I am so thankful to have found this forum and movement. I listen to a radio show every morning on the Cosmo channel on XM Radio. They were talking about the new movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt about porn addictions one day last week. One of the hosts mentioned that she had seen a documentary about ED happening because of internet porn. I found this site after some Googling looking for the documentary that she was talking about. I am a 37 year old gay male. I have been looking at porn and edging pretty much every night for about 20 years. I guess I never thought of it as an addiction, but I can see now that it is. I do not drink often or smoke, so I guess this is my vice. I have had a problem with ED and getting into the act of sex, but can get off to porn. It has made me doubt myself as a man because I have not had the urges that normal guys my age or younger have. Sex hasn't been that much fun to me and has felt more like a chore because I was not into it. There was also the fact that I could not stay hard long enough to really do anything, especially in the heat of the moment. How embarrassing is that? So... the detox starts today. I am really scared to break the pattern that has been going so long. I'm terrified, honestly. I don't know that I am strong enough for this, but we shall see. I am going to probably miss the long hours looking for that perfect man on cam or on a hook up site. I want to have a steady boyfriend who I want to be intimate with. I want to hold an erection for a long time and be able to be a top, rather than always being stuck on the bottom. I want to feel better about myself and being able to be intimate. I will do this. Please help me.
Fear is valid. If possible, and as we are able, we change that fear into a empowering energy. The fear of going backwards and existing in the murkiness of PMO impels us forward. We fear regression into the clouded mentality, the dehumanizing compulsion. What if we never emerge again? What if we are bounded to a hopeless life of PMO forever? Will we even expire at our computers, death by edging? Schrecklich! Fear wants to move us forward, fear yearns to take us out of that desolate future. Some of us fear finding out the truth about the depth and level of our addiction. To avoid the fear, we retrogress back into the addiction telling ourselves that we don't have a problem. We subconsciously protect our ego from what we fear is a catastrophic self-truth. But it's fear that keeps us victimized, chumped by our "favorite" porn websites. Like a gambler, we'll unwittingly give our entire life savings to the casinos. We are the ones who are building Las Vegas, and we're getting addiction in return. Holen Sie sich hinter mir!! In this case, fear propels us to the light of truth where we can freely and openly admit that we are addicted. Moreover, we refuse and even defy the undertow of the addiction to suffocate us. Overcoming fear in this manner is a redeeming act of liberation that blesses the very soul at its core essence. And, others benefit too. But I think we do best when we operate from a positive psychology perspective. We engage in the activities that make us thrive. If now dormant, we can enjoy the process of reviving those pursuits. The magnetism of what we truly love is part of the NoFap equation. What do we truly live for? What self-actualizing patterns and involvements fuel our highest creative peak experiences? Have we been able to genuinely and fully pursue those? Likely, the answer is nicht so, wie ich in der Vergangenheit - not like we have in the past. When the intense fascination of life returns, the fraudulent facade of PMO will be exposed, it's allurement distinctly paled by comparison. Halten Sie Ihren Kopf hoch und sich den sehr Himmel. Willkommen.
