Since coming to Japan (I've lived here half my life now) I've always found Japanese women beautiful. I've always had a terrible porn addiction however ..... I am very social and frequently went out to clubs and Bars around Tokyo and Yokohama to pick up random women. After sex and they had gone home I would be straight on the computer masturbating to porn. This pattern didn't seem bad until I got married and had kids. And then... typically in Japan women tend to be no longer interested in sex. And my porn addiction got stronger and stronger until it just took over my mind. What do I do here with NoFap and no Sex?? Anybody else experience the same? Now....Japan is a strange country. Wives know that you are probably getting it from somewhere they just don't wanna hear about it and keep the family close and the money flowing. I do have a couple of sneaky contacts but my porn addiction tends to override it.
A sexless marriage and porn addiction are not only a problem in Japan, many in America (myself included) have suffered the same fate. So why fight the addiction if your wife is sexless anyway? Who knows, maybe some simple porn on occasion could even help keep your marriage intact right? At least that was my thinking not long ago. But there are two major problems with that thinking: 1) It won't stay simple. PMO addiction is like any other addiction, it's progressive. The vanilla porn you enjoy won't be enough soon. In order to get that extra-special dopamine hit you get from PMO you will seek out ever more extreme stuff and end up going down a very dark road. In the end you will be seeking out stuff that once would have had you recoiling in disgust and even horror. Then even that won't be enough, you will seek out real life experiences to match your porn preference. Some on here have spent tens of thousands, sometimes life savings, in pursuit of their fantasy. Real life won't compare, sex with the woman you love will be as exciting as watching paint dry. You could easily develop ED outside porn and the false excitement it brings. 2) Actual brain damage. MRI scans showing a porn addicts brain as indistinguishable from a cocaine addicts brain scared the shit out of me. But the brain can recover...up to a point. But like an alcoholic that's developed what used to be called "wet brain", you can do so much damage that you've passed the point of no return. Check Y. Tube for "Your brain on porn" videos, they literally scared me straight on PMO. So what to do in a sexless marriage? That's a problem that some men have had to tackle for hundreds of years before us. The difference is they didn't have porn in their pocket. My plan is to do what our forefather did - you seduce your wife the old fashioned way, take cold showers, divorce your wife and start dating again, or if at the very end of the day physical relief is needed, you do what is needed but it must not include porn. Nothing should be done until after a hard reset period, no PMO, no wanking at all in fact, it allows your brain and body to heal and resync again. I'm in the middle of this process right now, it's difficult at first, but the urges fade away , the physical and mental changes are real and positive. I think you came to the right place here, there is a lot of help and wisdom here. Be wary though, every piece of advice should be taken with a grain of salt and thought through. I've run into a (very) few here that were exercising their own demons and not helpful to my recovery - the "ignore" feature is as close as we have here to a "block" function, good luck.
Why don't the women in Japan have sex after marriage? Are they not human beings or something over there?
Not all but a large majority will stop. Its mainly after kids, you became more like a house mate than a lover. I even sleep alone in my own room. When I speak to other Japanese, they are like yeah that's how it is most the time. What strange is that she still walks around the house naked after coming out the shower, but that's more of Japanese thing really. They have on Onsen culture, go to any private sports gym. Middle age men are just stridin' naked, you'd think they'd a least put on some underwear. Sex is very low priority for Japanese. Even before marriage, theres not much enthusiasm with sex here. They are just doing it to keep you happy.
I've heard though that in Japan, pornography is very prevalent and much more widely accepted than some of the Western countries. Is this true? And if pornography is everywhere in Japan, how does it turn into a sexless marriage? It just seems like a contradiction But yea, I did some reading last night about the "sexless marriage" situation in Japan. And I came across some information about what you just mentioned "seeing each other as housemates". I guess just from a purely biological level, women in Japan don't get urges or something.
The porn industry is very big in Japan, however it is simply business. I have probably had sex with around 25-30 Japanese women lol (not really counted) and I remember just one - ONE only that was actually horny and couldn't keep her hands away. The rest had no issues getting naked but they just lied there, waiting for it to happen. The most irritating position is Cow-girl. 99% Japan do not know what to do on top. It kills me every time, I think "Come on". Like I said I do have my sneaky sex contacts but its in frequent. One good thing is I am very active in clubs etc. I am a Karate black belt and assistant sensei, I complete in tournaments etc. I am also a musician, I often do live shows around Tokyo. This really helps me get away from the PC and porn.
Interesting, well thanks for sharing more about the culture in Japan. I never would have guessed things would be like that haha That's cool though you have some other experiences you participate in. Well, maybe some day I will travel to Japan and see how things are for myself.
