Day 39 Though seemed to have kept the urge to fap under control I am afraid I am still a sex addict. I still spend a lot of time and energy on cam sites and only fans, which is obviously time that could be better spent elsewhere.
Day 56 clean on Monk Mode. Sexual thoughts pop up sometimes but I can ignore them. My advice for the day: Avoid stimulants when on you're on Nofap/Semen Retention. We all have something that stimulates us more. For me it's cacao or choclate. It's good for blood flow and circulation. It can cheer you up when you're a littlebit down, but like everything else it's easy to over consume stimulants when you feel down. Just be aware of that. I suggest you avoid any kind of stimulants. I took 3 pieces of choclate yesterday just as a little treat but I felt anxious, or got that feeling when you're about to get aroused. Choclate is know to be an "aphodisiac". So I didn't take anymore than that. Just because of that it took me 2 extra hours to fall asleep. I think when you're on nofap you can get extra sensitive to stimulants. When the brain is healing from PMO it's important to also avoid other types of addictions. When consuming stimulants it could slow down the healing process. It's interfering the healing process from dopamine overload. When we are bored we often think that it's bad and that we need to do something about it. But actually it's very healthy to be bored somedays or some periods of your life and that's totally fine. Our world is constantly trying to convince us to never slow down. We are overloaded to a point we are bathing (or drowning) in information. Things to avoid: coffee, tea (caffeine), choclate, sugars, and definitely alcohol, screen time, social media, smartphones, ..and much more.
I'm in a similiar state like yours. I haven't watch porn and masturbate but something inside me tells me that it's okay to watch porn and masturbate again even if I don't want to. It's because of COVID-19 pandemic that's been going on for over a year and I've been looking at hot pictures on Instagram lately. I thought that although I gain a lot of energy from nofap, I'm still in the same place as before nofap literally. I think the only way to spend those energy is by going outside but I can't due to covid. It feels like I'm in a prison, both mentally and physically.
Day 40. Yep, I relapsed because I'm in a really bad place right now mentally. Even so, I'm proud of my streak and I will continue this journey again. I need to make a routine because for the past 20 days I've been a lazy person, no wonder I'm always anxious. Hopefully I will eventually be stronger and have my anxiety decreased. Stay strong guys !!!
That's such a shame because you have done so well. You have every right to feel proud because you have given up your addiction for an equivalent of a lent period. Rebuild and comeback stronger
Day 57 on monk mode. This has been possible thanks to: "The Law of Consistency". Lay one brick a day. Not five. But one each day. Place this one brick down as perfectly as you can, and in a few months you have built a solid construction out of your consiscency, faith and determination to your mission. Tips of the day: Move your body as much as possible during the day, but don't over-do it.. Get outside. Get sunlight in your eyes. Do not use sunglases. Your eyes need that light so that the pineal gland can produce melatonin so you can get proper sleep during the night to fully recover. But the room must be completely dark for your pineal gland to produce melatonin. Close that door and cover that window with whatever you have. The darker the better. And make sure the room is cool. Open a window or something. If you have a fan, turn it on. The air quality will be better. A sealed room with air that "stands still" has poor quality and it has much more bacteria than a fresh room with air that moves around. Your brain and body deserve this as much as it deserves healthy fresh food. That will help you to produce testosterone while sleeping. Breathe fresh air and sleep for as long as you can to recover. Get that extra sleep especially the day after your workout. In 2019 I worked out so hard but slept just a few hours, just 2-5 hours each night. That burned me out and my testosterone levels were in the absolute bottom. I tried to change everything but I didn't care enough about the importance of resting. I had very high blood preassure from the stress that it caused. I was very emotional and cried of exhaustion. Everyting went better when I stopped that madness and slowed down for a longer period. Getting up early is good. But not if you need that extra sleep/rest to recover from physical activity. If you've been training hard you deserve to be lazy for a day (or two) and - you should feel good about it! Remember: Yin and Yang. Training and Resting must be perfectly balanced.
Congratulations! You're over 50 days now! If you have anything to share regarding how you've felt so far throughout your journey, feel free to do so. What you want to share and not share is totally up to you. This streak has been the easiest for me so far - and the longest. I feel like when you come to day 45-55 you can go on forever. I know it's very personal, every man is different, but this is how I feel like right now. What I realised today is that I've come to a point in my life for the first time, since I was a teenager, where I can Get it Up without some images on a screen, I don't even need fantasies.. and I can ignore these old images that pop up in my head and they don't affect me anymore. I feel more normal now than ever before. I'm not fully healed but this is only the beginning. This is walk the talk and I feel honest to myself. I can trust myself now.
Day 41 Bit of a mixed bag really. Not faping and don't particularly have the urge to fap but still spend a lot more time and energy on sites such as only fans and my free cams etc which should be spent on my more constructive activities such as reading etc. I'm lucky if I spend more than half an hour reading. At the moment due to my sex addiction life just seems to be passing me by. I really do hope I can get all this under control.
I still struggle with urges and temptations, but I've established to my self clearly that P is not an option and I can't negotiate with that rule, in the past I would give my self leeways and basically fish for P, and eventually I would relapse. Abstaining from PMO has given me a lot more energy and I have to find productive outputs for the excess energy, rather than wasting it awaay through purposeless internet scrolling and other self-destructive vices. I'm more present in conversations and not overthinking every words, that comes out of my mouth. Every now and again, the thought/emotion will come up to take a look at stimulating images, because a part of me tells me that the sacrifice is not worth it, but as I look at the progress I have made, I'm able to see these thoughts for the deceptions that they are, and that the part that is still attached to PMO needs to vanish in order for my real self to flourish. I am by no means a changed man, but the progess has been encouraging and I'll keep going.
