October 6 Daily Reflections FACING OURSELVES . . . . and Fear says, "You dare not look!" TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49 How often I avoided a task in my drinking days, just because it appeared so large! Is it any wonder even if I have been sober for some time, that I will act that same way when faced with what appears to be a monumental job, such as a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself? What I discover after I have arrived at the other side--when my inventory is completed--is that the illusion was greater than the reality. The fear of facing myself kept me at a standstill and, until I became willing to put pencil to paper, I was arresting my growth based on an intangible. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Is it my desire to be a big shot in A.A.? Do I always want to be up front in the limelight? Do I feel that nobody else can do as good a job as I can? Or am I willing to take a seat in the back row once in a while and let somebody else carry the ball? Part of the effectiveness of any A.A. group is the development of new members to carry on, to take over, from the older members. Am I reluctant to give up authority? Do I try to carry the load for the whole group? If so, I am not being fair to the newer members. Do I realize that no one person is essential? Do I know that A.A. could carry on without me, if it had to? Meditation For The Day The Unseen God can help to make us truly grateful and humble. Since we cannot see God, we must believe in Him without seeing. What we can see clearly is the change in a human being, when he sincerely asks God for the strength to change. We should cling to faith in God and in His power to change our faith in God and in His power to change our ways. Our faith in all Unseen God will be rewarded by a useful and serviceable life. God will not fail to show us the way we should live. When in real gratitude and true humility we turn to Him.. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may believe that God can change me. I pray that I may be always willing to be changed for the better. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It To Lighten Our Burden, p.277 Only one consideration should qualify our desire for a complete disclosure of the damage we have done. That will arise where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are making amends. Or--quite as important--other people. We cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband. It does not lighten our burden when we recklessly make the crosses of others heavy. ******************************** In making amends, we should be sensible, tactful, considerate, and humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people, we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone. 1. 12 & 12, p.86 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.83 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places By Their fruits Inventory. An old saying reminds us that the value of any spiritual effort can be measured by how well it work: "A good tree is known by its fruits." By that standard, the 12 Step movement fares very well. Its life-changing work has won consistent praise and has had continuous success ever since it became known to the public. We can apply that same statement to new ideas as they appear in our lives. If somebody has suggestions or advice, we might ask how well such ideas are working out for them. We would not take investment advice, for example, from someone who had repeatedly lost money. We should always be wary of ideas that go counter to the basic principles of our program. some people may invite us to share their resentments, for example, but we have no obligation to do so. We will be even less inclined to do so when we look at the results they're getting from their resentments, Evaluating ideas "by their fruits" is a good test. I'll be careful to look at all the facts in connection with any idea presented today. I have a right to judge everything by results. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people. ---Virginia Woolf Working the Twelve Steps helps us learn the truth. As we struggle with Step Four, we learn the truth about ourselves. We learn even more about ourselves by doing Steps Eight and Ten. When we admit the truth about ourselves, things come into focus. Big changes happen. As a result, we can see other people more clearly. We see bad sides in people we thought were prefect. We see good sides in people we hated. We start to know that everyone has to work hard to find what’s right for them. No one knows all the answers. In short, we begin to trust others also who also are looking for the truth. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me clearly see myself and others. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think about how doing Step Ten keeps me clear about what’s going on in my life. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right direction is ours for the taking. Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks. Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior, our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make. The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to the message within and the strength to go forth as directed. Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right action is always, and forever, as close as myself. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES At first, some of us did not believe we needed this help. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking. But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives. When we do that, we find it solves our problems too; the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing. We urge you to try our program, for nothing will be so helpful to your husband as the radically changed attitude toward him which God will show you how to have. Go along with you husband if you possibly can. p. 116 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories Crossing The River Of Denial She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it. One morning while I was at work, a hospital called, telling me to get there quickly. My father was there, dying of alcoholism. He was sixty. I had seen him in the hospitals before, but this time was different. With stomach sorely distended, swollen with fluids his nonfunctioning kidneys and liver could no longer process, he lingered for three weeks. Alcoholic death is very painful and slow. Seeing him die of alcoholism convinced me I could never become an alcoholic. I knew too much about the disease, had too much self-knowledge to ever fail prey. I could not help my grandmother bury her only son, because by then I was inextricably involved in an affair mixed in sex and alcohol. p. 330 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Aren't these practices joy-killers as well as time-consumers? Must A.A.'s spend most of their waking hours drearily rehashing their sins of omission or commission? Well, hardly. The emphasis on inventory is heavy only because a great many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal. Once this healthy practice has become grooved, it will be so interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For these minutes and sometimes hours spent in self-examination are bound to make all the other hours of our day better and happier. And at length our inventories become a regular part of everyday living, rather than something unusual or set apart. pp. 89-90 ************************************************** ********* I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all, but whatever I placed in God's hands I still possess. --GGDNER Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. --Mother Teresa Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale In a world that is constantly changing, there is no one subject or set of subjects that will serve you for the foreseeable future, let alone for the rest of your life. The most important skill to acquire now is learning how to learn. --John Naisbitt "In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us." --Flora Edwards *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation FORGIVENESS "Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom." -- Hannah Arendt Early in sobriety I found it easy to forgive others but hard to forgive myself. This kept me sick and negative, even in recovery, because I was unable to practice self-love. I still blamed me and felt responsible for being alcoholic. I had not surrendered to the reality of alcoholism as a disease. Then a moment of sanity was granted me whereby I understood that I was not responsible for being alcoholic, but that I am responsible for my recovery. And my recovery involves a love and respect of self. This knowledge brought a tremendous joy and freedom that led to action within the recovering community. Only by loving me will I be able to love you, and in both these ways I show my love of God. May I always hold on to the spiritual power of forgiveness. ************************************************** ********* "Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word. Accept, O LORD, the willing praise of my mouth, and teach me your laws. Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law. The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not strayed from your precepts. Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end. Psalm 119:105-112 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Be aware of the blessings of friendship and know that to have a friend you must be one in return. Lord, help me to be able to smile, to share, to listen and to be available when I am needed. God's promises are not for those who walk through life with no obstacles, but for those who overcome their obstacles. Lord, I pray, not to overpower others, but to overcome my own weaknesses and strengthen my trust in You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Amends Without Expectations "Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing." Basic Text p.38 The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we've harmed? Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we're likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we're hoping we'll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story. We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can't plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past. Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends. pg. 292 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are: and what we already are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline. --H. P. Viddon In the ninth inning of the baseball game with a tie score and the bases loaded, the batter hit a home run. The fans and the team cheered wildly, and the batter was jubilant. What many fans did not know was that he had been playing on baseball teams for fifteen years. Many times he struggled without being noticed. He wondered if he was any good or not, and there were days he had to make himself go out and practice. He made many mistakes, but his love and dedication for the game had always won out. It is the years of discipline that prepare us for our big moments in life. Daily practice and love give our lives a direction, even through times of doubt and despair. By doing our best each day and learning from our mistakes, we prepare ourselves for the big moments--the home runs--in our lives. How are my mistakes and pains today a part of my future success? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Forgiveness is another word for letting go. --Matthew Fox Learning forgiveness - both granting it to others and accepting it for ourselves - is one of the primary means of a man's spiritual recovery. Many of us, after entering this program, are plagued with strong feelings of guilt. We have finally become accountable, and we see our lives in a new perspective. We long for a chance to undo our mistakes. Many men carry guilt for years as if they deserved to be punished. Our recovery program tells us to let go. Simply going through the motions of forgiving or accepting forgiveness will not get us very far. We must squarely face our feelings and tell someone so we are no longer alone with our guilt. Then, if there is the possibility for repair without further hurt, we must make repair. In this concrete way we can be genuinely forgiven and fully accept forgiveness. When a man has a spiritual experience like this, he matures and gains the ability to forgive others. I am grateful for the relief of being forgiven and letting go of past mistakes. I will genuinely let go of my guilt and resentment. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right direction is ours for the taking. Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks. Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior, our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make. The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to the message within and the strength to go forth as directed. Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right action is always, and forever, as close as myself. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface. Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect. But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings. Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself. Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept me as I am. Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept you as you are. I am free to have an honest relationship with me and you today. --Ruth Fishel ************************************ Journey To The Heart October 6 What Are Your Priorities? I was working away in my cabin, trying to print out the pages I had typed into my computer. It was taking half an hour to print each page. I had one hundred pages to go. For the umpteenth time I checked my computer, checked the program, checked the printer, checked everything I knew to see why it was printing so slowly. It all seemed to be set up properly. Then I accidentally touched a control setting, one I hadn’t noticed before. It was my priority control. It was set on low. I switched it to high priority. The pages now began to print at top speed. Priorities are important. Learning how to focus our energy according to priorities– even though we’re going with the flow– is an important part of our lives. It’s one of the powers we’re learning. What are your priorities? Is living from your heart one of them? Are there tasks you’d like to accomplish? Skills you’d like to acquire? Is meditation being centered, and living your life from a place of balance an area you’ve designated as critical? Is loving yourself a priority? How important is your spiritual growth? What priority have you assigned to other areas like pleasure, having fun, feeling joy? Are your priorities set on high, medium,or low? Look around and you’ll see your answers. Your life as it is now reflects the priorities you have chosen so far. If something is happening too slowly, try switching your priority setting from low to high. ***** more language of letting go See it simple "It's too much," I said to my instructor. "Jumping out of a plane is too much for my mind to comprehend." "Then keep it simple," he said. "Break it down into parts. You have the ride up, where you practice relaxing, your exit, your free-fall time; then you deploy your parachute. Then you decide if it's working or if you need to go to plan B. Next set up your landing pattern. When you get near the ground, pull your strings and flare." I could handle the steps, but the big picture of jumping out of an airplane was too much to envision. But exiting, falling stable, pulling, and flaring were simple parts that felt manageable. My mind could comprehend these simple tasks. You may never make a skydive. Or maybe you will. But there's a lot of things in life that seem like too much if we try to see them all as one big thing. I never thought I could stay sober and drug-free for twenty-seven years. But with God's help and the help of the program, I believed I could refrain from using drugs and alcohol for twenty-four hours. Then the nexr day, I got up and believed the same thing again. There have been times I didn't think I could start my life over. But I could get up in the morning and do the things I thought best for that day. Are you facing something now in your life that feels too overwhelming? Then simplify it. Break it down into manageable parts until you can see how simple it is. God, I'm complicating a task or making it too big and unmanageable in my mind, help me to simplify what I see. ***** In All Kinds Of Weather Being Happy For Friends When we are close friends with someone, we intuitively know when they need a hug, a helping hand, or a sympathetic ear. Likewise, when we are going through bleak periods in our lives, we count on friends to support us through loss, illness, and other setbacks, both big and small. And while part of being a good friend means being there when the other person needs us, it is just as important to be there for our friends so we can share in their joyous celebrations and triumphs. After all, who else would our friends want to celebrate their promotions, graduations, marriages, and good news with than their loved ones and good friends. Yet depending on what is happening in our lives, it can sometimes be difficult to be there for our friends during the good times. We can become so busy with our own lives that we forget to make time. Or, we may be so focused on our own problems that we may not feel like celebrating with our friends. We may even take their joyful moments for granted, assuming that as long as we’re there for our friends during the bad times that we are doing our jobs. Yet part of being a true friend means also being there during the good times. Success and happiness can feel empty without someone to share them with, and who better to join in our victory dances than our good friends. Taking the time from our busy lives to honor our friends’ happy moments is a wonderful way to show them that they matter. And in many ways, by wanting you around during their happy occasions, your friends are also honoring you. After all, it is the people we cherish that we want around us to sing at our birthdays, visit our newborn babies, and pop open that bottle of champagne with when we reach a milestone moment. The next time a friend wants you to be there to celebrate with them, remember to feel honored that they thought of asking you. Together, you can celebrate their happiness and your rich friendship. ************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day As we “keep coming back” to meetings, we’re able to recognize those people who have an abundance of serenity. We are drawn to such people. to our surprise, we sometimes find that those who seem most grateeful for today’s blessings are the very ones who have the most serious and continuing problems at home or at work. Yet they have the courage to turn away from such problems, actively seeking to learn and hel others in The Program. How hav ethey gotten this serenity? It must be because they depend less on themselves and their own limited resources — and more on a Power greater than themselves in whom they have confidence. Am I acquiring the gift of serenity? Have my actions begun to reflect my inner faith? Today I Pray May I never cease to be awed by the serenity I see in oohters in my group — a serenity which manifest their comfortable surrender to a Higher Power. May I learn from them that peace of mind is possible even in the thick of trouble. May I, too, learn that I need to pull back from my problems now and then and draw upon the God-provided pool of serenity within myself. Today I Will Remember Serenity is surrender to God’s plan. ************************************ One More Day Every human being is a problem in search of a solution. – Ashely Montagu Despite the occasional disance or coolness that many of us sense within, we are also aware of wellsprings of emotion, ready to flow with feelings that have been long hidden. It sometimes takes a crisis, such as illness, chemical deendency, or loss of a loved one to literally drive us to seek help. Trying to uncover deeply hidden painful emotions can feel like a treacherous path to follow, and some of us may be tempted to stop trying. But if we honestly open ourselves to these feelings, we can begin to know ourselves better and to build healthyier and more mature relationships. Change can be frightening, especially when I’ve been hiding from my own emotions. If there is a problem, dealing with my emotions is part of the solution. ***************************************** One Day At A Time LONGINGS “The great question - which I have not been able to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?'” Sigmund Freud All my life I have been searching for what I “really want”. I tried sports, different jobs, friends, lovers and traveling. I even tried therapy. None of these ever worked. Once I had what I thought I wanted, I didn't want it anymore. The urge to want -- to long for the best things -- was an inner, unsatisfied hunger. Excessive food became my sedating drug. When using food, I was numb to my longings. I felt it was impossible to fill this void. It seemed I would never know or receive what I wanted. The 12 step program of recovery taught me that I could have anything I wanted -- if God gave it to me. When I stopped wanting everything so badly, and I surrendered to be His child and employee, I learned that what I'd thought of as “wanting”, was actually what I was “missing”. I missed everything important in my life, so I wanted everything. It was never enough ~ never the right thing or the right person. I felt that even I was "wrong" because I was without love, patience, tolerance or companionship. In OA I found all of that. With God's help, I now have those things in my life every day when I ask for it and accept it as part of me today. One day at a time... I no longer want so much, and I am thankful for what I receive. I am receiving more than I have ever dreamed of. ~ Trine ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it. - Pg. 73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Right now, you are getting rid of the toxic things in your life: toxic substances, toxic people, toxic behavior patterns and toxic thoughts. The only way to do this is to look, listen, and imitate those that have already done it. Slowly it becomes real for you, too. I know that I cannot find this new path alone. Let me accept the guidance of those that have gone before me. My Reservoir of Peace There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. It is my responsibility to maintain and attend to it. Whatever I do in the world, my serenity comes first. I owe it to no one. I will pay attention today to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance and I will take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to remember that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently the people, places and things of my day. I will work daily to build my serenity muscles so that I stay strong and flexible. Serenity isn't something that I can just grab and have. I need to nourish it through quiet and reflection and come back to it what I lose it. My serenity is mine to look after. I give myself the gift of my own serenity today and every day. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'The choice is up to you. It can either be 'Good morning, God!' or 'Good God, morn-ing.' ~Dr. Wayne Dryer, Everyday Wisdom Choice, not chance, determines my day. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Take the program seriously, not yourself. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting. If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well. Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I heard this guy sharing and he said : 'I ended up drinking wine, alone, in an alley.' I started out drinking wine, alone, in an alley. - Danny T. __________________
Here is a secular book of a self help meeting program called SOS if anyone cares, I use to attend the meetings: http://www.seedsofsobriety.com Their website: http://www.sossobriety.org/home.html
October 7 Daily Reflections DAILY MONITORING Continued to take personal inventory. . . . . TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88 The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step-- "every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us"--also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality. When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Do I put too much reliance on any one member of the group? That is, do I make a tin god out of some one person? Do I set that person on a pedestal? If I do, I am building my house on sand. A.A. members have "clay feet." They are all only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long they have been in A.A. This has been proved to be true more than once. It's not fair to any member to be singled out as a leader in A A. and to always quote that member on the A.A. program. If that person should fail, where would I be? Meditation For The Day You must always remember that you are weak but that God is strong. God knows all about your weakness. He hears every cry for mercy, every sign of weakness, every plea for help, every sorrow over failure, every weakness felt and expressed. We only fail when we trust too much to our own strength. Do not feel bad about your weakness. When you are weak, that is when God is strong to help you. Trust God enough, and your weakness will not matter. God is always strong to save. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may learn to lean on God's strength. I pray that I may know that my weakness is God's opportunity. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Speak Up Without Fear, p.278 Few of us are anonymous so far as our daily contacts go. We have dropped anonymity at this level because we think our friends and associates ought to know about A.A. and what it has done for us. We also wish to lose the fear of admitting that we are alcoholics. Though we earnestly request reporters not to disclose our identities, we frequently speak before semipublic gatherings. We wish to convince audiences that our alcoholism is a sickness we no longer fear to discuss before anyone. If, however, we venture beyond this limit, we shall surely lose the principle of anonymity forever. If every A.A. felt free to publish his own name, picture, and story, we would soon be launched upon a vast orgy of personal publicity. ******************************** "While the so-called public meeting is questioned by many A.A. members, I favor it myself providing only that anonymity is respected in press reports and that we ask nothing for ourselves except understanding." 1. Grapevine, January 1946 2. Letter, 1949 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Taming the instincts. Orderly direction Though alcoholics can appear to have serious shortcomings, these problems are really only misguided attempts to satisfy needs that must be met. In the 12 Step program, we do not deny our human needs. We realize, however, that these needs must be met in moral, constructive ways. Falso methods of meeting needs will bring false, harmful results. We can meet our needs in an orderly manner by turning to our Higher Power and following the slow and impractical, but over the longer term we will come to see that it is the right way to live. Our instinctive needs are proper and God-given, but they must not run wild in our lives. Living sober also means taming our instincts. I'll not be surprised by the various needs I may feel today. I am committed, however, to a moral and principled response to these needs. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We never thought we could get old.---Bob Dylan Here we are no longer children. Yet we’re not quite grown up either. At least, we don’t always feels grown up. Our program helps us accept the stages of our life. And the child in our heart is getting happier. In some ways, we feel younger everyday. We’re also starting to feel older and wiser. It feels good. We’re not so afraid of the world, because we’re learning better ways to live in it. We can learn by having friends who teach us to stay young at heart. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be the best I can be, at the age I am today. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll call an older friend and ask him or her this question: “What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about life since you were my age?” ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold. --Ruth P. Freedman We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll discover freedom. Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and leave the outcome where it belongs. I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will do my part, and no more. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to very happy. But all problems will not be solved at once. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of the old problems will still be with you. This is as it should be. p. 117 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories Crossing The River Of Denial She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it. Plummeting into the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization that that relationship became, I had my first drunk driving arrest. It terrified me; I could have killed someone. Driving in a total blackout, I "came to" handing my driver's license to the patrolman. I swore it would never happen again. Three months later it happened again. What I didn't know then was that when I put alcohol in my body, I'm powerless over how much and with whom I drink--all good intentions drowned in denial. p. 330 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Before we ask what a spot-check inventory is, let's look at the kind of setting in which such an inventory can do its work. It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it. p. 90 ************************************************** ********* With God everyday, I make my way. I hold on to God’s hand As I journey through this land. --Tammy What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. --Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) Do not let a desire for wealth cause you to become so consumed by your work that you prevent happiness for yourself and your family. Happiness is foremost. A look filled with understanding, and accepting smile, a loving word, a meal shared in warmth and awareness are the things which create happiness in the present moment. By nourishing awareness in the present moment, you can avoid causing suffering to yourself and those around you. --Thich Nhat Hanh "No matter how much you talk to your plant, if you don't water it, it's going to die." --Mike Perry Thoughts and beliefs are nothing without action" --James A. Ray *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation POWER "The first and great commandment is 'Don't let them scare you.'" -- Elmer Davis In my sobriety I still need to deal with fear. A fear of people, a fear of not being good enough, a fear of saying the wrong thing, a fear of not looking "good enough" --- fear still haunts me in sobriety. However, my recovery also tells me that I am a child of God. I am a beautiful and powerful human being because God not only made me, but has shared something of His precious divinity with me. I am good enough. In Him I can afford to risk. Love must begin with the recognition of self. Today I must remember that people are not "out to get me". I need not make myself the victim. People are much the same inside, and we all need each other to survive. Thank You for the power to live with my fear. ************************************************** ********* Let them give thanks for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Psalm 107:8-9 "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you." Psalm 55:22 We love Him, because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Be grateful for the simple things that you can do such as being able to see, to walk, to have health and to be able to face life with peace of mind. Lord, on a daily basis I will count my many unnamed blessings. Smile. If you know that God is with you and will never fail you, then you always have every reason to smile. Lord, my heart seeks You and clings to You and I rejoice. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Depending On Our Higher Power "As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the innerstrength we get in our relationship with Him." Basic Text pp.67-68 For many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature. We didn't want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially not on God. The beauty of using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything we wanted, all by ourselves. But the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us. When we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didn't have to mean what we may have thought it meant. Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap "a Power greater than ourselves." However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Power - we could even make one up. Dependence on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us. The Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own. It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for. It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we couldn't humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give. It is all these things, and it is our own. Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on. Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding. pg. 293 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness. Envy magnifies molehills into mountains. Just how foolish envy truly is becomes clear when we think of it as a row of hooks on which to hang grudges. When we envy others, especially our family members, we blind ourselves to the good we could see in all people. We are ignoring life's flowers to gather bouquets of weeds. When we envy the accomplishments or possessions of another, we will be better off if we look to our own prized possessions, to those things in ourselves that no one else has in exactly the same way. What riches do I have within and around me? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I've got to get out. --Marlon Brando How much acceptance is enough for us? Do we feel one person's criticism undermines the acceptance of 199 others? Do we get so focused on one person's negative response to us that we cannot hear the positive? If we are unable to accept criticism from others, it becomes a sink without a plug, draining away all the positives we naturally have in our life. As we become spiritual men, we're able to detach from negative and critical messages. We must still hear them. We must still listen to their messages because we can learn from them. But we can separate ourselves from the negative message. We can make a mistake. Someone can dislike us. But we do not give up our places as equal, worthwhile men for any reason. God, I pray for your support when my own strength to stand up for myself falters. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold. --Ruth P. Freedman We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll discover freedom. Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and leave the outcome where it belongs. I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will do my part, and no more. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of Naivete We can be loving, trusting people and still not allow ourselves to be used or abused. We don't have to let people do whatever they want to us. Not all requests are legitimate! Not all requests require a yes! Life may test us. People may seek out our weak spots. We may see a common denominator to the limits that are being tested in our life. If we have a weak spot in one area, we may find ourselves tested repeatedly in that area by family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Life, people, our Higher Power, and the universe may be trying to teach us something specific. When we learn that lesson, we will find that problems with that area dwindle. The boundary has been set, the power has been owned. For now, the lesson has been learned. We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That's okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don't want, what we won't tolerate, and how to own our power. We can thank them for what we have learned. How much are we willing to tolerate? How far shall we let others go with us? How much of our anger and intuition shall we discount? Where are our limits? Do we have any? If we don't, we're in trouble. There are times to not trust others, but instead trust ourselves and set boundaries with those around us. Today, I will be open to new awareness about the areas where I need healthier boundaries. I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. I will exchange that view for trusting myself, listening to myself, and having and setting healthy boundaries. I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting. If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well. Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy. --Ruth Fishel ************************************ Journey To The Heart October 7 Value the Power of Seeing I have learned a valuable tool. It is one of the easiest and most powerful tools I’ve been given. I call it the power of seeing. It is the simple act of observing myself: what I do, how I react, how I respond to others. It is particularly useful in situations that have gotten confused or sticky and I don’t know what to do to become unstuck. When I feel overwhelmed or a situation gets too difficult and I can’t see my way through, I watch myself. It helps. Learn to observe yourself. Let yourself really see and be present in the moment in the situation you’re in. Watch yourself as a neutral observer would, without judgement. Try to see the other person in the same way. Watch how the two of you interact, respond to each other. Watch yourself think and feel. See the actions you take. You don’t have to talk about what you’re doing; it’s better if you don’t. Just stay with yourself. Do it once. Do it twice. Then do it again. Soon you’ll begin to see something else: you’ll begin to see the situation change, evolve, take a turn for the better. The power of seeing is one most of us can easily claim. It helps, heals, and sometimes produces miracles. Physicists have deicided that the act of observing can impact the behavior, appearance, or energy of whatever is being observed. How we look at someone, including ourselves, can have an impact, cause a change. There’s power in seeing. There’s even more power in seeing with the eyes of love. ***** more language of letting go Tell yourself how simple it is Here's another example about the power of simplification. For years, I heard about hiking. It sounded so elusive, difficult, and mysterious. I didn't do it, but I thought about hiking wistfully. One day, a friend asked me to go hiking with him. "Sure," I said. As the day of our hike approached, I began thinking things through. I was getting a little nervous. What if I couldn't do it well enough? What if I didn't know how to do it at all? Don't be ridiculous, I scolded myself. You're making this much more complicated than it really is. Hiking is just walking, and you've been doing that since you were ten months old. The next day, I arose at 6:00 A.M., and my friend and I left for our hike. I followed my friend as he began walking up the steep incline. Just walk, I told myself after the first ten steps. Put one foot in front of another. Walk like you've done all your life. I didn't make it to the top of the mountain that day, but I made it almost halfway. Is there something you've wanted to do but have put off because it sounds too difficult and complicated? Are you saying no to something in your life that you'd like to say yes to, but it seems elusive and out of your reach? Try reducing the task or activity to its simplest form. I have a friend who hadn't dated for years. One day, a girl he liked asked him to go to the movies. He was anxious and nervous. "Going to a movie is just sitting down and staring at the screen, then getting up and going home when you've finished," I said. "I think you can do that." "You're right," he said. He went and had a great time. Sometimes we can scare ourselves out of doing the easiest thing in life. Yes, hiking involves more than walking. And going on a date with someone involves a little more than sitting and staring at a screen. But not that much more. Simplify things. Bring them down to their most manageable level. Instead of talking yourself out of living, learn to talk yourself into it. God, give me the courage to fully live my life. Help me deliberately talk myself into doing things, instead of scaring myself away. ***** Avoiding Negative Vibrations Taking on the Energy of Others There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don’t unknowingly take on someone else’s energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best. There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people’s energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you. The intent to shield oneself is all you need for this technique to work. You can even create a trigger word to assist you in quickly creating a shield. Say this word each time you create a new shield, until the word and the shield become automatically associated in your mind. If you run into a person whose energy you find draining, you may want to cleanse your own energy field after your encounter. Sage, cold showers, singing, mineral water baths, spending time in nature, and a simple break to recharge are all ways to accomplish this. While it is important to know how to shield yourself from energy, there are those energies that you may not want to shut out. The energy of laughter from a newborn baby, the feeling of joy radiating from someone in love, and the frequency of calm emanating from an enlightened teacher are just some of the energies coming from others that you may want to have around you. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word “serenity” itself seemed like an impossibility. At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apathy, resignation, or grim-faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal. But I’ve since found that serenity means none of those things. Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. My favorite definition is, “Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us.” Is that a state of mind worth aiming for? Today I Pray may I notice that “serenity” comes first, ahead of “courage” and “wisdom,” in the sequence of the Serenity Prayer. May I believe that “serenity” must also come first in my life. I must have the balance, realistic outlook and acceptance that is part of this blessing of serenity before I can go on to the kind of action and decision-making that will bring order to my existence. Today I Will Remember Serenity comes first. ************************************ One More Day Honor your challenges, for those spaces that you label as dark are actually there to bring you more light. – Sanaya Roman Many of us have wondered whether we should begin using adaptive living aids openly. We worry about what people would think if they saw us using equipment that brands us as handicapped. We fear embarrassment. Some folks never solve the problem, and they stay at home, trapped by their fears of being noticed, of being different. It’s difficult to forfeit the anonymity of being the same as everyone else. One thing is certain — without special gadgets, we have to ask for help. So, with foresight and a fierce sense of independence, many of us grasp any opportunity to “do” for ourselves. We can use aids because they will assist and support our zest for life. I will risk being different. By using adaptive devices I can remain more independent. ***************************************** One Day At A Time WISDOM “Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.” Kahlil Gibran When I heard the serenity prayer at the first OA meeting I attended, I didn’t understand what it meant to accept what I couldn’t change, have courage to change the things I could, and wisdom to know the difference. I said it at each meeting and hoped that eventually I would somehow find that wisdom. It was quite some time into my recovery when I finally understood what having wisdom really meant. Before Program, I never accepted things or people the way they were. I felt paralyzed by my fears about what wasn’t working in my life. This fear kept me from seeing what I could change, or even try to change, in my life. I finally realized that before coming into the Program I had put on a mask and never let anyone know the real me. I didn’t know how to laugh or cry, and I certainly never knew how to reach out to others because it was always about me and my unfortunate life. But once I finally allowed myself to be real and vulnerable with others, miracles began to happen. I became more willing to accept people and places as exactly the way they should be at that time. I was able to walk through my fears and learn what I could change in my life. To my delight, when I became more vulnerable to others it didn’t make me weak; rather, I felt a strength and power flow through me and I became more able to know the difference between what I could or couldn’t change, and for me, that is wisdom. One day at a time... May I always be willing to know the difference between what I can and cannot change. ~ Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. - Pgs. 72-73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'First Things First' is definitely a good philosophy but in the third week of recovery it seems impossible. For us at this time the ONLY thing we have to do is stay away from that first fix, pill, or drink. Whatever problems I think I have, the first and most important consideration is to stay away from that first fix, pill, snort, or drink! Putting in the Elbow Grease I will be willing to do the daily work that is required to have the life I want to have. A good life is brought forth through many doors. The door of visualization, the door or seeing and the door of work. As I progress along my path I will learn how to 'work smarter'. How to use my energies more efficiently and waste less time needlessly. I'll learn how to get out of my own way and let my energies flow more freely. I'll learn how to listen to others and make my own decisions, how to have boundaries that are porous and flexible rather than either rigid or weak. I will find my sense of self and be able to sustain it even in the presence of others. I'll develop strength, wisdom, patience and compassion. I will develop my own unique gifts and strengths. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Why wonder why? Why ask why? The 'why' questions spring from only one place inside: self-pity. The questions to ask are the 'how' questions. The right questions contain clues to the answers we need. When I ask the right question, I get the right answer. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Keep an unmade mind instead of a mind made up. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks. Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks. Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back. __________________
October 8 Daily Reflections DAILY INVENTORY . . . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59 I was beginning to approach my new life of sobriety with unaccustomed enthusiasm. New friends were cropping up and some of my battered friendships had begun to be repaired. Life was exciting, and I even began to enjoy my work, becoming so bold as to issue a report on the lack of proper care for some of our clients. One day a co-worker informed me that my boss was really sore because a complaint, submitted over his head, had caused him much discomfort at the hands of his superiors. I knew that my report had created the problem, and began to feel responsible for my boss's difficulty. In discussing the affair, my co-worker tried to reassure me that an apology was not necessary, but I soon became convinced that I had to do something, regardless of how it might turn out. When I approached my boss and owned up to my hand in his difficulties, he was surprised. But unexpected things came out of our encounter, and my boss and I were able to agree to interact more directly and effectively in the future. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day There is such a thing as being too loyal to any one group. Do I feel put out when another group starts and some members of my group leave it and branch out into new territory? Or do I send them out with my blessing? Do I visit that new offshoot group and help it along? Or do I sulk in my own tent? A.A. grows by the starting of new groups all the time. I must realize that it's a good thing for a large group to split up into smaller ones, even it if means that the large group --my own group--becomes smaller. Am I always ready to help new groups? Meditation For The Day Pray--and keep praying until it brings peace and serenity and a feeling of communion with One who is near and ready to help. The thought of God is balm for our hates and fears. In praying to God, we find healing for hurt feelings and resentments. In thinking of God, doubts and fears leave us. Instead of those doubts and fears, there will flow into our hearts such faith and love as is beyond the power of material things to give, and such peace as the world can neither give nor take away. And with God, we can have the tolerance to live and let live. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have true tolerance and understanding. I pray that I may keep striving for these difficult things. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Fine Art Of Alibis, p.279 The majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses for drinking and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art. We had to drink because times were hard or times were good, We had to drink because at home we were smothered with love or not none at all. We had to drink at work because we were great successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum. ******************************** To see how our own erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our speech and thought. 12 & 12 1. pp. 46-47 2. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Changing other people Relating to others. "How can I get this person to accept the program?" We hear this often, for example, when a patient at a treatment center complains about another who is so negative toward the program "That he's dragging all of us down." We discovered long ago that we have no power to change or manipulate others. At the very beginning of AA, its pioneers learned how to maintain their own sobriety and serenity even as others rebelled and turned against the program. They learned that negative people can't drag us down unless we let them. We might need to review our personal inventory if we're too concerned about the behavior of others. Ours is a program of attraction, not coercion, and we "change" people only by demonstrating how well it works for us. Any concern about another's behavior takes time and energy away from our own commitment to self-improvement. I have a personal need and responsibility to carry the mess, but I have neither the right nor the responsibility to modify anybody's behavior. I'll keep this in mind today. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Just Say No.--- Nancy Reagan We addicts were great at saying no. Our spouse asked us to help around the house and we said no and went drinking. Friends tried to care, but we said, “No, mind your own business!” Our parents or our kids begged us to stop drinking, but we said no. We were also ask to say yes. We always said yes when asked if we wanted to have a drink or get high. Addiction really mixed us up. When we said no, we should have said yes. And when we said yes we should have said no. In recovery, we do things better. We say yes when others ask for help. We say yes when somebody wants to give us love. We say no to alcohol and other drugs. We finally answer yes and no the right way---the right way and at the right time for us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to always say yes to You, even when I’m tired or angry. Action for the Day: In today’s inventory, I’ll ask myself if there are any ways I’m still saying no to my program and Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The great creative power is everything. If you leave out one whole chunk of it, by making God only masculine, you have to redress the balance. --Martha Boesing What a blessing, to be part of God! For many of us, invoking God with a male pronoun put an obstacle in the path of our spiritual growth. We felt left out. Worship of something called "He" or "Him" didn't jibe with our spirituality. When we pray, we pray to a spiritual source that includes everything, that leaves nothing out: sexes, all races, all ages and conditions. Some of us had no trouble understanding that God is everything, no matter how God is invoked. But whatever our path to spirituality, the Twelve Step program has enriched our understanding. Before we practiced the Twelve Steps, we had allowed ourselves to forget the strength and nurture that are always at hand, and now we are grateful to be reminded that God is with us, within us, and all is well. One woman says, "When I feel far from God, I ask myself: Who moved?" God is always there. Today I will pray for the wisdom to stay close to my spiritual source, the Creator Spirit. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test. These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. Instead, you will capitalize them. A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome. p. 117 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories Crossing The River Of Denial She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it. I remembered joking about how most people spent their entire lives without ever seeing the inside of a jail, and here "a woman of my stature" had been arrested three times. But, I would think, I've never really done "hard time," never actually spent the night in jail. Then I met Mr. Wrong, my husband-to-be, and all that changed. I spent my wedding night in jail. Like every other time, however, it wasn't my fault. There we were, still in our wedding clothes. If he had just kept his mouth shut after the police arrived, we would have been fine. I had them convinced that he had attacked the valet because our wedding money was missing. Actually, he thought the valet had stolen the marijuana we were going to smoke. In reality, I was so drunk I had lost it. pp. 330-331 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional "dry benders" often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances--jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride--did the same thing. p. 90 ************************************************** ********* I will exercise patience, as God would, with all others. --Shelley "Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits." --Samuel Butler AA is my anchor in a sea of confusion. AA brought me home when I had lost my way. Newcomer or long-timer, we are all the same in our need for each other. Think it over, not drink over it. "The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes." --Marcel Proust *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation UNDERSTANDING "Intelligence is proved not by ease of learning but by understanding what we learn." -- Joseph Whitney For years I learned things without understanding what the words, or the meaning behind the words, really meant. An example was alcoholism. Then a man said, "My name is Bill, and I am an alcoholic and a recovering human being!" Then it struck me; recovery from a drug --- alcohol --- was not simply about putting down the glass but about changing and developing a positive lifestyle as a human being. The same is true with spirituality. It is not about being religious, going to church or accepting dogma. It is about finding God in my life, discovering God in the decisions and actions I take and seeing Him in the world around me. Today I understand spirituality to be the link that unites all peoples and is centered on what is true and real. May I continue to search for the meaning within the word and the harmony of communication. ************************************************** ********* Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. Psalm 107:13 "By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:8 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Waste no time on situations that aren't worth your precious time. Lord, may I recognize pettiness for what it is and move on so that my imagination doesn't take over and give pettiness more value than it deserves. Ultimate security does not come from relying on things or people, but from relying on God. Lord, I place my trust in You. Bless me and keep me in Your loving care. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A New Pattern Of Living "We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have." Basic Text p. 75 Addiction gave a pattern to our lives, and with it a meaning - a dark, diseased meaning, to be sure, but a meaning nonetheless. The Narcotics Anonymous recovery program gives us a new pattern of living to replace our old routines. And with that new pattern comes a new meaning to our lives, one of light and hope. What is this new pattern of living? Instead of isolation, we find fellowship. Instead of living blindly, repeating the same mistakes again and again, we regularly examine ourselves, free to keep what helps us grow and discard what doesn't. Rather than constantly trying to get by on our own limited power, we develop a conscious contact with a loving Power greater than ourselves. Our life must have a pattern. To maintain our recovery, we must maintain the new patterns our program has taught us. By giving regular attention to these patterns, we will maintain the freedom we've found from the deadly disease of addiction, and keep hold of the meaning recovery has brought to our lives. Just for today: I will begin a new pattern in my life: the regular maintenance of my recovery. pg. 294 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Learn what you are and be such. --Pindar The most precious gift we can give those closest to us is honesty. Yet we often hide our true selves from friends, fearing we won't be accepted or loved if we let them see the real us. Often, we show parts of ourselves that hide who we really are. We have often heard ourselves or others say, "My parents would just die if . . . ," or, "don't argue in front of the children." If we hide too much behind false images, we run the risk of losing track of what is real and what is false. We become actors instead of real people, trying to please Aunt Jane, our grandparents, our big brother, or our children. When we conquer our fear of letting others in, we are able to see ourselves honestly. When we discover that others accept us as we are, we can accept and love ourselves. To know oneself is to know a person of value. What part of me have I been hiding? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We cannot avoid Using power, Cannot escape the compulsion To afflict the world, So let us, cautious in diction And mighty in contradiction, Love powerfully. --Martin Buber The use and misuse of power by men give us much to weep over and much to admire. In our own families we see how our parents fought over power, how they used it both wisely and abusively. Our problems with power and control are a central part of our addictions and codependency. Admitting our powerlessness has started us toward recovery. Admitting our power will help carry us further. No one is innocent beyond childhood. We affect the people around us, and it matters how we treat them. We cannot come and go unnoticed. Since we will make an impact, we learn to treat ourselves and the people around us with respect and justice. Our only solution is to learn to love and be loved. Today, I will be more aware of the power I have in others' lives. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The great creative power is everything. If you leave out one whole chunk of it, by making God only masculine, you have to redress the balance. --Martha Boesing What a blessing, to be part of God! For many of us, invoking God with a male pronoun put an obstacle in the path of our spiritual growth. We felt left out. Worship of something called "He" or "Him" didn't jibe with our spirituality. When we pray, we pray to a spiritual source that includes everything, that leaves nothing out: sexes, all races, all ages and conditions. Some of us had no trouble understanding that God is everything, no matter how God is invoked. But whatever our path to spirituality, the Twelve Step program has enriched our understanding. Before we practiced the Twelve Steps, we had allowed ourselves to forget the strength and nurture that are always at hand, and now we are grateful to be reminded that God is with us, within us, and all is well. One woman says, "When I feel far from God, I ask myself: Who moved?" God is always there. Today I will pray for the wisdom to stay close to my spiritual source, the Creator Spirit. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Learning to Wait I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . . --The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good. We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later. We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe. We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it. Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait. Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait. Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks. Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey To The Heart October 8 Leave When It’s Time to Go It’s time to pick up, pack up, and leave. You knew you wouldn’t be in this situation in this place with these people forever. Trust the rhythms and cycles of life. Take responsibility for yourself within each cycle. Take responsibility for yourself as each cycle ends and a new one begins. You don’t have to hold onto messengers after they’ve delivered the message in your life, or escorts after they’ve taken you where you were trying to go. You don’t have to stay in a classroom after you’ve learned the lessons and finished that course. Open your heart. Thank the people, places, and things that have helped create your world, shape you, form your experiences. Then pick up, pack up, and leave. Say good-bye with love and gratitude in your heart. And go on down the road. ***** more language of letting go Go at your own pace This part of the path was steep. And the altitude change was severe. I was gasping for breath and trying not to grimace at the ache in my legs as my hiking partner strode up the path in front of me. He stopped and looked back. I was definitely trailing behind. If his legs were aching the way mine were, his stride didn't show it. I knew how it felt to hold yourself back to someone else's pace. I didn't want to do that to him just because I was out of shape. "You go on ahead," I yelled. He looked reluctant. "Go. Hike at your own pace. I'll hike at mine." I convinced him to leave me behind. Just because we came together didn't mean that we had to hike, or walk as I preferred to call it, in the same stride. My friend went on ahead of me and disappeared from sight. I hiked, then rested, then hiked, then rested. Once, I stopped, took off my backpack, and took a nap. My friend and I joined up toward the end of the day. We made the trek down the mountain together, side by side. Even though we simplify things, most things are harder than we think. It's important to let each person go at their own pace. Whether it's working through an issue or tackling a project in your life, find the pace that works for you. Let others do the same. Don't compare yourself to those around you. Let yourself be energized by their pace, but respect the rhythm that works for you. God, help me know that each of us has our own rhythm for getting through life. Help me honor and enjoy the rhythms that work for me. ***** Centered Silliness Laughing Meditation by Madisyn Taylor When we laugh, we give ourselves over to the immediacy of the present moment and transcend stress. Many people might be surprised to think of laughter as a form of meditation. Yet not only is laughing meditation one of the simplest forms of meditation, but also it is a very powerful one. The physical act of laughing is one of the few actions involving the body, emotions, and the soul. When we laugh, we give ourselves over to the immediacy of the present moment. We also are able to momentarily transcend minor physical and mental stresses. Practiced in the morning, laughing meditation can lend a joyful quality to the entire day. Practiced in the evening, laughing meditation is a potent relaxant that has been known to inspire pleasant dreams. Laughter also can help open our eyes to previously unnoticed absurdities that can make life seem less serious. There are three stages to mindful laughter. Each stage can last anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. The first stage involves stretching your body like a cat and breathing deeply. Your stretch should start at the hands and feet before you move through the rest of your body. Stretch out the muscles in your face by yawning and making silly faces. The second stage of the meditation is pure laughter. Imagine a humorous situation, remember funny jokes, or think about how odd it is to be laughing by yourself. When the giggles start to rise, let them. Let the laughter ripple through your belly and down into the soles of your feet. Let the laughter lead to physical movement. Roll on the floor, if you have to, and keep on laughing until you stop. The final stage of the meditation is one of silence. Sit with your eyes closed and focus on your breath. Laughter brings with it a host of positive effects that operate on both the physical and mental levels. It is also fun, expressive, and a way to release tension. Learn to laugh in the present moment, and you’ll find that joy is always there. Published with permission from Daily OM ****** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Determination — our clenched-jaw resolve that we can do something about everything — is perhaps the greatest hindrance to achieving serenity. Our old tapes tell us, “The difficult can be done immediately; the impossible will take a little longer.” So we tighten up and prepare ourselves for battle, even though we know from long experience that our own will dooms us in advance to failure. Over and over we are told in The Program that we must “Let Go and Let God.” And we eventually do find serenity when we put aside our own will while accepting His will for us. Am I learning to relax my stubborn grip? Do I allow the solutions to unfold by themselves? Today I Pray May I loosen my tight-jaw, my tight-fists, my general up-tightness — outward indications of the “do it myself” syndrome which has gotten me into trouble before. May I know from experience that this attitude — of “keep a grip on yourself” and on everybody else, too — is accompanied by impatience and followed by frustration. May I merge my own will with the greater will of God. Today I Will Remember Let up on the strangle-hold. ***** One More Day Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other. – Euripides We may tend to love our family members only with qualifications. Only if they don’t complain about their problems. Only if they are more successful. Perhaps we don’t say this directly, but we might be communicating these qualifications to our loved ones by holding back or by making indirect suggestions as to how they should live their lives. We may be able to give our love more fully if we remember how much we need acceptance. We don’t want to receive love that is prefaced by “only if . . .” Only if we don’t complain. Only if we stop talking about our illness. We all need the comfort and support of love based on what we are, not on what others think we can or should be. Our loved ones need the same thing. Knowing I am loved and can love others is an unqualified manner strengthens me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time WISDOM “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program.” The AABB, Chapter 5 I always believed that I had to control every aspect of my life or I would be a “less-than” person. This attitude even crept into my attempts to learn the art of watercolor still life and portraits. Even my art could not escape the effects of my character defects! In order to learn something new, I have to be willing to follow the rules of the very thing I want to learn. I shared this with an experienced artist and best friend, “I find myself still wanting to control the outcome of the colors.” “Isn’t that the way we try to control our lives? She replied. “Drop the paint where you want it to go, then drop the second color into that one and let it go! You can take your brush and guide it, but don’t mess with it!” My life is like learning to watercolor. I have to trust that doing the footwork of recovery as others have done will bring about a beautiful portrait of growth in recovery. One day at a time... I will do the footwork by making good choices, letting each build upon the other, and I will stand back to see what God will create. ~ Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much precise and immutable law, and not intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. But that was as far as I had gone. - Pg. 10 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Everyone has the right to be wrong! That includes whatever occurs this hour--either our mistake, or another's. But we, or they, have the right to make that mistake. This is not cause for anger or guilt, just understanding. This hour, understanding our right to be wrong will see me through. Please help me understand. Spiritual Transformation Today, I see that to change my life I have to change myself. Nothing less than a spiritual transformation will allow me to experience my current life as an alive, serene and whole person. When I say that I would like world peace, first I will understand that without inner peace there will be no world peace. One of the ways in which I can serve the cause of humanity is to be, within myself, a genuinely spiritual person -- respecting all sects and creeds, but standing on my own as a conduit of higher truth, recognizing that each person has access to that knowledge. I will look for truth today within myself rather than outside. I will not wait for peace to be handed to me as some sort of prize for good behavior but will do the inner work needed to achieve it. Today I give and receive the gift of peace. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you think you are a victim of the universe, you are probably right. If you think of yourself as becoming whole from your experience, you are probably right. I am the victor, not the victim. It took all of my past to make this person I love today. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book This is a self-help program that you can't do by yourself. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm willing to trust that no matter what is going on in my life, I am in the process of growth. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The elevator to sobriety is broken. Please take the steps. - Anon. __________________
October 9 Daily Reflections A SPIRITUAL AXIOM It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. 12 & 12, p. 90 I never truly understood the Tenth Step's spiritual axiom until I had the following experience. I was sitting in my bedroom, reading into the wee hours, when suddenly I heard my dogs barking in the back yard. My neighbors frown on this kind of disturbance so, with mixed feelings of anger and shame, as well as fear of my neighbor's disapproval, I immediately called in my dogs. Several weeks later the exact situation repeated itself but this time, because I was feeling more at peace with myself, I was able to accept the situation--dogs will bark--and I calmly called in the dogs. Both incidents taught me that when a person experiences nearly identical events and reacts two different ways, then it is not the event that is of prime importance, but the person's spiritual condition. Feelings come from inside, not from outward circumstances. When my spiritual condition is positive, I react positively. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Am I willing to be bored sometimes at meetings? Am I willing to listen to much repetition of A.A. principles? Am I willing to hear the same thing over and over again? Am I willing to listen to a long blow by blow personal story, because it might help some new member? Am I willing to sit quietly and listen to long-winded members go into every detail of their past? Am I willing to take it, because it is doing them good to get it off their chest? My feelings are not too important. The good of A.A. comes first, even if it is not always comfortable for me. Have I learned to take it? Meditation For The Day God would draw us all closer to Him in the bonds of the spirit. He would have all people drawn closer to each other in the bonds of the spirit. God, the great Spirit of the universe, of which each of our own spirits is a small part, must want unity between Himself and all His children. "Unity of the spirit in the bonds of peace." Each experience of our life, of joy, of sorrow, of danger, of safety, of difficulty, of success, of hardship, of ease, each should be accepted as part of our common lot, in the bonds of the spirit. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may welcome the bonds of true fellowship. I pray that I may be brought closer to unity with God and other people. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Spiritually Fit, p.280 Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland icecap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of Scotch and ruin everything! Alcoholics Anonymous, p.100-101 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Can we tell others they are wrong? Sharing As we become more sensitive to others, we soon learn that it's very difficult to tell another person he or she is wrong. Even when we struggle to be kind and diplomatic, we can provoke an angry reaction. We should not be surprised, because showing people they're wrong is one of the most difficult things in human experience. Few people like to be told that they're wrong, as we can see when our wrongs are advertised to others. There is almost no way to directly tell people they're wrong without hurting or offending the. Furthermore, if they are hurt or offended, they might feel less inclined to work to correct their behavior. If we've taken the 12 Step principles to heart, however, we learn first that we are usually not required to tell anybody that he or she is wrong. But we can help people simply by relating accounts of situations when we were wrong and what we did to change. If done properly, this gives the other person the opportunity to change without feeling resentment or humiliation. I'll try to be as sensitive as possible to the feelings of others. I'll be especially careful about trying to show them that they're wrong. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple A man should never be ashamed to own he was in the wrong.---Jonathan Swift In the past, we felt a mistake was a crisis. We thought we had a to be perfect. Our old ways was to try to hide our mistakes. We were ashamed. We thought making mistakes meant we were bad. Mistakes are normal. We can learn from our mistakes. They can teach us. They can guide us. The Tenth Step directs us to promptly admit when we’re wrong. Then, over time, we start to see mistakes as normal life events. As we face and correct our mistakes, shame is washed away. We feel lighter. We know it is normal to make mistakes. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see that mistakes are normal life events. Help me promptly admit when I’m wrong. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll talk to my sponsor about mistakes I’ve made the past week. I’ll not act ashamed of my mistakes. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning When all of the remedies and all of the rhetorical armor have been dropped, the absence of love in our lives is what makes them seem raw and unfinished. --Ingrid Bengis Love soothes, encourages, inspires. It enhances our wholeness, both when we give it and when we receive it. Without the expression of love we are severed from our family and friends. It's the bond that strengthens each of us, giving us the courage to tackle what's lying ahead. We need not wait for someone else's expression of love before giving it. Loving must be unconditional. And when it is, it will be returned tenfold. Loving attracts itself, and it will heal us, soften the hard edges of our lives, and open us up to receive the blessings that others' gratitude will foster. It's such a simple thing asked of us--to love one another. Unconditional love of our sisters, our lovers, and our children breaks down the barriers to our achievements and theirs. Loving frees us to enjoy life. It energizes us and makes all goals attainable. We carry God's message through our love of one another. I am charged with only one responsibility today: to love someone, dearly and wholly. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments. Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to criticize. Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon, great thunderclouds of dispute may gather. These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband. Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control. Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. We do not mean that you have to agree with you husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit. p. 117 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories Crossing The River Of Denial She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it. During the interrogation of the valet in the restaurant parking lot, my husband became so violent the officer put him in the back of the patrol car. When he tried to kick out the rear windows, the policeman retaliated. I pleaded with the officer as a second policeman arrived, and both bride and groom were taken to jail. It was then that the "stolen" marijuana cigarettes were discovered, to my horror, in central booking as they catalogued my belongings. I was arrested for three felonies, including drunk and disorderly, and two misdemeanors, but it was all my husband's fault. I had practically nothing to do with it; he had a drinking problem. p. 331 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." A spot-check inventory taken in the midst of such disturbances can be of very great help in quieting stormy emotions. Today's spot check finds its chief application to situations which arise in each day's march. The consideration of long-standing difficulties had better be postponed, when possible, to times deliberately set aside for that purpose. The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes. pp. 90-91 ************************************************** ********* "If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor." --Jennifer Jones It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it. --Lena Horne "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it!" --From As We See It "Criticizing anothers garden does not keep the weeds out of yours." --Unknown "Do you live in tomorrow when you must face today? At times, I forget to live in the moment, but what do I miss? The setting sun, the sound of birds' singing and, most importantly, I miss meeting myself. I am constantly changing, and if I don't spend time with myself in the here and now, I will never get to appreciate who I truly am because I am too busy focusing on who I want to be." --Gary Barnes *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation HUMILITY "I believe the first test of a really great man is humility." -- John Ruskin An understanding of humility that makes sense to me is that of the man who is aware of his limitations but still reaches for the stars. For years I thought that humility was groveling in the dirt. Keeping quiet and acting obsequious. Being a religious doormat for others to walk upon. Nothing could be further from the truth! Humility is about speaking your mind, fighting for your ideas and opinions, creating through effort, sweat and debate. The humble man's ego is based on reality --- not fed on illusion. When he is wrong, he can admit it and is open to the ideas of others. Humility is based upon a realistic self-love. O God, let me humbly rejoice in Your gift of creativity. ************************************************** ********* He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom, and broke away their chains. Psalm 107:14 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. Psalm 78:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When something bothers or upsets you, you can either complain about it or make peace with it. Lord, help me promptly deal with the distractions of my day and move on to the things that truly make my day a pleasure. In your pursuit of happiness, pause to relax and be happy. Lord, slow me down just enough to enjoy all that You have given to me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Order "We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief." Basic Text p. 93 Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is in order. So what does "setting our house in order" mean, anyway? It means we work the steps, allowing us to look at our role in our relationships with others. When we have a problem with someone, we can take our own inventory to find out what our part in the problem has been. With the help of our sponsor, we strive to set it right. Then, each day, we continue taking our inventory to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future. It's pretty simple. We treat others as we would like others to treat us. We promptly make amends when we owe them. And when we turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power on a daily basis, we can start to avoid running on the self-will so characteristic of our active addiction. Guided by a Power that seeks the best for everyone, our relationships with others will surely improve. Just for today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems in my life. If I owe amends, I will make them. pg. 295 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. When all of the remedies and all of the rhetorical armor have been dropped, the absence of love in our lives is what makes them seem raw and unfinished. --Ingrid Bengis Love soothes, encourages, inspires. It enhances our wholeness, both when we give it and when we receive it. Without the expression of love we are severed from our family and friends. It's the bond that strengthens each of us, giving us the courage to tackle what's lying ahead. We need not wait for someone else's expression of love before giving it. Loving must be unconditional. And when it is, it will be returned tenfold. Loving attracts itself, and it will heal us, soften the hard edges of our lives, and open us up to receive the blessings that others' gratitude will foster. It's such a simple thing asked of us--to love one another. Unconditional love of our sisters, our lovers, and our children breaks down the barriers to our achievements and theirs. Loving frees us to enjoy life. It energizes us and makes all goals attainable. We carry God's message through our love of one another. I am charged with only one responsibility today: to love someone, dearly and wholly. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Self-Disclosure Learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love and intimacy in our relationships. Many of us have hidden under a protective shell, a casing that prevents others from seeing or hurting us. We do not want to be that vulnerable. We do not want to expose our thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and sometimes our strengths, to others. We do not want others to see who we really are. We may be afraid they might judge us, go away, or not like us. We may be uncertain that who we are is okay or exactly how we should reveal ourselves to others. Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have lived with people who abused, mistreated, manipulated, or did not appreciate us. Little by little, we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves. We disclose the real person within to others. We pick safe people, and we begin to disclose bits and pieces about ourselves. Sometimes, out of fear, we may withhold, thinking that will help the relationship or will help others like us more. That is an illusion. Withholding who we are does not help the other person, the relationship, or us. Withholding is behavior that backfires. For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are. That does not mean we tell all to everyone at once. That can be a self-defeating behavior too. We can learn to trust ourselves, about who to tell, when to tell, where to tell, and how much to tell. To trust that people will love and like us if we are exactly who we are is frightening. But it is the only way we can achieve what we want in relationships. To let go of our need to control others - their opinions, their feelings about us, or the course of the relationship - is the key. Gently, like a flower, we can learn to open up. Like a flower, we will do that when the sun shines and there is warmth. Today, I will begin to take the risk of disclosing who I am to someone with whom I feel safe. I will let go of some of my protective devices and risk being vulnerable - even though I may have been taught differently, even though I may have taught myself differently. I will disclose who I am in a way that reflects self-responsibility, self-love, directness, and honesty. God, help me let go of my fears about disclosing who I am to people. Help me accept who I am, and help me let go of my need to be who people want me to be. Today I'm willing to trust that no matter what is going on in my life, I am in the process of growth. --Ruth Fishel ************************************ ***** Answering The Call Taking Responsibility For Your Destiny There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality. Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside. Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands. ************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I remember once hearing someone in The Program say, “Life is a series of agreeing or disagreeing with the universe.” There is much truth in that statement, for I’m only a small cog in the machinery of the universe. When I try to run things my way, I’ll experience only frustration and a sense of failure. If, instead, I learn to let go, success will assuredly be mine. Then I’ll have time to count my blessings, work on my shortcomings, and live fully and richly in The Now. Do I believe that what I am meant to know will come to my knowledge if I practice the Eleventh Step — praying only for the knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry that out? Today I Pray May I take my direction from the Eleventh Step — and not fall into my usual habit of making itemized list for god of all my pleas and entreaties and complaints. May I no longer second-guess God with my specific solutions, but pray only that His will be done. May I count my blessings instead of my beseeching. Today I Will Remember Stop list-making for God. ************************************ One More Day Bitterness and anger seem to be very closely related and are interchangeable words for the same emotion. – Robert Lovering Bitterness and anger don’t arrive out of the blue when there is a health change. Chronic illness doesn’t cause these reactions, but it may bring these and other feelings to light. If negative emotions and attitudes cause us pain or embarrassment, if we are unhappy with ourselves, it may be time to take a personal inventory. How do we act toward other people? What do we expect? Do we create our own problems? We can change negative into positives, but it requires time and great emotional effort. Our attitudes do improve when we want to change, when we’re willing to grow, and when we’re patient with ourselves. I can begin today to change my negative emotions by admitting them and asking for the help I need. ***************************************** One Day At A Time BALANCE SHEET “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” Harry S. Truman Before I came to OA, I kept an emotional account of all my positive actions. I didn't really do that many good things, but the few I did were meant to show how great and kind I was. I even “wrote down” smiles, talking politely, giving a hand in the house, or filling in at work. I expected a great reward one day for all of my good actions ~ especially considering all of the things I put up with. I wanted people to speak well of me. I wanted people to grieve in great sorrow at my funeral for losing the fantastic person I was. Because I felt I never got back half of what I had put into this balance sheet, my resentments started to block me from acting nicely. Why help out, when nobody ever does anything for me? I didn't have an honest focus on reality. I felt worn out, bitter, used and angry. Why was I never paid what I deserved? I learned in OA that I have a terminal disease which will kill me sooner or later -- if I do not change my thinking and acting. I am powerless over this disease. The only thing I can do is to admit I’m powerless and surrender. As I see it, this disease is the primary reason I have gotten into trouble all my life. I am self-centered, bitter, immature and insecure. Before I entered these rooms, I didn't know how to have a real friend, or brush my teeth on a daily basis. In this program, I learned that I am worthy, loveable, and an ordinary woman -- with my positive and negative sides -- just like everyone else. When I am accountable today to God as I understand him, I do not need an emotional balance sheet. I do not need to grow bitter or hate other people. One day at a time... Because I have so generously been given a new life in this program, I choose to give service to my homegroup and to give time and patience to my sponsees. I choose to give of myself, for that does not have a price, in money or in diplomas. I no longer need the credit for what I give. ~ Trine ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word 'God' brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With this rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We look upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, 'Who, then, made all this?' There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. - Pgs. - 45-46 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Our freedom lies in recognizing the threefold illusion of this disease--mind (I can handle it), desire (it feels good), and flesh (I need it). These are all illusions which we soon will be liberated from. May I surrender my illusions about the 'goodness' of mind affecting chemicals for myself and any addict / alcoholic. Forgiveness Today, I am willing to take a leap of faith into a process of forgiveness. My willingness to consider forgiveness as an option says that I want more out of life and relationships, that I am engaged and alive. I am willing to feel, to love and be loved. This implies that I value myself more than I value winning, prevailing or revenge. Forgiveness is the ultimate statement of self-love. If I love myself I don't want to do things to hurt myself. Some things aren't within my control but forgiveness is. I can't always make sure I don't get hurt but I can have much to say about how I react to getting hurt. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Life is too short to spend it miserable. An excellent way to abate misery is to look at what you are blessed with. Unclench your angry fist, hold it up, and use your fingers to name five things you are grateful for. (P.S. we mean now!) _______________
March 17 Daily Reflections MYSTERIOUS WAYS . . . out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does "move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105 After losing my career, family and health, I remained unconvinced that my way of life needed a second look. My drinking and other drug use were killing me, but I had never met a recovering person or an A.A. member. I thought I was destined to die alone and that I deserved it. At the peak of my despair, my infant son became critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors' efforts to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts to block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped working. I was left staring into God's eyes, begging for help. My introduction to A.A. came within days, through an odd series of coincidences, and I have remained sober ever since. My son lived and his disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced me of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Today my son and I thank God for his intervention. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day A. A. also helps us to hang onto sobriety. By having regular meetings so that we can associate with other alcoholics who have come through that same door in the wall, by encouraging us to tell the story of our own sad experiences with alcohol, and by showing us how to help other alcoholics. A.A. keeps us sober. Our attitude toward life changes from one of pride and selfishness to one of humility and gratitude. Am I going to step back through that door in the wall to my old helpless, hopeless, drunken life? Meditation For The Day Withdraw into the calm of communion with God. Rest in that calm and peace. When the soul finds its home of rest in God, then it is that real life begins. Only when you are calm and serene can you do good work. Emotional upsets make you useless. The eternal life is calmness and when a man enters into that, then he lives as an eternal being. Calmness is based on complete trust in God. Nothing in this world can separate you from the love of God. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may wear the world like a loose garment. I pray that I may keep serene at the center of my being. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Only God Is Unchanging, p. 76 "Change is the characteristic of all growth. From drinking to society, from dishonesty to honesty, from conflict to serenity, from hate to love, from childish independence to adult responsibility--all this and infinitely more represent change for the better. "Such changes are accomplished by a belief in and a practice of sound principles. Here we must needs discard bad or ineffective principles in favor of good ones that work. Even good principles can sometimes be displaced by the discovery of still better ones. "Only God is unchanging; only He has all the truth there is." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Is it Easy? Practicing principles There's no "softer, easier way," we're told. If so, why are we also urged to embrace the slogan "Easy Does it?" Which is right? Both are right, because they express two different ideas. The softer, easier way doesn't work because it grows out of self-deception and falls short of a thorough working of the program. "Easy Does it" works because it describes an approach to action that is relaxed, confident, and careful. The person seeking an easier, softer way usually avoids taking some of the steps that are considered necessary in maintaining sobriety. It's a way of trying to win without doing sufficient work. The person following the "Easy Does it" principle pays attention to every detail, but carries on without reasonable haste or excessive loafing. In a spiritual sense, "Easy Does it" also means letting the Higher Power carry the load. At all times, however, we must continue to make choices and bear responsibility for our actions. I'll be relaxed and confident while carrying on a full day's activity. There is always time to do things the right way. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Skill to do comes of doing.---Ralph Waldo Emerson Often, we just want to sit and do nothing. And why not. We go to meetings, work the Twelve Steps, read, make new friends. All this takes energy and means taking risk. Haven't we earned the right to just sit and take it a break from it all? No! In the past, we avoided life. Now we're becoming people of action. We take risk. We're becoming people who get involved in life. We practice caring about people and caring about ourselves. At times, we may complain, but we do what is needed to stay sober. We gain skills by doing. why? We do it to save our lives. How? By trusting. We now trust that our Higher Power and friends will be there for us. They will help us push past our fears. As we practice daily how to stay sober, our skills grow. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, Yours is a spirit of action. Allow me to become skilled at being active. Action for the Day: Today, I'll work at being active and alive. Maybe I'll start a new friendship or try a new meeting. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning. A woman who is loved always has success. --Vicki Baum Being loved, and knowing that we are loved, assures us of our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms us as participants in the bigger picture. And all of us need to know that we count--that what we say and do matters to others--that we are contributing in an important way. Often we feel unloved, however. And we search for love. We may have begged for love and still didn't feel it. We have probably become very self-centered in our search. Fortunately, the program helps us to give love to others; the paradox is that love is returned, tenfold. The wonders of love are many. Love is a healing balm for wounds. And it nurtures, both the one loving and the one loved. Love is an energizer. It spurs us on to successes in work and in play. Love multiplies. If we aren't feeling loved, we can love someone else--and love will visit us, too. We can help the women in our lives find the successes they deserve. The confidence to tackle new situations is packaged in the gift of love. We need to help one another count. My love of another is a contributing factor in her success. Her loving gratitude will enhance my own endeavors. I will take a moment, today, with a friend who needs my love. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Foreword To Second Edition Figures given in this foreword describe the Fellowship as it was in 1955. This was the substance of A.A.'s Twelve Traditions, which are stated in full on page 564 of this book. Though none of these principles had the force of rules or laws, they had become so widely accepted by 1950 that they were confirmed by our first International Conference held at Cleveland. Today the remarkable unity of A.A. is one of the greatest assets that our Society has. p. xix ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ME AN ALCOHOLIC? - Alcohol's wringer squeezed this author--but he escaped quite whole. My growing inward unhappiness was a very real thing, however, and I knew that something would have to be done about it. A friend found help in psychoanalysis. After a particularly ugly one-nighter, my wife suggested I try it, and I agreed. Educated child of the scientific age that I was, I had complete faith in the science of the mind. It would be a sure cure and also an adventure. How exciting to learn the inward mysteries that govern the behavior of people, how wonderful to know, at last, all about myself! To cut a long story short, I spent seven years and $10,000 on my psychiatric adventure, and emerged in worse condition than ever. p. 384 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers." Despite this certainty, it is nevertheless true that few subjects have been the cause of more contention within our Fellowship than professionalism. Caretakers who swept floors, cooks who fried hamburgers, secretaries in offices, authors writing books--all these we have seen hotly assailed because they were, as their critics angrily remarked, "making money out of A.A." Ignoring the fact that these labors were not Twelfth Step jobs at all, the critics attacked as A.A. professionals these workers of ours who were often doing thankless tasks that no one else could or would do. Even greater furors were provoked when A.A. members began to run rest homes and farms for alcoholics, when some hired out to corporations as personnel men in charge of the alcoholic wards, when others entered the field of alcohol education. In all these instances, and more, it was claimed that A.A. knowledge and experience were being sold for money, hence these people, too, were professionals. pp. 166-167 ************************************************** ********* He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe. --Marcus Aurelius I have learned what a heart full of gratitude feels like. If you make yourself a doormat, you will be stepped on. --American Proverb The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. --Marcel Proust The Way isn't something that can be put into words. You have to practice before you can understand. You can't force things, including practice. Understanding is something that happens naturally. It's different for everyone. The main thing is to reduce your desires and quiet your mind. --Master Hsueh Within man is the soul of the whole; the wise silence; the universal beauty; to which every part and every particle is equally related; the eternal One. --Ralph Waldo Emerson ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SAINTS "The saints are the sinners who keep on going." -- Robert Louis Stevenson At times I do not want to carry on; I do not want to fight anymore for truth and freedom; it seems so much easier to "give up " and agree with everybody --- but I know, deep inside myself, this is not true. At times the disease speaks to me and tells me to "give up" and everything will be okay --- perhaps have one drink, don't rush off to so many meetings, get what you can when you can! It all sounds so tempting, but I know that it does not work. Sobriety works! The struggle and pain to act responsibly in my life is paying off and it does get better. I am not going to give up. My life is worth more than a quick fix! Lord, let me know that true courage is working through the pain. ************************************************** ********* "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalms 55:22 "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalms 56:3 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:12-13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We have been given a treasure of talents which should be accepted with responsibility and gratitude. Lord, may my gifts flourish in great faith and charity so that they may also benefit others. Love who you are, for who you are, God loves. Lord, help me to never abuse myself with self pity or excess, emotionally or physically, so that I may live my life to the fullest according to Your Will. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today True Courage "Those who make it through these times show a courage not their own." Basic Text p. 82 Before coming to NA, many of us thought we were brave simply because we had never experienced fear. We had drugged all our feelings, fear among them, until we had convinced ourselves that we were tough, courageous people who wouldn't crack under any circumstances. But finding our courage in drugs has nothing to do with the way we live our lives today. Clean and in recovery, we are bound to feel frightened at times. When we first realize we are feeling frightened, we may think we are cowards. Were afraid to pick up the phone because the person on the other end might not understand. We're afraid to ask someone to sponsor us because they might say no. We're afraid to look for a job. We're afraid to be honest with our friends. But all of these fears are natural, even healthy. What's not healthy is allowing fear to paralyze us. When we permit our fear to stop our growth, we will be defeated. True courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to walk through it. Just for today: I will be courageous today. When I'm afraid, I'll do what I need to do to grow in recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Love is always open arms. --Leo Buscaglia There is a story about a boy who left home and dishonored his father by spending a large amount of money on fast and reckless living. When the boy's money ran out, he was faced with the prospect of returning home to face his father, knowing the father had every reason to be disappointed in him. Filled with fear and shame he approached his home, his mind racing with words of apology. Before the boy could say a word, his father rushed to him with open arms and hugged his lost son in joy and love. Have we done this? Have we found it in our hearts to approve whatever a loved one does, even if we would have wanted something different? Love like this is the highest kind of love. It finds joy in others no matter what, because it recognizes the freedom of those we love, and doesn't chain them to our own wants. It is the same kind of love God has for us. Are my arms open today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The reward of friendship is itself. The man who hopes for anything else does not understand what true friendship is. --Saint Ailred of Rievaulx The comfort of a true friend in a time of trouble, the strength we sense in being with someone who truly knows us, the affirmation of life that comes with enduring friendships - no other experience is like these. Recovery, once our addictive behaviors end, is mostly through relationships. In this program we are developing a friendship with ourselves, with other men and women, and with our Higher Power. True friendship happens when we lower our guard and let our feelings show. It happens when we listen without judgment. It accumulates over time in many little experiences with someone. There is friendship in returning to someone when we feel offended or hurt so the relationship can be repaired - and in returning to him when we have been the offender. Sometimes friendship means humility, or accepting our worthiness to be forgiven. The development and deepening of our friendships, with other men, with women, and with ourselves sustains us in recovery. Today, I will be true in my friendships. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. A woman who is loved always has success. --Vicki Baum Being loved, and knowing that we are loved, assures us of our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms us as participants in the bigger picture. And all of us need to know that we count--that what we say and do matters to others--that we are contributing in an important way. Often we feel unloved, however. And we search for love. We may have begged for love and still didn't feel it. We have probably become very self-centered in our search. Fortunately, the program helps us to give love to others; the paradox is that love is returned, tenfold. The wonders of love are many. Love is a healing balm for wounds. And it nurtures, both the one loving and the one loved. Love is an energizer. It spurs us on to successes in work and in play. Love multiplies. If we aren't feeling loved, we can love someone else--and love will visit us, too. We can help the women in our lives find the successes they deserve. The confidence to tackle new situations is packaged in the gift of love. We need to help one another count. My love of another is a contributing factor in her success. Her loving gratitude will enhance my own endeavors. I will take a moment, today, with a friend who needs my love. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Empowering You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself. Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice. How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting others and ourselves. When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that persons future rests on our ability to advise him or her? Thats standing on shaky ground - not the stuff of which recovery is made. When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That its not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact? When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person cant do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing? What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves? Do we believe in others and ourselves? Do we give power to people - including ourselves - and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility? We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. Im sorry youre having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like youve got some feelings going on. I know youll work through them and come out on the other side. Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we dont care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work. To believe in people, to believe in each persons inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others. Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others - and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves. Today I know I have a right to be alive and happy and full of joy. Today I trust that I am where I am supposed to be, and am moving in the right direction. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Cherish Hope It was a beautiful city in Idaho. The lake that ran alongside the highway was so clear and blue, I pulled the jeep to the roadside just to stop and stare. The air was clear. The city felt light, airy, buoyant. It’s name was hope. I didn’t stay long. I didn’t need to. But I needed to drive by, drive through, pause for a moment to remember another important power to discover and cherish on our journey. Hope is airy, almost intangible, yet if we don’t have it, we know it. Hope is simple. Clear. Light. Our hearts, our souls, need a good glimpse of it every so often, just to keep us going. Even those times we can’t have what we want, we can be open to seeing its light shining unexpectedly in another direction, like this small town that caught my eye. Cherish hope. It adds buoyancy to the spirit, lightness to the day. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t avoid the void I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee. “I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said. when the waiter asked if he could take her plate. All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story. She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void. There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.” In all the busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.” It’s an empty space in our lives. The void can be a small space in our lives– lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended– maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives has moved away. Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there. Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life. God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity. ****************************************** In God’s Care You have to have a talent for having talent. ~~Ruth Gordon Each of us brings different gifts along on our journey. We all have a variety of talents We don’t however, always know how to use them. Some people seem to know how to put their talents to good use. Many of us botch them until we get help from God, who gave them to us. Each of our talents has a purpose. We weren’t given them by accident. We all have talents. And, of course, combinations of talents. But we don’t live up to our potential without God’s direction. I put my talents in God’s hands so that I can live at full capacity. ****************************************** Permission To Feel Pushing Away Emotions Throughout our lives, we may experience emotions that disturb or distress us. Often, our first reaction is to push our feelings away. We may say, “I don’t want to think about that right now, I’ll think about it later” and we bury our emotions, deny the validity of our feelings, or distract ourselves with other concerns. But the diverse emotions you experience are neither good nor bad—they are simply a part being human. Choosing not to experience pain, anger, or other intense feelings could cause those feelings to become buried deep into your physical body. There, they may linger unresolved and unable to emerge, even as they affect the way you experience the world. Allowing yourself to experience all of your emotions rather than push the more painful ones away can help you come to terms with your feelings so you can experience them and then move on. It is possible to bring forth the old feelings you have pushed aside and experience them in a safe and enriching way. It may sound silly to set aside time to feel your old wounds that you haven’t dealt with, but this can be a very beneficial healing experience. Find a safel place and pick a time when you can be alone. Make sure that you feel secure and comfortable in your surroundings. Bring to mind the circumstances that originally triggered the emotions you’ve been pushing away. You may need to revisit these circumstances by reading relevant entries in your journal or using visualization to relive your past. Once you have triggered your long-denied emotions, let yourself feel your feelings, and try not to judge your reactions. Cry or sound your emotions if you need to, and don’t block the flow of your feelings. Allow any thoughts that are connected to your emotions to surface. As you release the feelings you have pushed inside of you, you will find yourself healing from ! the experience associated with these emotions. When you deal with your feelings directly, they can move through you rather than staying stopped up in your body as emotional blocks that can sometimes turn into disease. Acknowledging your emotions, instead of pushing them away, allows you to stay emotionally healthy and in touch with your feelings. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “Lead us not into temptation,” we pray, for we know with certainty that temptation lurks around the corner. Temptation is cunning, baffling, powerful — and patient: we never know when it will catch us with our guard down. Temptation could come in the siren song of a four-color advertisement, the fragment of a half-remembered song or, more obviously, in the direct urgings of another person. We must remain forever vigilant, remembering that the first drink gets us drunk, that the first obsessive bite will likely trigger an overeating orgy, that the first roll of the dice could well destroy our lives. Am I aware of my number one priority? Today I Pray God, lead me out of temptation — whether it is the jolly-but-alcoholic abandon of my peers at a special-occasion celebration, the pressure from my friends to “get in the spirit” of a party, the familiar aura of an apartment where joints are passed around, the sound of rattling dice, the smell of a bakery. May I know the limits of my resistance and stay well within them. May my surrender to the will of God give a whole new meaning to that old phrase, “Get in the spirit.” Today I Will Remember Get in the spirit. ****************************************** One More Day Time is lost when we have not lived a full of human life, time enriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer “I’ll never make it through today!” While we all may have had that thought from time to time, we did live through that day to rise the next morning and greet the new day. Time can go by very slowly when we are thinking of one but ourselves. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by fear of an uncertain future. We may even feel that we have been deserted by our friends and family in a time of need. When overwhelmed with these helpless feelings, we can turn to our Higher Power for comfort and understanding. Knowing we don’t have to work through the details of our lives alone not only comforts us, it fills our minutes and days with positive thoughts and actions. My Higher Power lends me strength to carry me through.
