Day 0 : Hello, i'm new to this thread. I'll try to update here and in my journal thread daily My first goal is to reach the 1st week, just recently binged and never got back in track, before i finally decided to get in here Wish me luck and good luck to y'all! Cyan : Feeling the benefits, or reaching a milestone ( 1st week, 2nd week etc... ) Green : Easy days Yellow : A required effort to break bad thoughts Red : Relapse is on the horizon, probably when i edged or had an uncontrollable urges. Unless i snapped myself back to reality
Day 26 I imagined sth today .. imagine the best person you know .. your role model .. who you think is very moral .. very careful .. very disciplined .. very diligent .. say what you want to say about him or her .. the list never ends .. in some sense .. you can not ironically imagine him or her in that situation of ours .. but for now imagine him or her in that situation .. p addict for few years or maybe more than a decade and having almost no control .. and he or her just found themselves in your or my body .. with all these urges .. devilish thoughts .. tornado-like emotions .. hardly any discipline at all .. what then you would imagine him or her doing in your and my position? .. I would pay 50 Dollars to see that movie you know .. to be honest .. I imagine them depressed .. lost .. full of shame or guilt .. maybe even jealous, full of anger and resentment .. wait wait .. this is the best person we know , right? .. even more .. I would imagine them helpless .. hopeless .. and could be even worse .. what would you imagine them doing next ? .. I would like to think about it more and continue tomorrow .. "Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair" [/QUOTE]
Day 42 it has been a tad bit harder recently due to complications in my life but nonetheless accountability and also keeping up to date is helping me along my journey thank you all for helping me out so much hope you guys are doing amazing as well
Today, I relapsed, but I'm confident that I will achieve a good amount of days. I'll achieve my goal of 7 days without losing my current progress!!!
P: 58 days M: 84 days O: 84 days * 5 PMO but no relapse * 1 MO but no relapse * Averaging 14 days on PMO nofap * 24 days straight nofap
Almost 40 days. The weather's gloomy here, and having zero sunlight is affecting my mood and productivity this week a lot. But I'm going easy on myself. Productivity will rise and fall, but my mental health and happiness is always the priority.
Day 33. I think content blocking apps are the best thing Ive done attempting to quit. So far the relapses have been a results of automatism, not strong urges. I blink while bored and suddenly im on soft or porn site. Now Im learning to reverse these harmful automatisms(word?).
Day 27 I wanted to talk today about sth .. when things become challenging just a bit .. and then my head starts to think about how easy it was before when I was sober for over 6 months .. it makes me feel weak .. and when I feel weak, I want to go back to pm .. but being in this same state exactly is how I got stronger at the first place .. to tolerate that I do not reach what I want when I want .. I agree it is childish to think that you always get what you want when you want .. you can get what you want when you put enough effort but I can not control the when .. I have to accept that .. I just have to focus on the effort .. and think logically .. and think in a clear way .. here is a thread of hope .. when I think clearly, slowly and logically about a challenge in front of me, the process becomes enjoyable even without reaching the goal .. I know I am on it .. I know I am getting deeper .. not yet to its bottom .. but I am on the way .. and there could be a moment when I forget about my goal, and I am just enjoying the moment .. here and now .. I feel at that moment I am being enriched by the experience .. either good or bad .. either easy or challenging .. it somehow always has to do with how I react to the situation and has very little to do with the situation itself .. it is just acting on the highest good that I know at the moment .. taking into account my situation, efforts, energy and goals .. it boils down to what I can do best at this moment in time .. even if it is only some baby steps .. with the right baby steps, I feel whole .. I feel no pain .. challenges turns into adventures .. sadness and hardships turn into growing .. "Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair" [/QUOTE]
I love you guys, today I noticed that the most beautiful girl in my job is interested in me. That's good, wish me luck guys. Day 1 (I guess) - Done. I'll achieve my goal of 7 days without losing my current progress!!!
Day 1 ( Easy ) : It was a pretty easy day, since i was also pretty busy around that time, so i guess one of the way to not relapse is to stick being busy Now onto the 2nd day
Uh oh, i almost edged. It may be not a relapse, but it's the first stage for a relapse. I need to break the thought, also the momentum to make my future days easier