35 and Older Accountability Group

Reset here, will try to get focused!

 

Day 1 checking in.

 

Checking in... into double digits initial days though!

 

Day 233....still going strong.

 

have you ran some blood tests lately? if not I recommend you do so, I had malnutrition before and my life was hell. until I figured it out and have shown the results to my doctor.

 

Good on you Stelvio, you had a setback but are still up and running to beat this. You also have more info on recognising the dangers associated with stress.

 

Day 1 today - trying to get back on track

 

Reset again, back to day 0

 

Ive been terrible recently...been using P a lot as been in a mental health crisis of sorts but it's not been helping and only adding to my shame so going to try hard and keep away from it for a few days at least but hopefully longer

 

Reset for me! That was a good long streak and I felt for a while like I could go on forever.

A woman hit on me and it threw me for a loop this entire week. I had been getting to the point where my sexual interest was minimal and this reignited it with a fury. Just the feeling of being desired threw a switch in my mind. I put in a serious effort this week and multiple times kept myself from crossing that line just barely but I finally gave in today.

I'm trying to figure out what I can learn. My first thought was that because this had been getting easy, I got away from a lot of the things that got me here. Meditation, journaling, jazz I was still doing these things but with less frequency. I was on autopilot. I need to keep those things going even when I don't feel like I "need" them.

My second thought is why does my brain immediately connect desire with sex? Can I rewire it so that they are not so directly connected? Can it just be an interesting interaction without immediately thinking sex?

I have a great marriage, but I wouldn't say my wife desires me. It may be the young kinds, or the age of our marriage, or me. Ideally, I could fulfill my interest in being desired within the marriage, but when I try to rely on that, it leads to frustration (for both of us really). So it seems that the I need to get above being wanted in a sexual way.

I'm all ears for any feedback.

 

Day 1 checking in.

 

Hey mate, for starters, don't let it get to you. Focusing on the positives is best: you had a great streak and you can definitely do it again, and much more. The reaction following the encounter with the woman is perfectly understandable. Whenever a woman shows interest in us, our biology kicks in and says to us, "now's my chance to pass on my genes". As you mentioned, our desire is reignited and it takes an enormous amount of willpower to tame it at that point. One can try to distract and redirect oneself as best as possible but it's difficult; I've been there and it can be an issue. But experience will always be the best teacher, so at this point, I would figure out exactly what to do next time when you're in a similar situation. Adding more interests to your repertoire of activities and pursuing the ones you mentioned more intensely will definitely help as well. One last thing: in my experience, it gets easier and easier to "say no" after doing this for a while. The cravings might still appear but they'll disappear just as fast as they arrived. Keep on keeping on, we can all defeat this!

 

Thanks ctr, I really appreciate the advice.

 

Fellas, don't beat yourselves up about your resets. I learned this affirmation a while back:

"Every situation is positive when I look at them as opportunities for growth and self- mastery."

Keep evaluating and asking, "What did I do well? What can I do differently next time?"

Before this long streak, I had an 11 day streak followed by 2 days of self-loathing. I then decided I was no longer going to accept that behavior from myself and I haven't looked back since. I raised my own personal standards and refuse to compromise them. This is my longest no PMO streak in 20+ years. If I can do it, you can, too.

 

Day 3 - keepin' at it

 

Just checking in here. Still no PMO. 14 days so far. Am managing to deal with any temptation so far.

 

Hello everyone. Been lurking on Nofap for years. 45 year old male. Addicted since 10 or so. Think my best streak so far was around 13 days. I'm on 7 this time and I'm feeling like I got a good groove going. I didn't know this thread was a thing but I'll try to check in and get / give support as much as I can.

 

That's a tough few days according to a lot of journals. Stay strong and eyes forward. We're with ya!

 

the last few days were so exhausting at work while trying to blend in , starting a new career really sucks , but I guess the time has come to step out of my comfort zone

 

Slipped today. Not going to give up