Unattached love

Need to get stuff out, so that I am able to deal with my feelings.
I recently moved abroad to the US from India for my PhD. Although I have spent only a week here, I know I will never feel at home here. I intend to go back, once my education is over and I am good enough to take a good Professor post in my country.
The worst thing that comes to my mind is when I talk to my parents. For their whole life, they have sacrificed and spent every bit of their energy on their children (me included). When I spent a year's time with them during the Covid lockdown, it was really good. Whatever problems come out way, they were happy with me being with them. I like it with them too. I have already spent a year apart, albeit only 5 hours away by flight. Now when I am here for a week, I feel it's not worth it to leave your parents. Especially for a place where things are hostile, crime is rampant (Baltimore : the Wire), and basically too much stuff that is not needed for living.
I considered this when I was deciding on whether to go for this offer or not. I gave it enough thought, but maybe I never considered their feelings, and expectations. They will not say this to my face, they are really good people, but I feel I have not done them justice. They are happy for me, they knew this was coming for like a couple of years. They helped me all the way along, selecting unis, writing the SOP, every small place they could have contributed.
I just want to be more with them. How is the future for us? I will become successful, that is certain. I will go back, that is also certain. I will earn what I think is appropriate for me, acquire skills, respect and be useful for the world, and my country. I love my parents a lot, and will be with them when I can.
Its just a matter of spending these 5 years apart. Maybe my PhD is another thing they are contributing to indirectly. I have traversed the path of unattached love, acquiring a PhD is the call of my inner power. A researcher is one of the definitions of me, this has to be done.

Cheers to everyone who is reading this. You guys are all good, strong, have enough will power to deal with anything. All of these things, addictions, unhappiness, challenges, are pathetically small against human will power and love. Peace.

P.S. I posted here because I feel lonely, even when I am with people. I am sorry if this is out of place.

 

Thats true mate. Nothing is automatic, and life might not be as fun that way.
Relationships are valuable. I think my parents know me better than I do. I have been talking with them everyday, and mysteriously all of my stress is extracted out.
I am feeling much better after writing all of this here. NoFap has been the place where I get to talk to brilliant people (like you), discuss and lead a better life. I love you guys so much!