day 11, What is working for me, i wanted to share

dated a girl for six years. struggled a different times during relationship with porn.Bored in the bedroom but also noticed i was having orgasm hangovers. At the time i did not realize how much energy is spent getting to orgasm for both people leaving me irritable, tired, unloving and pushing her away only to come back 7 days later after i had recharged. needless to say we took some months apart but recently we have been hanging out.
The only rule i made for the bedroom was the i did not want to ejaculate because i realized how terrible i felt after for a couple of days ( anxiety, no confidence, fear, depression, no energy) basically it did not matter if i masturbated to porn or if i had sex with her it was still the same terrible feeling afterward.
So i opened up to her about my goals of No PMO and she is supporting me. basically we have been practicing Karezza
Its beens 11 days since i have had sex with orgasm. I have been practing karezza with her for 2 nights. both nights were extremely long about 3 hours a piece. And let me tell you guys

I am feeling amazing.
Almost zero anxiety around any body, i have been making conversation with anyone i see
I have a great deal of confidence when talking to people.
I great sense of mental clarity.
I Have energy for days.
very little if at all interest in porn or masturbation


Basically it has changed my whole world. I only share this to say that if you have a Significant other that you can open up to and practice karezza with then this could work for you as well.
anyways if you have any questions or comments please get at me. we are all in this booby trap of porn/masturbation together.

 

no faphoffy- karezza traditional means really slow, playful intercourse with out either person coming to an orgasm as i understand it. I also understand, that karezza can be what ever you make it to be ( as with anything). If you google karezza it can give you a run down on the whole thing but one a little more about karezza to help you understand the meaning behind it. Porn is a culture of orgasms and with orgasm comes the intention to "mate" so to speak (although contraception may be used). So when you goal is to orgasm and plant your seed so to speak you are doing what your biology tells you to do that is " look for women you find attractive and make babies ( or fake make babies). NOW, if you take away the orgasm component of intercourse it then becomes a bonding experience. You go can for hours just loving each other and enjoying each moment for what it is and not humping away and be done in 2 1/2 minutes which is the average time (according to some website) that it takes for a male to ejaculate during intercourse. hope this helps

Muesli- i understand your sadness, but do not be alarmed. Although karezza is working right now, i dont think karezza is a forever thing. From what i am experiencing... i think karezza is something we should all practice, at the same time i think from time to time ( to each its on ) there is definitely a place in this world for O's and plenty of them.

Getting Real- i think that is a wonderful explanation.

There are some great videos about sex/intercourse/love/karezza on Ted.com , yourbrainonporn.com and others. I have watched several. i am having trouble locating the ones i want to share but i will post asap.

 

well its been 22 days now. the first 10 with with karezza, these last 12 have been hardmode. Mostly because my girlfriend/exgirlfriend what ever we are really enjoyed karezza but does not like that i do not O.

My emotions have fluctuated alot more since not having karezza. I am not giving in tho. I have to say i am feeling very excited that this habit of porn is slipping away day by day. I also have to say that for me it really has not been hard to "Get away" from porn for a while meaning a couple weeks or even months. I have done "quit" on my own a different periods in my life;however, its when shit happens like my girlfriend and i at the time get in a string of fights or my football coaches in college were leaning into me about effort or executing a play, its those windows of emotional distress that late at night or just when i am alone at some point in the day i will say " hey, why dont i just take a small look at porn and rub one out, it will feel great!". Then slowly but surely i would spiral back in to this awful life of daily porn use and masturbation. I would like to leave this porn behind forever. So far for 22 days in I have noticed
-increase in energy
-emotional roller coaster but much more straightline coaster than before giving up pmo
-my hair seems to look alot more healthy

I usually do some sort of exercise every day weather it be jump-ropes and push ups, or hot yoga, or a light jog.

So do the benefits i have reaped come from not pmo ing? maybe ? or maybe not? i dont know who much it matters but i am going to roll with it. and keep rolling.

There is a great book on being vulnerable an it talks alot about SHAME. It has hit me deep and i have realized how much shame i have been carrying around because of PMO and so many other things. I have found it to be extremely therapeutic.

The Book is called "Daring Greatly" by Brene' Brown.

anyways, love you guys/girls,
thanks for support. This nafap website has changed my life