Breaking a promise to another person?

I would think a lot depends on the circumstances.

Was the promise made before you were exes? If so, that promise might be dissolved with the other promises of staying together and remaining faithful. Unless court ordered, we are not financially obligated to an ex, although we are morally obligated to support children even when not court ordered - that's what parents do.

Legally speaking, and perhaps morally, contracts under intoxication are not binding, and one party attempting to take advantage of another's inebriation is an abuse on their part, even; hence, such agreements have no foundation and are null.

I don't know why, but it also sounds like your ex secured this deal out of a certain desperation or codependent neediness - all that is no longer your baggage once you are exes or continue to be so.

If your ex was a wife who had disabilities, couldn't work, and for reasons you understood when you were together, couldn't support herself - AND - if the separation was your fault (cause you cheated or something), then I could maybe see some moral obligation to help out, but no legal one, of course (unles ordered), and there's no need to honor "lots of money...till death" (a tip off of her fear and neediness, perhaps) when you don't even have this for yourself.

 

Drunk or not, why would anyone ever make this promise? Let alone, why do you feel that you need to uphold it. Were you guys married? No, you aren't divorced. You don't owe her money. She is abusing you.

 

You are being abused even now, and the sooner it stops the better.

You should not even concern yourself any longer with what happens to her. If that bitch becomes a prostitute or kills herself none of that is your fault. Those are probably empty threats.

Stop giving her money and stop talking to her at all. Pretend she is dead and don't answer any of her messages. If when you move back to Europe she continues to make threats against you and you are seriously worried about being attacked or killed, you can get the police involved.

 

Did you know that even legal confessions of guilt are not admissible in court if given under duress? The two of you had an abusive relationship. I don't fully agree with SkyDoge that you should just not concern yourself with what happens to her. I for one care about anyone who becomes and prostitute and takes her life. What you should do instead is understand that whatever decision SHE makes is not your responsibility. Will it be emotionally difficult for you to face? Yes! But, if you are not emotionally healthy, your money does nothing but enable her to continue in unhealthy behaviors. It will forever be a vicious cycle. You made a commitment because of probable mutual manipulation. You two have a toxic relationship. Separate yourself as fully as possible and get healthy. Best wishes to you!

 

I agree with what you said, but I wanted to address this one statement. Does this hold true for Europe too? Which is where he and her are from. In USA, yes this holds true.

 

Oh yeah, that was kind of unclear, wasn't it? In the example you quoted, I wasn't trying to make a legal argument, but instead an analogous argument. It wouldn't matter if it was legal or legal in the U.S. because they didn't make a legal contract. I just meant that even the justice system understands when you are pressured into something. Therefore, since she persistently puts pressure on him, she is being unjust. I was using that lack of justice as a justification for him to not honor his previous commitment. Thanks for helping me clarify what I meant!

 

Oh okay! Then we are on the same page. I agree, she isn't entitled to anything of his. Nothing at all.

 

@Jirka

First of all congrats on 158 days. ;-)

I don't think that you are legally or morally bound to keep your promise.

A. She is abusing you.
B. You are not helping her even when you are sending her money.

Reason:

She knows that she misusing you, somewhere deep inside it hurts her too.
(Do you usually feel good after you hurt someone?)

Consider:

1. Bringing her on the right track. (point her into right direction)

2. Girls who are doing prostitution have usually low self-esteem and they are broken deep inside.

3. I would suggest you would take her to see psychologist (counselling).

4. Try to get her job.
-------
But make sure that you don't fall for her again...

This girl used to be in the sex industry too and she managed to escape it.

!!!TRIGGER ALERT!!!

https://www.youtube.com/user/ZuzkaLight

!!!TRIGGER ALERT!!!

Good Luck!