Relapse After 36 days. Advice?

Same thing happened to me this weekend. Went 36 days. I’ve done longer streaks in the past, but at some point it gets more difficult. I think part is we get complacent. We think we beat it, let down our guard, reduce the good habits, and then it strikes when we don’t expect it.

I think recovery has to be sustained. It’s about building good habits instead of PMO. For me, I do reduce those into a streak. And I know I shouldn’t.

IMO, the easiest way to beat an urge to peek (and then PMO) is to say no right away. If you indulge it all, it’s a lot harder to resist. For me, I peeked on day 33, and then PMO’d on day 36. To say no right away, you have to always expect it, which is hard and tiring, but it’s necessary.

 

I got a nice 31 day steak under my belt as of this morning. I was getting ready for work and had some morning coffee to get the day going. As a side note, caffeine is a dangerous thing if you’re trying to keep a lid on your sex drive. Just after I finished shaving and brushing my teeth the urge hit like a freight train; so I MO’d and cleaned the pipes rather quickly. And you know what? It’s okay. I had an entire month under my belt so I’m not going to worry about it. I reset my counter on my phone and carried on; no brain fog, no chaser, just a quick release of some saved up product.

Had this been a few years ago I would have definitely chased it and most certainly felt the negative effects. My voice is still full and grounded. My eyes are still crystallized and sharp, and my face isn’t all round and wankerish like it might have been in the old days when I’d be on a binge. The process is the process and that’s the way it goes.

 

Writing a long note to yourself on your phone helps: read it when you feel like relapsing. When you're feeling pretty good – you trick yourself into thinking that it's not a big deal and you've got a hold of it now. I've made this mistake 4 times now. Each time sending me back to the flatline and severe PIED.

What's worked for me lately is how I view porn has changed. I never used to see it the same way I see drugs. I thought it was an addiction but just a slightly harmful one. Now I see it as just as harmful as some drugs. I take it more seriously as it literally shut down my penis, sex drive, and lust for life – and it took many many months to get it back. That's a big deal. So I'd say to write a long note to yourself that relapsing is a terrible idea and you know it will only result in a quick cheap dopamine blast – and then slower recovery to get back the life that you want. Don't beat yourself up over the relapse. We've all done it!