hour on Netflix, 40 minutes on Internet and 30 minutes on Whatsapp. Lying: day 19 It's really difficult to communicate in an open and objective way when a lot of deep feelings are involved. My GF showed me a video of a man who gave an example of truly listening to your partner. First you need to listen and ask a lot before you know the whole situation. When you know the deep meanings behind what someone says, you can take steps to approach the real problem. Meditation: day 112 I meditated for 15 minutes. 1 session. PMO Study: day 122 Read 'Out of the Doghouse'. The writer says that the only way out of an angry, vengeful partner, is to endure it and cut out your infidelity. Time will heal the wounds. Sleep: day 0 As said before, my GF and me spoke for almost 7 hours. Brought her home, cooked food and ate something, did my meditation + posts and went to bed late. No sugar: day 1 No sugar today. Want to have a 30 day streak now. Cold showers: day 23 The hot shower of 2 days ago ruined my appetite for cold. It was very cold at first, but I found out that it goes easiest if your spine and head are doused in cold water first.
