Day 4 Kind of getting dement …to post last two days in the wrong group. Lol. Anyway. I stated: Day 3 Feeling miserable. Not in spirit but physically as a result of excessive edging. Taking days again and needing ibuprofen. How stupid to destroy oneself like this. I know the drill a couple more days and the physical impact subsides and then gradually I get better. I have insights and important realizations but now I first need to deal with feelingmiserable.
Now day 4 little better. But I can feel my deeds. At same time I have no judgement anymore or guilt or anything I used to have which I see as a good thing. Because I can clearer see what there actually is. Can clearer realize and also make clearer progress. I used to go through endless cycles of “failing” and feeling bad and promises and never seeing what’s really happening. Then falling again over what I promised not to do… How much it takes to mature and grow out of a problem. I feel clearly that I do even when I feel the consequences physically right now and my brain being affected. But I am clear about that it’s passing and that there is progress.
Day 5. Things get lighter again. I am a spiritual person. Lots of repentance today helps always to lighten and to shift energies and karma. each time is different. Each time the realizations gained are valuable and form the base to get out. what I do enjoy is that since a while I feel a choice. Until a couple years back even I didn’t feel this yet. I exercised it sometimes. But not consequent enough. But it’s an important element. i have others I developed and will report as I go as I believe the combination of all of them is the way out.
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Day 02 checking in. New month, new opportunities, let's make the most of each day. I feel motivated, energized, I still have some brain fog but I know it will go away with time, I just have to keep the streak going.
