I AM VERY TIRED OF SUFFERING

Well done Brian! I am doing okay. I hope you are proud of yourself for reaching out here and to a psychiatrist. Courage and action are no small things.

You are not perfect, and the good news is you don't have to be. You are loved and worthy to be loved. Take things one day at a time.

God bless

 

I'm glad you reach out for help when you need it. It's a very hard thing to do for most people...myself included. And nine days is wonderful! Keep that in mind the next time you feel it isn't possible. Keep building and rebuilding until you finish what you've set out to do. Focus on the positive (i.e., your successes and the pride they bring) and limit the relapses as best you can. The consistent effort will pay off only as long as you keeping pushing into the transformation. You got this. Proud of you, man. Keep up the hard work.

 

I cried seeing your words "I understand you". We all know that feeling. God blesses you.

 

I relapsed a bit today. No P. Just M...then later MO. The disappointment truly does hangs heavy. But my performance over the last two months has me excited for the new year (I'm hoping to go the entire year without P and limit MO to 1-2 times per month or less). My confidence is slowly gaining ground. Once you realize you can fight one day, you realize you can fight two. Then a week. Then a string of weeks. And so on. Just gotta keep momentum going and not let the negative voice in your head get to you (or is is that just in my head? Idk). I'm probably processing things in my mind aloud again, but I wanted to let you know that relapse happens. And it's painful. Every. Single. Time. But as long as you learn and grow, good things can happen. You build. Brick by brick. Wars are won in the trenches. Fight hard.

 

You life has so much more meaning. You have a long journey to experience and wonderful memories to remember. It is time to design your life the way you desire. Go get it!