Hello everyone, I swore to myself I wasn’t going to post anything, but after spending the last two months reading everyone’s posts, and realizing that I’m not alone in this, I felt compelled to share my own story.. I’d like to start off and proudly say I’m 20 days without O.. although I have PM’d occasionally, but I always thought myself once I realized what I’m doing. I’m 24 years old and I’m a virgin.. not by choice, but because I’ve PMO’d since the start of puberty, I’ve suffered from ED my entire time through highschool and now college.. it makes me so depressed because all I want to do is have intercourse and least once I’d like to add that I’m recently coming to terms that I’m a very attractive man and I can easily have almost anyone I want.. it’s been told to me for years, but my confidence has been shot forever. I’ve never been able to walk up and pick up girls or guys (I’m bi) like I’ve always wanted to. I’m just so paranoid and scared they’re gonna wanna have sex and I can’t even get hard enough to stick it in.. I’ve had many opportunities an actual situation that I was in where I was supposed to perform and couldn’t.. I always make up some excuse like “oh I’m tired” “ or “I’ve had too much to drink” which is lame and old atp.. Being on here reading everyone’s stories, gave me the motivation to finally say no, and let these urges go so I can finally enjoy my life and be the sexually liberated person Ive always dreamt to be. I don’t know what more to say, but it feels good to get that off my chest.. my first goal was 30 days without O to anything & so far I only have 10 days to reach that goal.. Recently, it seems like I’ve been getting approached and spoken to by some of the most attractive people I’ve ever met, and they all want to have sex with me … I wanna have sex with them too but I know I’m not ready.. I can’t even make myself hard. I feel like such a loser. I never get morning wood, but I’m so horny all the time.. all day, all night.. lately I haven’t been able to go to sleep at a decent time & fine women & guys aren’t turning me on like I want them to.. I find these people so sexy and attractive but it just won’t turn me on.. what’s wrong with me??? When will this be over
Hello, It is difficult to say how long your PIED would last. I suggest you don't worry about your ED and having sex for a while (just say no always so there is no agony from ambiguity). Since your problem is ED, I suggest you do hard mode (no porn and no masturbation or sex either. Don't worry about any possible wet dreams) for 90 days and then test if you have morning wood and if you can get hard to sensation of your hand only without fantasy. If so, then you probably have rebooted enough to be ready for sex. Could take longer though, but don't worry about it. I think you also sound kind of obsessed over sex. I'm not here to judge you but I see you are suffering from it and would like to help. I think it would be good for your mind (and your sex life) that you also make an effort to not look at others sexually during the reboot process. This will make you less stressed and thinking less about sex over time, leading to a more satisfying sexual life for you (stress and sex-obsessiveness are a common major turnoff for women). One way you can do this is to avoid looking at the body parts of people in real life you are turned on by during the reboot. Don't look at porn substitutes (e.g. bikini photos of women on instagram etc.) they will not help you with your recovery, I guarantee you.
So update, today would’ve marked my 32nd day abstaining from O … but a particular movie scene had a sex scene and I kept replaying it back until I started stroking and eventually released.. I can’t say that I’m disappointed I’m actually proud of myself for making it this far.. and I’m confident in starting from day one and this time I went to abstain from P&M all together. I know I can do it. And I’m confident that this time around I’ll be able to see some changes in my life.. I must say I found myself becoming more confident in myself, and feel like I’m moving in the right direction! All this to say, if you were able to make it farther than you ever did before, focus on being proud of that accomplishment and start fresh! I feel amazing and that really felt great.. I know it technically is a relapse, but I’m still proud of how far I came and I’m more motivated and I was in the beginning to push through and cut off p moving forward!
Congrats! 32 days is already a very significant amount of healing time. As long as you don't binge relapse, that 32 days will help you on your next streaks. I think that was just a small slip (though you need to reset your counter if you have one) since it was not PMO, but it does set you back a tiny bit, so I would not not let it become a habit if I were you. Be mindful of the chaser effect (increased libido for few days after orgasm) to not return to PMO habits.
Do workouts at home, sleep early, wake up early, eat banana and food rich of protein and stop masturbation and porn. And your dream will come true
I’m a personal trainer I eat healthy every day and work out six days a week… I appreciate the advice truly, but that’s already my lifestyle lol
starting over again… One of my long time crushes reached out to me, and we had a conversation that didn’t end on a good note.. started overthinking and getting upset and ended up M to p for 2 hours … I’ll never get through this smh
I don't know if you noticed that or not, but men these days became so weak. We need to maintain some discipline and don't get weak towards any temptations.
You know, when I read successful stories with very high streaks, there is always a common factor among all of these people, it is "holding your lust, being patient with your desire". If these people surrendered to its cravings, they would never have reached that high streaks
So, if you wanna be like them, you have to control your cravings, your lust. And good luck with that mate
No problem man, just start again! These things happen to all of us. Good to hear that you have a fitness routine and eat healthy. That should help keep your energy levels up (though this can be a double-edged sword in a way as high energy levels can make you more horny). I am not sure what the life of a personal trainer is like but I would assume that there is more time to let your mind wander and may contain more triggers due to the attractive and looks-focused people you meet. If this is true (and maybe even if it isn't), then avoiding triggers alone may not be enough for you. I wrote about a strategy that worked for me to get my first long streak in another thread in response to another user: I suggest you think about getting an Accountablilty Partner (or more than one) to share the journey with. Having APs makes me not want to let them down and it has helped me so far much better than just doing everything myself (though I have managed to improve myself a lot during almost 4 years of being completely alone with this but that required special circumstances and environment to work for me). If you decide to do this, I suggest you commit to come to this site every day to message your APs. I think you should avoid any mental work on romantic relationships while rebooting for your first time since you are not in one already. The reboot will make your life more difficult before it makes it better, and during the tough times you do not need this drama and the obsessive thinking that goes along with it. Take the attitude to and train yourself to ignore any romantic or sexual prospects. You should accept that you are not ready for them right now (because of the ED in particular) and that you should not think about them. Engaging in these things will strongly stir up your desires one way or an other. You will not lose much at all regarding opportunities by doing this and will gain a lot. Focus your social mind on friendship only until you are sufficiently rebooted (no more ED and less obsessiveness with sex and relationships) to avoid loneliness. This might sound like I am being harsh, but it is actually very pleasant to do the reboot this way. In my opinion, friendship is essential and beautiful, and romance is just extra. If you want more advice or encouragement, you can message me. I am committed to being here at least once per day to answer my messages - at least until I reach 90 days of my hard mode streak.
