is this a relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by recoome, Oct 9, 2015.

  1. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    1,331
    1,164
    143
    at work a colleague gave a pendrive since he didnt have laptop n wanted to check the date of pendrive. he said if i wanted any movies(non porn) i could copy in my laptop.

    while the movies were being copied the friend went away, so secretly i checked the other videos. my hope was for them to be porn. but they werent. so i didnt see porn, but i'm not sure if its a relapse...since i did open the files expecting them to be porn.
     
  2. Sixx

    Sixx Fapstronaut

    7
    6
    3
    Bro, It's A Relapse. The Temptation Took Over You, And You Opened Them, In Hope Of Porn. Stay Strong Brother, You Can Do This! The Porn Industry Is Gross, Women With Overly Large Lips, Old Sweaty Men. Do You Enjoy This? I Don't. Not Anymore.
     
  3. iborntobefree

    iborntobefree Fapstronaut

    143
    177
    43
    I wouldn't take it as a relapse. You've had luck, not finding anything, even if you gave in to your curiosity or whatever your reason was to look at it. Practically you have seen no porn.
     
    snake88 and recoome like this.
  4. BALLZEYE

    BALLZEYE Fapstronaut

    12
    3
    3
    I agree with iborntobefree. You haven't relapsed
     
    recoome likes this.
  5. ichabodcr

    ichabodcr Fapstronaut

    I wouldn't count that as a relapse. Anyway beware... I don't know about you, but in my nofap journey i've learnt how to recognize a dopamine rush induced by desire and anticipation of fap-related activities.

    I've learnt to beware of that feeling. You've got to be careful, I can only speak about myself, but to me that is the start of a vicious cycle that I find really hard to stop.

    If I let my mind wander, and go down familiar fap-paths... I can actually feel my head spinning, a big rush. When I'm in that state, I either fight it or cave in and end up PMOing...

    Even if I manage to fight it, I' ve found out that once that one of these "episodes" occur it can literally take days to get rid of the urge, and most of the times they end up getting stronger and stronger until a full blown relapse takes place.

    So, the best approach for me is to avoid all of that. As you said, you consciously went in search of porn on your colleagues hard drive. That's like ringing the bell in the classic Pavlov's experiment. Avoid ever ringing the porn bell and it'll be much easier to avoid relapsing.

    Best of luck.
     
    Red_Eyed_Jedi and recoome like this.
  6. Phyzik

    Phyzik Fapstronaut

    171
    208
    43
    You searched for porn on purpose = you activated sensitized pathways in your brain = technically, this is a relapse.

    However, what I see is that you've been given a second chance. You were lucky enough that those files were not porn. If I were you, I wouldn't reset the counter but I'd seriously question what just happened and how I could prevent this from happening again.

    Don't be too hard on yourself.
     
    recoome likes this.
  7. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    1,331
    1,164
    143
    i reset it. the ocd was bothering me very much...sorry.
     
  8. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    2,176
    1,740
    143
    It's not a relapse. Don't punish for yourself for this. Did you see porn? No. Did you masturbate? No. Did you orgasm? No. Therefore you did not PMO, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. However I think you need to be careful of such behavior in future (in trying to find porn), for the concern pertaining to which has been shown in the responses, but this is not a relapse.
     
    recoome likes this.
  9. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I agree with most of the comments above - this is not a relapse buddy. You can go back into your counter and correct the reset. Sure, there are lessons to be learnt here about searching for triggering material, but that is not the same as PMO.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 9, 2015
    recoome likes this.
  10. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    1,331
    1,164
    143
    I was in for only 1 day so i might as well let it be. else if i put counter back to one day, n if i manage to goal of 40 days, then the ocd voice will say...oh yeah but you relapsed that day.