Why I believe hard mode/brahmacharya is the easiest path to avoid PMO relapses

And this is from a single person's perspective.

When I first discovered nofap years ago and attempted the journey, my only intention was to heal my PIED and become more attractive to women.

So subconsciously, I was still seeking to bust nuts, just not through porn and masturbation. Therefore, sex is still a top priority in my mind. It is VERY hard to not masturbate when I am still prioritizing sex. And instead of spending my time and energy building the person I want to become and building a life I want to live, I was seeking women and sex to validate myself.

Sometimes we also need to ask ourselves, are we really that horny or is it the culture we grew up with that told us to put sex on such a high pedestal. Growing up in Los Angeles, I remember I just couldn't wait to lose my virginity, and when I finally lost it, one wasn't enough, and then a few just isn't enough. A lot of these messages came from the music I was listening to and the people I hung around with. I just simply wasn't cool or masculine enough unless I was sexually active. I just wasn't worthy of a person unless a woman wanted to have sex with me. And I am only saying this part, because I know how insane hard mode/brahmacharya can sound for someone who is a virgin or feels undersexed. I'm also not trying to convince that particular group to try brahmacharya. I am just suggesting that our obsession for sex could be culturally conditioned.

Anyway, the point of this post is just to explain why I believe hard mode / brahmacharya is the best path if we want to avoid any relapses. Our intention for doing no-PMO has a huge impact on how well we succeed.

 

If you’re single and new to this and you’re seeking to hook up or you are hooking up with girls, and you resist the chaser effect to PMO, you are indeed a very skillful person. To me that’s a lot more challenging than doing brahmacharya for a set period of time.

 

If you’re doing hard mode, it’s a relapse. If you’re just quitting porn and masturbation, it’s not a relapse.

 

so there’s the basic mode of removing porn/artificial sex stimulus and masturbation/edging for a set amount of time. If you want to have sex with real people during this process, it’s up to you to decide. If you want to add a healthy frequency and method of masturbation back into your life after the time is done, it’s up to you to decide.

there’s hard mode, where you remove porn, masturbation, and any type of sexual activity for a certain amount of time. Most people do this until they find a significant other and just stick to real sex. Or if they already have a partner, they have sex again when the time is done.

 

I think the idea of complete abstinence is scary for a lot of people. Looking back in college. There were full years where that idea scared me and I didn’t get laid, but I just ended up masturbating to porn. If I just did hardmode, I really could have been better off.

I think actually doing hard mode is a lot easier than the story we tell ourselves about it.

 

i experienced something similar, where if I didn’t bust, I just couldn’t concentrate on my studies. I wish I understood what sexual transmutation was at the time. At the time, my understanding was if my balls wasn’t empty, all I could think about was releasing, therefore not busting was a distraction.