I can't begin to stomach your lack of perception. It simply isn't true. Facts don't stop most porn addicts... destroying marriages, families and society and many addicts don't stop because of "information"...facts. Literally the public health campaigns on heroine, cocaine, and unprotected sex Would"stop" if that were true. Many underdeveloped countries we have worked with and donated millions to Inform the public underneath the assumption that doing so would curb the maladies and it simply does not hold to be true. The opposite of sex addiction is real connection. Facts don't do this. Stopping is an act of self-love and caring. One must wish to heal, not harm themselves. It may be that for a while with the shock of an std ppl stop ( for a whike) but that alone doesn't cause momentum shift. I remember a guy I met in SA group told how even with an std he continued to act out. Have you never contacted an std? Fear has an impact yes but it's not deep enough long term.
OP says he's not uneducated so he's probably seen the pics of deformed STD dicks and went for it anyways so in his case facts didn't help. I wouldn't generalize, however. I don't do hard drugs, smoke cigs and almost never drink because I was shown demotivating examples of what those substances can do to a human before I got the chance to get into them. Sadly nobody taught me that porn can fry your brains too. You should focus on this then. What kind of assignments?
OP, it sounds to me like you use escorts as a way to skirt your intimacy issues. It's not the worst thing in the world to never have had one, but at your age, I think you should prioritize trying to have a genuine romantic relationship with a real woman. The only thing is that you'd have to let go of your expectations of what a relationship should be and just take it one day at a time at a rate you're comfortable with. Understand that the reason other adults seem to be able to reach intimate levels with new partners relatively quickly is because they have effectively been practicing since their teens. They can skip steps with new partners because they've already done it. You haven't. You need to be ready to try and have a relationship with more of a beginners mentally and take things slow as you figure it out. The whole fucking escorts raw thing sounds like a way to escalate and make the session exciting instead of just another empty experience.
Why don't you get an accountability partner and ban all of your device usage? Make the sites where you recruit these STD bags impossible. You only have one life man
Putting aside the risks of STDs associated with unprotected sex; as someone who once used escorts I think I can give you my honest opinion. The escort system is just too easy. Just call/text and presto a woman is available to have sex with you. Just show up at the hotel room and minutes later you are fucking someone. Unlike porn, the woman is real and you partake in a sexual act beyond simple masturbation. Unlike porn, you are the participant, instead of fantasizing that you wish you were the participant. However, prostitutes are just as addictive as pornography if not more so. They are far more costly financially. When the session is over and she has her next john over, you are back to realizing that that your value to her was simply transactional. Healthy sex requires effort as healthy sex is a two person endeavor that requires vulnerability / give & take from both participants. Escort sex teaches you the complete opposite of healthy sex, where the sex is always one sided and you are never vulnerable. Your creativity, imagination, ability to flirt and bond with a healthy woman is being destroyed as you have skipped all those steps of intimacy and went straight to the physical act of sex. Worse, it costs hundreds if not thousands of dollars of your hard earned money in exchange for having your life destroyed. A better life awaits is if we cease with the escorts and pornography altogether.
I've had sex with a few prostitutes and only one of them offered me without protection. Of course I refused, completely not worth it.
So what's your past? You go on about so many things and it all sounds complicated, and I'm sure it is. But, you have this "past," that you can't even open up about on an anonymous forum. Let it out, what is it. You seem to attribute it to this problem, and yet, you can't take it to the page and lay words to it and give yourself some distance from it, even though you claim it is the root of this. Just let it out. By the way, you need to stop viewing your particular sexual acting-out or addiction as particular or somehow unique. It's a way of romanticizing yourself and your problem, as if you are the only one with this one kind of problem. Tons of others have had it.
