First, I understand that 90 days is probably just the starting point for most; as most reboots may take longer but... Nofap is about a radical lifestyle change to better oneself, not just no longer jerking off. So what does it feel like to cross 90 days? 90 days of hitting the weight room, being on a good diet, cold showers every day, reading, and doing other productive stuff. Doing all that stuff for at least 90 straight days (just to get started). Like for example, after 3 months of the above, can one expect to be a lot less “needy” around women? For us in the dating game, do we not really even caring what the outcome of a date is anymore because we are so comfortable in our own shoes now. For example: if she likes me and wants to go out again fine, if not, I don’t give a dam, etc. I’ve heard from other people that after 80-90 days of that radical lifestyle change, that they are just so comfortable in their own skin and just enjoying life day to day now. Anyone have any experience...thanks.
It feels different for everyone. It's not so much about the amount of days but rather what you learned from the experience and what you have achieved. You might as well have 700 days on your counter but if you haven't learned anything nor focused on "making the days count" then all this has been in vain. In case you get it right however it feels amazing, you know it's only the beggining but you know you have overcome a challenge, not only you have reprogrammed your brain and cleansed yourself but also made new healthy habits. Then comes the realization that you are the reason you're doing all this, to get a better lifestyle and have a version of yourself which you can be proud of. Many enter with the idea they will get women and superpowers of the sort, but if you ask me this is really all about bettering yourself.
Good point. It’s about the quality of the days, not the quantity of them. Someone who has 10 days under their belt of nofap can be better off than someone with 30 days of nofap. One day at a time suddenly makes more since now.
Make a proper analysis of what goes wrong everytime. What your triggers are? Do you use your devices often or more than you should? This truly is dependant of the individual situation
I definitely feel greater confidence when talking to women, and even in saying hello as I walk past them. Maybe it's because my mind is not fueled by lustful thoughts but they also seem much more comfortable in my presence. For several years I experienced crippling anxiety when talking to women and that has now gone. These aspects are, among others, where I have noticed the greatest change due to abstinence. 90 days will definitely see improvement but it can take longer to solidify results.
Heh, you should get familiar with the "success stories" section. Personally, the last few weeks of my 93 day reboot attempt were some of the best days of my life. Above all, I felt a strong sense of freedom, like there was a large weight pressing down on me and it was finally lifted. But don't get caught up in other people's romantic stories. Find out for yourself.
I’ve started again I’m on day 2. Yeah I think you might be right in me using my devices to much cause they’re a gateway. I’ve worked out a lot of my triggers. The plan this time is to reduce caffeine intake, exercise, I’m thinking of buying one of those shitty phones that don’t have internet. Out of general interest, if this is to much of a personal question, when does the porn cravings leave? For day 10 is the day I have always failed. Does it get easier at a certain point?
From my experience, the porn cravings can be gone by day 1 if you stop thinking about porn. That simple. You think about porn and you keep it alive in your mind. Stop thinking about it and it goes away.
It may. You see the smartphone isn't so much at fault as it is our poor usage of it. Myself for example use it a lot, mostly for work searching reasons and opportunities, not to mention attending patients. You may need internet at some point so i don't think that solution will work out in the long run, say for example you don't have internet. What will happen when you eventually gain access to it again? Your brain may betray you and there you'll go searching for what you intend to avoid. I would suggest researching about apps which will block your device for a period of time, in this case the times which you know you shouldn't be using your device on. Also ask yourself what you feel when you need the urge to binge? Is it boredom? Maybe anxiety? Maybe depression? You must find the answer to that and take action. And last but not least do not make the mistake many of us make when we start, we obsess so much on "I MUST stop consuming porn" "I MUST stop looking at it" that you miss out on one important thing: Pornography consumption is nothing but the tip of the iceberg, there are other layers underneath which scary as they may be you will need to work on, those being the actual source of the problem. Also, again don't obsess over the amount of days or in the fact that you "MUST" avoid pornography like the plague. If you focus too much on the "erradication" of the problem then you are not going anywhere; instead try building new habits which will replace the ones keeping you locked where you are, healthy ones that is. Just to give you a headsup, they say after 21 times something becomes a habit, don't take it as an absolute truth or as a milestone to reach. The idea is it becomes another part of you, like your arms and legs. Don't allow devices to control you.
Your reply is really reliable. I have tried the idea that to build a new habits. In the first few days , its fine. But as time flows， the urge became strong, it likes a claw caught me, and it took control of my body, I feel my body was buring, sometimes I tried all my best to endure that and I want to use my habit to change it. but keeping the habit made me extremely anxious . its really a tough time. I tried to repeat telling myself the reason I began reboot in my mind. and Meditation. But still, I failed. Could you give me some advice to solute this problem?
Building habits is not easy, especially when you are used to a certain lifestyle. I can understand what you're talking about, i have been there. The same thing does not work for everyone. But just out of simple curiosity. What new habits were you trying to build? Did you actually enjoy said activities? Should you try to make them a habit only to escape pornography consumption then that's where we are in trouble. Have you tried Mindfulness by the way? It's quite effective and helps you to concentrate in the present moment, which is a game changer once you understand it and start getting it right.
YES, if: You have developed your mindset in those 3 months, thought about it and got your ideals defined. If you’ve just somehow managed to not masturbate, and yet kept craving for sex, tried to fantasise, then NO.
I'd put it as simply as this: if you do go this full 90 days, it will be worth it. I don't know how it will affect you personally, and I don't know if you'll even feel like it was worth it for a time, but it will be.
You are right . My first habits I chose to build is pencil sketch. but building this habit takes time. I need to practise basic skills for hours a day to control my pencil. It costed my energy, And it really made me bored. As you said. its a problem. Now I changed my mind. And I am trying meditation. though its not that funny, it can restore my energy. and I hope after my practise, it can help me concentrate to fight against the urge and make me go further this time. Finally, thanks for your advice, it helps.
What kind of meditation do you mean? It's a very broad term with some good and some bad types. Mindfulness meditation, for instance, is probably more harmful than good in this case
I dont understand what you mean. Can you explain it more clearly? and why in this case may it be bad?
Definitely. The issue with mindfulness meditation in particular is that it's an attempt to turn off all filters on your experience. This leaves you wide open to self deception, and rule by the passions/animal instinct instead of reason. That's of course not to mention various malevolent force that might prey upon a wide open mind. Better to go the opposite route and pick a specific important topic upon which to meditate purposefully.
