As said in the title, I’m currently on day 375 of no fab, but I really need advice on what I should do next. Around day 200 or so, I started to masturbate while I was sleeping, and I really had no control over this, and no way to stop it. This went on for a couple of months before I realized that it become a huge problem. I did some research, and apparently it might be something called sexsomia but I’m not 100% sure. I don’t know if this would count as a relapse, but it stopped happening a while back which I’m glad about. But pretty recently, I’ve been getting really bad urges, like I’ve been trying to hold it in, but it just hurts to hold it in and I end up masturbating. I feel like each time I masturbate, it gets worse and worse but I’m not even sure what I should do, like if it’s okay to keep masturbating, or if I should try to just hold it in, and wait for it to pass. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I haven’t once relapsed to porn throughout this entire journey, but I still need some advice on what I should do next. Should I completely stop masturbating, or is it okay to do it, as long as it’s in moderation? I’d rather quit all together if I’m being honest, but it feels so much more of a challenge than when I first started no fab. I feel like if I keep masturbating, I’ll just slowly go back to my own ways, and get back to porn eventually, which I really want to avoid at all costs.
Can I just say we'll done! That you haven't watched porn in all that time shows real dedication,I don't know the answer to your question but from what I've read I think some Try not to masturbate at all for some time but I don't think you need to do this permanently I think the porn is more the damaging part.I wish my porn addicted partner had your determination,good luck
Firstly, wow - that is a long time to be free of P, great job! If anything, I hope this demonstrates to you the legitimate experience and willpower you have in combating this. Don't let this hurdle throw you off too badly. You've learned quite a lot, and you can apply that here. Now, let's get into some of what you've said. There's likely a reason you've experienced these urges return. Think about what this may be, as this could be beneficial in identifying potential triggers that can cause you to experience such strong urges. However, these are natural. I'm afraid you might be correct in your theory that this will get worse if you continue to give in - as this will only strengthen several of the neural pathways you've been rewiring and it is a risk that it could lead you dangerously close to a P-related relapse. Even after such an amount of time, nobody is immune. That is why people who struggle with alcoholism still attend meetings and practice restraint on a daily basis for decades after beginning their program. There's no shame in this, and as you go on, it will become something you're more capable of handling smoothly. I hesitate to say it gets easier, because some days are, and some days aren't. In all honesty, you may have answered your own question in your post. I believe abstaining from M would be beneficial for you, as you do not want to strengthen / revive these pathways you've worked so hard to control. In people without a history of P addiction, M/O when done in moderation is healthy, but the danger for people who suffered from P addiction is that this often is the pathway that leads to a full-on relapse. If you feel like that may be a risk, you must take it seriously and find ways to combat these urges. The DeltaFosB chemical in your brain, if I've understood the science correctly, is one of the main factors in why it feels so difficult after. This chemical essentially makes it easier for your brain to override your sense of rationality and logic, leading to binges of this negative behavior. P itself directly sabotages our primitive reward center, and undoing that effect often takes several years if not more. That's not to say it doesn't get better, however these risk will be present for some time. DeltaFosB is reported to remain active for 6-8 days following activation. Hence why the first week is always the most difficult. But the most important thing you can do is to take it one day at a time. You don't need to imagine any specific degree of time without M/O. You just need to keep going for one day. Or the next 15 minutes.
Thanks for the response I know it’s a tricky subject, but I think your right. The main part of no fab is quitting porn, which I’ve managed to get past, but I’ll try my best with staying away from masturbating from now on. Also, good luck to your partner, if I could suggest anything, that partner really needs the determination to want to stay with you, and change for your sake and his. It’s really about the life style and mindset you go into it that really matters, and quitting porn of course. It’s a real struggle, but the life-changing rewards far outweigh all of it.
Thanks for the advice It really helped me see this from a different perspective. Seems like the battle will just have to go on, I’ll probably need to find more ways to combat my urges, so that I don’t risk doing a full on P. relapse, which would be the worst scenario for me. It’s also a good idea if I look into any possible triggers, and get rid of those as soon as possible. That could be another possible cause to all of this.
That 'worst scenario' for you was every day of your life prior to recognizing and taking steps to better yourself and abstain from P-use. We're all human. Don't focus on 'when I fall,' focus on 'how I go forward.' And one of the best ways to take that is just to take it one day at a time. You'll find ways to combat your urges. Maybe you'll take up exercising or reading, or you'll find some other form of healthy outlet in your work or other facets of life.
Thank you tbh he won't even admit its an issue,iam wrong for bringing it up so I can't even talk to him,I feel like once I love myself enough maybe I'll stop been so sad that iam not good enough for him anymore.Anyway I wish you every success you deserve it after your hard work ♥
