Hi, I am 29 years old, father of two wonderful kids and married to a beautiful wife. Still i am addicted to porn/pmo shit. Just writing it makes me realize how stupid it is. I was introduced to porn at the age of 15-16 by a friend. Have tried multiple times to become free, but never quite succeded. After some days or weeks i fool myself to believe that it is ok to read a story about a hot girl or whatever, and after a couple of days i end up falling back /relapsing. I have been cycling like this for the last ten years. Even now I considered pmo'ing just one last time while i was writing this - but fuck no. For a while i thought it was impossible to become free, until i started reading all your excellent nofap stories. (Super-encouraging to hear). After that i managed a 18day streak until i fell into that hot girl trap i described above. I have decided to do whatever it takes and that i now start to live my life like i want. For me, my wife and my kids. So fuck you pmo. Im your faptonite, and I dont pmo. Wish me luck! Hehe btw - love those nofap words you have invented!
Day 3 - so far so good. Got up 6am and started the day by reading here at the nofap forum. Had breakfast and read the news (usually i get up an eat breakfast in the car so that was quite unusual for me). Kissed my wife goodbye and left for work. Noticed that my eyes was on the search at work - and had to really be strict with myself and make sure i didnt look twice at some of the hot girls wearing summerdresses. (I think its ok to look once as that is just how we are set up by default- but not twice as it then is on purpose/staring and something i am in control of) Came back home from work 4pm and had a really nice afternoon with my family. After putting the kids to bed i finished some work outside the house and delivered back some equipment i had borrowed from a friend. And my wife. It feels very good when i forced my self to not look at other women at work - feels like im fighting for her or something. I need to stay focused the next couple of days to make sure i dont allow myself to say that a sneak peek is ok. I dont pmo.
Day 4 - what a crappy day. Just so low on energy. Struggled to get myself out of bed. Got to work and were just tired the whole day - and angry. Got so annoyed by some of the vendors that i order equipment from in my work as they charge me for stuff that im not suppose to pay for. Made me really pissed off and usually i handle that stuff well, but today i just was too unserious. Also, i have a trainee with me, a girl, and she requires a lot of follow up. She is nice and good looking but sometimes she just talks to much, and today i just pressed the ignore button. Rushed through the day like the hulk so that i was able to finish all my tasks. Felt like a hammer had been slammed to my head when i travelled home. Came back home, kept myself calm with the kids. But after putting the kids to bed me and my wife argued and it just completed this stupid day with a bang. Started to just read news and fiddeling on the phone after we had argued. Was tempted to look at some of my girl friends on fb hoping for some nice pics, but stopped as I dont pmo. Dont know what is going on but I have just been pissed off today for no reason. Hope tomorrow will be better.
Angry and frustrated are two moods that, for me, have often triggered me to act out. Many of us have discovered that certain moods -- including being hungry, bored, lonely, tired and sad -- can be times we are tempted to fap. Analyze your experiences. Study what has happened, when, what the circumstances were.
Day 6. Yesterday was better than day 4, and today even better. Feel im back to normal me. On day 4 i was just really pissed. I have noticed something about myself, and that is that when i have some time on my own i find myself having a need to sweep/look through news and whatever, and usually i trick myself into looking more and more towards tempting pics and after some days i have crossed so many barriers that i pmo. I am fully aware of it but still i trick myself to believe it not will happen.. Anyways. Today im sitting on the toilet sweeping news while taking a dump. I come over this story about a stripclub just across the border that will shut down. Thoughts start to spin and I accept to press the link and read the article, even though i know im not interested in the story itself (guess i was hoping for something more visual). Start to read, thoughts spins and i allow myself googeling the name of the club. Not safe. I stopped myself as i promised myself that i dont pmo. However this is typically how it starts. I accept to have a little look. Nothing interesting showed up in the search however my mind were allowed to spin for a little while. I know that this is the turning point and that i cant allow myself to do this again as then i will slowly sink back into the cycle. I dont pmo. I refuse to go back.
