The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Brother I'm a Buddihist. In my leisure time, Sometimes I serach some information about other religions. In Buddhism, Our monks says that Lust isn't good for our spiritual life. Majority of men and women don't engage sex before marriage in our country.So I felt bad after that because I couldn't control my mind at that moment

 

Day 14. II.

I am tempted. It's bad. It's very very bad. I feel weak to fight.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on September 16th.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 14.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee. No caffeine at all.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

20 days
Low urges in general, but start to have some urges. I start to notice them when I'm lack of focusing in my job. But tryhing to manage it
With more project in my life where this addiction doesn't fit
Keep strong my brothers.

 

Chilling at Buckland with Bilbo. What a nice guy. He gave me the sting blade.

Day 1 = Completed

 

Day 20, trod on!

 

Day 2

 

Haven't posted for a few days now. It was a hectic couple of days.
Day 138.

 

Day 92

 

Day 4!

 

Fellowship, I messed up. Each day for the last 4 days.
Even when I told myself "I am not going to do it again" I did it again.
Even after 140 days, my addiction was alive and well, looking for an opportunity to act out.
I am going to reflect on how I messed up, and come up with a strategy to not repeat this mistake today.

 

Let's go, keep yourself busy with other things

 

Don't worry,

Keep motivated

You will reach there, just ponder and correct things next time.

 

Day 21, trod on!

 

Day 15.

I don't want to write. I would like to pmo instead of writing here. I don't understand how am I feeling, so I'll just let the thoughts go... Semi-conscious writing I guess...

Bit tired. Done load of chores. I am a weird person. Sometimes I procrastinate stuff for half a year, which can be done in several minutes, like glueing the trembly drawer. Lots of stuff left for today and tomorrow. Also, I'll need to go to the shop to buy some white sport socks -- I can't imagine any other colour to wear in Greek islands. Those who have been there will probably understand. I don't think I'll need them often -- barefoot in sandals is fine. I love a summer!

15 days. Seems not much, but lots of work went into that. Quite a few serious battles won. Abstaining for me is not easy. I was mostly working at home. Also, in essence I am stepping into vacations, so it will be even more difficult. Also, I finished my studies. Lots of time on my hands. So there is this dilemma, how to achieve rest, but also how to not lose good habits. I'll try to invest more time into stuffs I like -- friends, sports, cooking, traveling... Also, later I am planning to resharpen my IT skills -- just in case... Reading... Yes... Reading... I have to finish those LOTR books this summer. But I think I have to reread "The fellowship of the ring" first.

Of course my brain or addiction, or demons, or whatever... try to convince me that abstaining from pmo is not possible to me, that I am fighting windmills, that I'll never be pure, that even if I reach long streak, I'll fail, that I have no control, that I am an addict forever, that it's just a matter of time until the streak is ruined, that I have no free will, that I am deceived, that only those, whose sex-drive is dead can do this, that I pmo'ed for too long to get out of this, that I am just torturing myself for no reason, that I am misinterpreting the scriptures, that it's already not perfect because I still see women in public from time to time, that I'll get sick doing such things, that I am just missing pleasure for no reason, that I am just pushing myself into depression or other mental problems, that I am a gullible fool, that other men are pmo'ing and they seem fine, that it's just a scheme for annoying Youtubers to get attention and boost their channels, that I am missing out, that there is no way that cortex could win against amygdala, that it's JUST not possible to me...

I think it's enough. Let's just push those thoughts (probably lies of the demons) away and enjoy blue summer skies...

I am serving God. Word "obedience" is key. I'll have to find a way no matter how difficult this "no pmo" thing seems.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on September 16th.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 15.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee. No caffeine at all.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.