9 months hardmode but don’t see any changes

Two years without PMO and still stuck in this?! Is your issue due to porn? Have you made any psychological progress?

 

This
My concern is that general lack of enjoyment in life. I'm like functional zombie.
My wife says it's normal that people in 40s aren't horny or excited as those in 20s, but this much?

I'm betting on anhedonia as the result of all those years of over exciting my brain, as one of the symptoms of it is the loss of libido...

Also the thing I've noticed is that i get very tired very quickly if i get over stimulated by any exciting activity, like playing on playstation.

As I'm a great advocate of natural remedies, I've read that st. John's wort could help with anhedonia so I'll try that

 

I just completed 2 years of no pmo. So my fair share of experience with paws and anhedonia is that,
Paws and anhedonia and sleep issues were extremely prevalent during the first 1.6 yrs.
After that, most of my paws symptoms cleared up including anhedonia. And even sleep issues have seemed to resolved about 80%. But if i fuck up my sleep schedule, i start to feel like shit. So i make sure i sleep 7.5-8 hrs. And crash before 2. If i happen to sleep after 2, it would cause problems.

And jus like you, i have loss of libido since 21 and i started my recovery at 30(2years back). I can remember how instuggled with anhedonia. For someone who has a passion for movies. I lost that. I couldn't enjoy anything. But slowly the cloud started to lift. So all i would say is...hang in there...you will recover from it.

And the comment about libido being tame in 40s. Your wife is trying to be supportive. But in all honesty, if you're with a women....you will be horny.

A guy in his teen and 20s will be horny regardless of being with a girl or not. Guys in 40s might not feel horny all the time but a healthy guy in good shape will feel horny around girls! At least around the girl who is interested in him.

 

That's a great progress. Just hang in there buddy. Its all about brain conditioning and how much starved you are for flesh of women and sex.

We jus overloaded it with porn for decades. At least in my case. So to get to normal levels. We have to starve ourselves. And it would take maybe more than 2-3 years.

the brain needs to re calibratebbased on our new lifestyle and attain homestatis and for the neuro receptors to recover.

Jus like you ...even i am not automatic from the age of 21-22. Ever since pied kicked in. Been reliant on oral ever since. So if you could attain solid erections with low dose and oral.
You are retraining your brain to get erect only to a real woman forming or restoring old pathways.

But once libido is resorted....I think everything would fall into place. Libido is the master key in the process of recovery. It was the last to go..And i believe it will be the last to come back.

 

Thank you! Appreciate it!

I bumped into porn when i was 12, through CDs. And it was on rare occasions. From 13-15, would watch whenever I had the house to myself. Still, not often. And around 15, i quit watching it for 3-6 months. I knew it was immoral and was affection me. But a loser friend of mine, managed to manipulate me back into it...was too naive to understand that he didn't want me to be better.
16-18, moved up to DVDs and the frequency increased but still didn't have room for myself. So i would still use it only when i was alone. But i started having a collection of about 40-60 DVDs.

Then at 18 got my own laptop and wifi(shitty slow speed internet) and my had privacy in my room.
Frequency really sky rocketed and at the same time i faced some trauma from 18-21. So it really became my outlet to cope and as well hitting a landmine of porn. I was wreaking havoc on my brain. And at 21-22 i got pied,pe, broken refractory period and loss of libido and other array of ailments.

From 21-30, had no clue that it was pied and by then watching porn became autonomous. Because i was a collector of things and i started collecting porn even if i didn't watch everything.
(25, i came across this site, yet I was too ignorant to take it serious and follow up with it )

From 21-30, i deteriorated drastically.
Until 26, i was able to get erections with oral and at least getting 70% MW most mornings. Used to manage sex life with MW having morning sex. But around 27-28 iost even that. And at 29, i started failing to even get erect or stay erect after oral. Would lose after i was inside my exgf.
And by then i was mature enough and not as naive i used to be. And realised it was the porn and all this time it was pied and not some physical issue and it was time to cut this shit. Sadly, i was never into alcohol, drugs or tobacco.. because i was brought up that way. Sadly, my mother wasnt aware of this and couldn't impart the knowledge or instill the harms of it in me. And the moment it dawned on me. I jus walked away and never looked back.

Started my journey at 30. And here I am now!

 

I'm also very touchy about my sleep: i do sleep ok but i need to go to sleep at most at 22h and have at least 8h of sleep. If i miss that and start to feel tired, i have almost always rebound or at least had a strong desire to rebound. It's like i would get urge to ease myself of uncomfort of tiredness by feeling of excitement i get from watching porn

I know she's being supportive but i agree with you: a guy with normal libido should feel horny around women. I've been paying a lot of attention to that as it's something I've rarely experienced in my life in general and have tested if I'm maybe gay or not into women but result is that I'm just not into real life situations. Interesting thing is that when i started to abstain from porn, I've started to experience rare situations of staring to feel excited by some women when i would feel comfortable just looking at them for longer time without them knowing, like when we are in a train. It's like i have to be super relaxed and feel safe just to enjoy the view and then it can work, but as i said, that feeling is very fragile and lasts very shortly as my mind floats away and definitely doesn't work on vast majority of women, just on really really interesting ones (very very rare).

Question for all: how old are you and can you get horny by any ok or better looking women?

It seams like my loss of libido is combination of general numbness, poor concentration and underlaying feeling of shame where those three states fortify each other. I do remember that i had a really good progress a year ago when i was mediating daily for about 4 months, but i lost the time and space to do it so I've stopped it completely

 

I could totally relate to the no memory or congitive function during uni....it happ with me too, i couldnt believe that i became so dumb during my uni. Until high school i was among the top 10 students, though in grade 11 and 12 I had a very slight dip in my performance. But in uni, i became the opp, the brain fog was like the mist in Stephen king's book. Good god, i thought I had lost my academic potential. Uni didn't end on a high note.

And i can totally relate on the "lonely" teenager. That's where things start to fail for us. If only we had a good support system and a healthy environment.

Don't worry brother. You got this. You seem to be self reflecting well. And know what should be done. Even i had the same mindset that my 30s and beyond should be without this filth. And if am going to still crave for sex and lust over, its going to be only with a REAL girl(gf).

YOU GOT THIS BUDDY!! STAY STRONG!

 

If you check out podcasts by Andrew Huberman lab, a neuroscientist, where he invited Dr. Matthew Walker, a sleep scientist to talk about the importance of sleep. One fact is that, when you are sleep deprived, you tend to do things which you're not supposed to..like eating more sugary or high fat foods because or you tend to make impulsive decisions. Like, bad sleep=destination fucked!

I'd advise to continue doing it at least 15 mins a day. And jus stay the course of abstinence and starve yourself. You'll definitely feel the drive towards women.

 

I want to update my current state: the tough period has passed and i feel much more relaxed. Also I'm taking regularly saw palmetto, african pear/plum (acryodes edulis) and zinc supplements and have morning wood and have started to feel a bit horny. I had sex yesterday with my wife and although i was tired i didn't have any problems but the opposite: i was hard and concentrated and horny all the way and it was great in every aspect.
Looking back how i felt last few months i can only say to all: endure men, it will get better!

 

How are you my friend ?

 

Thanks for asking, I'm ok. It was "just" a tough period. I sometimes do feel horny but it has to pass around a week to get full into mood. Maybe it's the how old I'm (40) so my lowered libido is normal? Anyway, my wife is OK with having sex once in a week or two, so everything is OK

 

do you have premature ejaculation ?do you get up willing? do you take time to sleep?

 

if you want to give a try...

Brewer's yeast every day
half a liter of chamomile flower tea (it has to be from the flower, it produces gaba, it turn off your cerebro when you need)
2 spoons of the shake bellow

shake
250gr green banana flour
250gr Sesame
250gr wheat germ
250gr apple fiber
250gr oatmeal flour
this shake you dont need repeat forever(everey 4 or 6 months or when you need) its not good, you can mix with a juice, the taste is not so good.

this is a recipe from a brazilian researcher, called tiago Rocha, he is from my country, if you want to research it, he is on youtube too, it is not a recipe that I take anymore, but it helped me a lot, I am not referring to ED, because my ed problem is another, if you want to try it, it costs almost no money, at least here in my country