Holy crap. Failed already.

yea so in my first 24 hours, i jacked of for an hour or 2, and then again after waking up (had to finish the movies i was watching yesterday). im pretty sure my record is just 3-4 days, or maybe it was like a week, after i was in a horrible car crash and in the hospital a few days and then put on bedrest at home. and these only happen when im in some kind of situation where im never alone or distracted by something else (new video game, binging a few seasons of a TV show, etc). i do have a female friend who i play with from time to time (I couldn't hard mode if my mother's life depended on it). i have ridiculous libido. i feel like thats my issue. i dont get the irritability syptoms and stuff (not like i've ever made a long haul or anything) when i or sexual problems besides pretty bad DE (like 30-45 minutes) but ive got no problem at all getting it up or doing the do besides the DE. when i actually real life it, i usually dont even have a sexual thought for 2 days, maybe 3. when i 'bate, i feel bad because i usually basically marathon til im physically unable anymore.

that was pretty scatterbrained but my point is, I know im a stone cold addict to PMO. i have been masturbating for orgasm since i think 8, was the first time i came and have been playing with my noodle as long as i rember. i discovered porn around 10, and back then it was nothing too bad besides like googling naked pictures or things like that. over time i got to a point where still pictures dont do it for me, and if i do use those i'll inevitably just go to movies instead. I masturbate something like once or twice daily, it's nothing to me just passes a few minutes and feels kinda nice, y'know? i have used masturbation as a sleep aid countless times. I have masturbated at a friends house before, on an air matress when everybody was asleep) i realized i had a problem when i was 'bating AT WORK. (im on a computer from when i clock in to when i clock out). and ive PMOd at work quite a few times, i sometimes get left there alone for hours on end, and i do not even a bit of self control on the computer. in fact i just downloaded OpenDNS from the "tips" section for my personal laptop.

um.... yea so im going to set a goal for a week and probably not make it, but now that im here i know i will feel worse than EVER when the reset comes. any tips/adive/ what have you??

 

a) i feel completely stupid realizing of all the things on earth, my addiction is masturbating
b) im interested in seeing if "abstaining" really does dramatically boost my mood and all that jazz
c) id rather not be discovered fapping at work or something one day in the future.