Please suggest how to stop the chatterbox in my head that leads to relapse.

Everthing_will_be_alright · May 15, 2023

I relapsed watching P (web series in my case) after approximately 4.5 months. It was a great achievement, and I learned a lot during this period. Reading books on this addiction really helped me become aware of many things. However, it's really shameful for me to impulsively go back to my university from my hometown during the semester break just for the sake of relapse. The thought of going to university to relapse lingered in my mind for a week."

I could have avoided the relapse by doing M only. I have a strict rule of not M-ing more than once a month."

The days before I went back to university or before the relapse, I felt like shit. The compulsiveness to watch P was high. I behaved like an animal that cannot control its impulsiveness. My mind was wild and not calm at all. Without P, my mind is more calm and peaceful. My brain feels invaded by something during the days before the relapse. I was even searching for P during travelling in public transport, which goes against my values and morals."

The first trigger is the boredom after the semester break. During the semester, I was busy with work, but during the break, the daily routine made me really bored repeating the same thing daily.

The second trigger is isolation. I was with my family during the semester break; however, talking with my parents and siblings was very limited due to their busy work days. Besides, I also have very few friends. I had good friends during high school, but they all went to different universities. At my university, I have a few friends, but we are not very close. I'm trying to expand my social life, but i don't know how.

The third trigger is fantasizing about having sex. I noticed that this thought started to grow day by day due to my NoFap. The fantasizing is kind of autopilot and not something I purposely did. This is a clear indication that my body is suggesting to release my semen, but that does not mean I have to watch something fake in the pixels.

There is always a quick and sharp thought that suddenly appears in my head, suggesting a relapse to P due to a new video release. But a new video release does not mean something completely new. Their format and story are always the same, which is unethical and immoral. Besides, they use the objectification of women, which again goes against my morals. I will try very hard to distract and ignore this thought, but every time, the thought keeps getting bigger and bigger. Please suggest ways to silence this chatterbox in my head.

Caveat Emptor · May 15, 2023

I don’t think you can really silence it. You can ignore it. But ignoring that voice is probably the hardest part of quitting an addiction. It’s always there, making little suggestions. (Maybe that girl has a new video! Have you ever consider this other porn genre? Etc. Etc.) I hate that stupid voice.

Probably the best thing you can do is meditation and mindfulness exercises. On my first really long streak, I did 20 minutes of unguided meditation every morning and every night. Just me sitting with my eyes closed, trying not to move, and spending all my mental energy and focus on my breath, for 20 minutes, twice a day. That was my mediation routine, but any regular meditation/mindfulness routine will make it easier to ignore the voice.

I have some more simple, less time consuming methods.

rubber bands. Put a rubber band on your wrist, and pull it back everytime that voice pipes up. And keep doing it until the voice stops. It’s painful, but harmless. And will help quiet that voice.

Physical exercise. Do push ups, or jumping jacks, everytime that voice speaks up. And keep going until it shuts up.

Talk back to the voice! Criticize it! Tell it how stupid and wrong it is. Make fun of it. Disparage it. Minimize it. That will reduce its power over you.

Confront the voice in the mirror. Just look yourself in the eyes in the mirror, and, if you’d like, talk back to the voice here. I’ve done this before and it can be quite an emotional experience.

The voice can’t yell at you indefinitely forever. It needs a break sometimes. You just have to outlast it and these are some ways to do so.

I hope you find some of these helpful.

lekasenor · May 18, 2023

I haven't watched porn in over 4 years and haven't PMO'd in nearly 5. There are a variety of tools that have helped me. I think the first 30 days are always the hardest. It is during this time that you have to be hyper vigilant for most of the month. You have to starve the beast in a way. Set your life up so there's no room to use it. Stay out of the house, be around others, schedule as much as you can so there's no time for it. This way, you're so preoccupied, the thoughts can't take over. And you'll be too tired when you go to bed. Another thing is do not FEED the imagery. So be careful what you look at on social media. This is an addiction that feeds on triggering imagery. So protect your eyes from things that could lead to craving more. Physical exercise, prayer/meditation, spirituality helps tremendously. You need to put that extra energy somewhere. You also need time away from it. After 3-6 months, the cravings really die down. I sometimes go months without even thinking about it. But it always comes back. However, the longer you go, the less power it has. You just have to get protocols in place for when there are "flare ups."
Other tools: hypnosis, energy work, yoga, relaxation, date, find a real life partner. I could write more but that's all I have time for tonight.

Rostrock47 · May 19, 2023

Everthing_will_be_alright said: ↑

I relapsed watching P (web series in my case) after approximately 4.5 months. It was a great achievement, and I learned a lot during this period. Reading books on this addiction really helped me become aware of many things. However, it's really shameful for me to impulsively go back to my university from my hometown during the semester break just for the sake of relapse. The thought of going to university to relapse lingered in my mind for a week."

I could have avoided the relapse by doing M only. I have a strict rule of not M-ing more than once a month."

The days before I went back to university or before the relapse, I felt like shit. The compulsiveness to watch P was high. I behaved like an animal that cannot control its impulsiveness. My mind was wild and not calm at all. Without P, my mind is more calm and peaceful. My brain feels invaded by something during the days before the relapse. I was even searching for P during travelling in public transport, which goes against my values and morals."

The first trigger is the boredom after the semester break. During the semester, I was busy with work, but during the break, the daily routine made me really bored repeating the same thing daily.

The second trigger is isolation. I was with my family during the semester break; however, talking with my parents and siblings was very limited due to their busy work days. Besides, I also have very few friends. I had good friends during high school, but they all went to different universities. At my university, I have a few friends, but we are not very close. I'm trying to expand my social life, but i don't know how.

The third trigger is fantasizing about having sex. I noticed that this thought started to grow day by day due to my NoFap. The fantasizing is kind of autopilot and not something I purposely did. This is a clear indication that my body is suggesting to release my semen, but that does not mean I have to watch something fake in the pixels.

There is always a quick and sharp thought that suddenly appears in my head, suggesting a relapse to P due to a new video release. But a new video release does not mean something completely new. Their format and story are always the same, which is unethical and immoral. Besides, they use the objectification of women, which again goes against my morals. I will try very hard to distract and ignore this thought, but every time, the thought keeps getting bigger and bigger. Please suggest ways to silence this chatterbox in my head.
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Turn to Jesus Christ, He will guide you through tough times. Good luck...

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Please suggest how to stop the chatterbox in my head that leads to relapse.

Everthing_will_be_alright Fapstronaut

Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

lekasenor Fapstronaut

Rostrock47 Fapstronaut

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