Hi, my usage of pornography has been increasing over the past 10 days and I feel so bad... Normally I would only fap with my own imaginations, which is already bad, but now things have just gone even worse. I am disguised by myself. Why can't I just stop? I feel so desperate. I realize that urge typically hits at midnight, and it makes me hard to fall asleep. I really need to sleep but idk why urges kinda gave me insomnia. I know it may not be true, but urges really bother me while I'm on my bed. How do you guys cope with that? I just wanted to get enough rest. But now, I wasted my meaningful energy and time. It's hard and frustrating you know?
Hey there, how long have you had a problem with porn? And yes we feel like failures when we relapse but it's not the end of the story. We have to learn about how we can prevent the relapses from happening. Urges for me are more stronger at nights too and so I make sure I go to bed without the tool that I use to watch porn with (my laptop). I got rid of it for good so I can't access porn even when I want too. I deleted Instagram after being addicted to it for years. At first it was hard but I got used to not having it and now I don't think or desire Instagram. Urges will always be there and there are much stronger in the beginning. The more you abstain the urges will feel lighter and you will manage to control it. Urges are normal in life so don't think you are alone. It's not a secret that porn addiction does lead to many physical and mental problems. Insomnia, anxiety, no motivation etc these are all symptoms of a porn addict. I can't advise more than this without knowing more about you and your current lifestyle. 1) How active are you? Do you exercise? Not being productive or busy is really a recipe for disaster for many people. We will have alot of free time when we leave porn/masterbation behind. 2) How is your eating habits, do you eat healthy for the most part? Eating junk will fuel the addiction. 3) Are you hydrated? Being dehydrated makes one weak and tired too. This makes it easier for the addicted mind to get its hit of dopamine. 4) Do you smoke, drink or take drugs? These have been reported to lead to relapses. 5) Do you meditate? 6) Will you consider taking cold showers? This is a great benefit which kills urges as reported by many people on these forums. 7) Do you take supplement? You may be low on vitamins. Maybe get some blood work done to determine what your levels are. As you can see its not an easy thing to overcome. There are many aspects to this. Everyone is different. All the best
Hey, thank you for replying. I am 21 y/o and I wouldn't say that my pornography usage was a lot, maybe like 2 times a month. But recently I viewed porn like 3 times a week. So I think this is because recently I've been living alone... I exercise in the gym though like 2 times a week. But sometimes I feel like it creates a stronger urge afterward. I don't smoke and eat a lot of junk food, just a regular meal each day, and I also rarely drink alcohol. I take vitamin C and B sometimes. It's just recently I also find it hard to fall asleep and it's really bothering me (which eventually causes me to watch porn and masturbate), then I woke up having a headache and feeling tired. Thank you for writing this long though, I appreciate your words. May I ask how do you cope with urges?
I just started another streak 11 days ago and because it is still Ramadan I find fasting helps with urges. At the moment I can't exercise or go gym because of the fasting but I'm planning to go when Ramadan is completed. I just deal with the urges. I feel them and sometimes they are hard and I want to release but I push through. Just pure willpower. I'm not doing much regarding strategies to combat urges because of the fasting however I have accepted urges to be a part of my reebot. I used to feel overwhelmed with urges and then I would relapse. Now I close my eyes and try my best to not fuel the urges by fantasizing or willingly look for content that will arouse me even more. When Ramadan is complete I would like to work out twice a day. In the morning I'll go gym and evening I'll do a light work out at home. I want to drink 2-4 litres a day to avoid hydration. And because Summer will be here soon I want to try cold showers which has been highly recommended to kill urges. The only thing I did before I started this 11 day streak is gotten rid of my laptop. The laptop was my main source of accessing porn. I feel it's a little easier to manage the urges because I don't have the laptop infront of me. That is all I can say for the moment. But you can always find other ways to overcome urges. Try the strategies you find on the internet until you have one or two (or more) that will help you with managing urges. Good news is many have reported that urges will become much easier to handle the longer you abstain from porn and fapping but in the beginning it will be hard. The brain wants its hit of dopamine just like a drug addict spends all day planning on how and when to get high next. All the best
Happy Ramadan by the way! I am also happy for you to complete your 11 days streak. Yes, I totally agree with your points, I have to try to close my eyes and stay calm next time when an urge comes. It just bothers me when it won't go away for some time. Sometimes I just wish my brain would understand that dopamine hit from porn isn't natural and is toxic. Anyway, it's really nice talking to you. May I ask where are you from and how old are you? I am now trying to do the things that are passionate for me to stay away from boredom.
When you say "I need to stop watching XXX", you are giving yourself the solution there. The solution is "I", the individual. You must learn about yourself and how you can move past the habit because you truly want to be better with a powerful desire
The most power you can allow this thing is that it is just another habit, like the many others you have. You must reprogram that habit. That's the key and then sticking to the reprogramming very strictly.
Yeah, absolutely. I am trying to change these toxic habits into the ones that help me grow as a person, such as doing my hobbies. I just need to be consistent and stay committed which is something that I am still trying.
It's truly a mental game. One which sometimes you find very confident and also impossible. It's a game that needs to be analyzed as behavior change. Atomic Habits is a book to read about fixing and rewiring a habit, with many strategies you can attempt
