Now what?

Part of the healing process involves stopping the addiction, the other half involves replacing that addiction with healthy things, you are not going to heal fast if you simply abstain from say PMO, you have to teach your brain natural healthy ways to get dopamine and start incorporating hobbies. Find good ways to spend your time.

 

I think it would help to clarify what it was you were trying to cope with in the first place. And then from there, just seeing whats the smallest thing you can do to work on that, or if it can't be worked on, coming up with some other healthier ways to cope. Reading, certain youtube videos, exercising or even just walking etc can be good alternatives. This website is for video games but it has a tool for figuring out new hobbies you might be interested in that I think is still relevant. https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool

 

Great question.

What you're talking about sounds like processing emotions, about the world and yourself, things you can control and thing you can't.

We can use anything like you say. It could be nicotine, or PMO, or eating, or even throwing ourselves at our work or just sleeping in.

All of those habits have one thing in common though, they can all be used, briefly or habitually, as a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Boredom, loneliness, fear of failure, fear of success, anxiety and so on.

The opposite of that then, is to process it in more healthy ways. What does this look like?
- writing down your thoughts in a journal
- building healthy habits
- creating a life plan and taking small steps each day to get there

It's a big topic. But from what I've read and practiced, it may be summarised as; doing what is right, not what is comfortable.

PMO can be used to avoid a lot of emotional challenges. Maybe starting there is key.

For me that's loneliness and boredom. If I have too much free time, and I'm not being social in real life, then there's a much greater chance for me to slip up with porn.

So the actions I take like studying at the library, or going to some social outing or weekend event - even if I'm going by myself, is key to me slowly overcoming those issues and leaving porn in the past.

I won't write any more lol - but I hope some of this helps!

For further reading from people who really know this stuff, I would recommend two books.

The Happiness Trap, and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.