Hello everyone, I'm doing this because I feel that it has taken over my life, I have enough mental problems to deal with as it is, I want to replace this time with something more productive for myself, which is another problem to overcome too. I want to replace it with something which makes me feel good and proud for a change. I won't go into details about perversion but it was getting bad. I'm low and this is a start. Hopefully this will last several months. Just a quick note to look back on. 00:00 - 24/8/15 Thanks.
Hey Dan, Welcome! Glad you're here. We need your support. Here are some suggestions that a lot of us have found helpful: 1. It's really important to take time and consider the reasons why you want to quit PMO. Write them down and review often. 2. Buddy, you (and I) have been designed and created a noble Man. So, take some more time and do some "good" fantasizing--Who will you be when you are free of PMO? How will you feel? What will you be able to do? What will people say about you then? Both # 1. and # 2. are your motivators, and can be used as thought substitutes when you get a porny thought or urge. 3. Try to get daily exercise that makes you sweat. Also, take cold showers to help reduce lust and clear brain fog. For too long, bro, we let our body and its demands rule us. Now it's time to show who the real boss is. 4. You can go into as many or as few details that you want. Sometimes, though, it's helpful to know if a guy is is/not married, student, living with his family or other people, or is living alone, etc. That's because some advice depends on your life situation. Anyway, use the internet only in public areas of your house, apt., dorm. Do not take your phone or laptop into your bed, bedroom, or bathroom. If you live alone, this fight will be a bit tougher, but definitely doable. 5. In any case, install porn blockers on internet access and use a random password. 6. Be completely honest with yourself about what triggers you. Lots of us delete and cancel not just porn stashes, but also Twitter, instagram, FB, tumblr, tinder, etc. 7. When I quit PMO and MO, I started getting wet dreams. Be clear that they do NOT count as an O, and don't break your streak or set you back in any way. Just don't fantasize about any sexual dream if you remember them in the a.m. Just let them go.... 8. Dan, we can't avoid seeing hot girls everywhere, including "innocent" tv, movies, internet sites. But we sure as hell can prevent staring or fantasizing. We have to, otherwise.... This is one tough battle. Nobody goes through it without sustaining bruises and wounds. There will be all sorts of emotions: anger, boredom, peace, fear, exhaustion, joy, discouragement, peace. All jumbled together. On many days we just have to soldier on, using common sense, will power, the help of our nofap brothers and, for lots of us, prayer and spiritual practices. Finally, determine your intentions. Most of us strive for noPMO: no looking at or peeking at porn or porn substitutes (bikinis, lingerie, etc.), no masturbating to the point of orgasm, and usually no edging. Then, set up a length of time for your first clean streak. Start easy, maybe for 3 or 7 days. Achieve your goal, give yourself a little, non-sexual reward, then add on your next length. BTW, this can last for years and years, not just "several months"! Post often, Dan, "in good times and bad." Nobody here will demean you; each of us has his own horror story. Ask anything, anytime. Peace, brother. Peace.
Thanks for the great reply Mike. Lots of very good advice, I'll try the cold shower thing, thats something which sounds great, not a fan of them but it would hopefully wake up my mind when in need. I like to exercise, I once biked a lot and stopped, I would like to start again. There is nothing better than the feeling after a good workout. I like to knock out press ups and lift. Porn blocker seems like a sensible idea, I will look into it soon. My sleep pattern is ruined right now, I could do with sorting that out. I think that porn had really affected the sleep, I could often go on for maybe 6 hours or so.... maybe more but usually 3+ hours. For the record i'm single + I live at home. My life is a big mess currently, I can take a guess and say i'm not the only in this situation. I will try to post daily. when I get an urge i'll come here.
Yes, Dan, PMO and MO can really screw with your sleep. When I was enslaved, I couldn't sleep more than a couple hours at a time, and I'd be tense and withdrawn. After being clean, I am now sleeping through the night and wake up ready for anything! I'm hoping the same for you, bro. Where I am (New York) the end of (maybe) your first day clean is almost here. Make tomorrow another good one. Talk later, brother. Peace. Mike
For the record, my post was misleading when I said "I could often go on for maybe 6 hours or so.... maybe more but usually 3+ hours" What I didn't say was that this was a typical masturbation 'binge' most typically through the night.
Well i've just reset.... I'm very mad and disappointed.. I need to learn to control myself. I feel so bad. I didn't use p but thats not the point.
I'm real sorry, Dan, for the pain and frustration. I see some good things, though. First, you're right back in the saddle and here among your bros. That's where we need to stay. Every one of us has relapsed and reset many many times. Second, you can be more knowledgeable as to what triggered your MO. Think about how it came about. In bed but not tired? In the shower? Bored out of your mind? A porny memory? Imagination just beat you down? Exhausted from fighting off temptations and just gave in for some "peace"? A response to building anger or resentment? Just plain old missing the pleasure of a good O? All these things and any others can be dealt with effectively. You can also prepare NOW for when the next attack comes. And it will. In a way, Dan, not using P is part of the point! That may well be a step forward for you. It's generally understood that the use of P can be harder to stop than the actual MOing. In any case, share whatever you like after giving the questions above some thought. Ask anything any time. Keep posting and keep reading. Wishing you peace, brother. Mike
