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I don't trust myself anymore

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023.

  1. Jul 9, 2023 #1
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    I trust myself anymore, I just don't know when I'm going to just feel very sexual and just start masturbating. After the realisation that masturbating to a person is immoral as the person you are masturbating to probably doesn't want you to do that, I stopped masturbating until I masturbated to a person but I forced myself real hard not to and I understood what the effects would be.... But I've done it for the 2nd time now.. In my opinion 1st time is more acceptable because I didn't know how devastating it would be. But now I know and I've done it for the 2nd time. I just don't trust myself anymore, and I'm scared and what I'll do. The other thing is I'm not feeling as much guilt this time which is annoying me because my brain thinks it's fine and I'll get over it so it doesn't matter. I just don't know what's going to happen to me.
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    #1
  2. Jul 9, 2023 #2
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    I just wish I could disappear from the world.
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    #2
  3. Jul 9, 2023 #3
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    I'VE DONE IT AGAIN NOW FOR THE 3RD TIME. I'M SO HORRIBLE :( I feel like a psychopath, I just don't feel like I care :(
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    #3
  4. Jul 9, 2023 #4
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    I've really screwed up now haven't I
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 9, 2023
    #4
  5. Jul 10, 2023 #5
    Tiburon727

    Tiburon727 Fapstronaut

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    I will not say it is right, but I will say you are not alone. You are not alone.

    Show compassion toward yourself. It is a mistake but one that does not define your self worth and who you are.

    I will say the sooner you work on this the better. But take a loving approach. Beating yourself up will do no good. Forgiving yourself and being kind to you will do a lot more good toward recovery than you can imagine.
     
    Tiburon727, Jul 10, 2023
    Tiburon727, Jul 10, 2023
    #5
  6. Jul 10, 2023 #6
    Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Tiburon727 is absolutely right.

    This shit talking about yourself is just the worst thing you can do. Yes you relapsed and gave in to your urges and whatever, but stop giving yourself so much shit and try to make it a bit more goal driven with positivity.

    Be grateful to reach 1 day, 2 days, 3 days, 4 days etc. We're all struggling and you are not the only person to go through this.
     
    Roffelaar, Jul 10, 2023
    Roffelaar, Jul 10, 2023
    #6
    KevinesKay likes this.
  7. Jul 11, 2023 #7
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your honest answers :)
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 11, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 11, 2023
    #7
  8. Jul 15, 2023 #8
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    NO NO NO I'VE DONE IT AGAIN. AND TO A FAMOUS PERSON I'LL NEVER FORGET NEVER I CANT STOP I HAVE TO ALWAYS RUIN IT I HATE MYSELF
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    #8
  9. Jul 15, 2023 #9
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHO THE PERSON WAS ASWELL
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    #9
  10. Jul 15, 2023 #10
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    DONE IT FOR THE 5TH TIME HOW CAN I JUST NOT BEAt MYSELF UP ABOUT THIS
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    #10
  11. Jul 15, 2023 #11
    Aaaandddddd

    Aaaandddddd Fapstronaut

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    I'm a monster
     
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    Aaaandddddd, Jul 15, 2023
    #11

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