I've been struggling with porn and masturbation addiction for a while now. I've just made the decidion that I can't do it anymore. I feel tired I feel weak It gets in the way of the meaningful life I want to have. I tried so many times before and I've failed. This hurts me deeply, it makes me think that I will never be free from it. But I also have learned many things about me this past year and I think I really can do it now. For example I've learned that I need help, I'm here for it. I can't do it on my own, and I have no one to talk about. I sat down here and decided to sign in. I hope I can learn and meet a lot of people here and that we can grow together and get rid of the things that hurt us. Thanks for reading it.
I highly recommend to see if there is something like a sexaholics anonymous/sex addicts anonymous group where you live. They can offer you what you're looking for. Of course this forum helps too.
I really feel very embaressd to do this right now, but I will do my research about it. Thank u very much!
This is my first day and everything is okay right now! I am really excited about being part of this community. And excited for being able to talk about this topic that has made me feel shame for so many years. Thanks to everybody!
What environment do you usually relapse in? If I was an admin of the forum, I would require everyone to answer a few introductory questions. What was your PMO frequency pattern - where (i.e. what room), with what device and what times? Do you live alone or with others? Do you have roomates or a private bedroom? We need to diagnose what the environmental triggers are so that you can change your environment for the better. We relapse according to cues in the environment..."I am alone. The door is closed. I will have no interruptions. I have lots of free time. I am bored. Where is my phone/laptop?" etc. We want to regulate our device usage so that we don't easily access them when we are vulnerable and prone to relapsing. Primarily use your electronics while in-public or in the company of others. If you must be alone, turn off and move all of your electronics away. Pick up a book or do something else instead - or go outside. Alone and with internet access is too dangerous in the early days of recovery.
Thank you so much for your insights and your time. I think they are very useful indeed. I have to be especially mindful with being alone in my room, when I am doing something that makes me nervous. Which is going to happen tomorrow, so I'll work somewhere else tomorrow, and as the days stack up I will probably have to change for a longer time. I don't live alone and I will take advantage of that. The things about my relapses is that it did really helped me understand the patterns and when I break a cycle. The device usage might really be a challenge, I love my screens, but you are right about it, I will keep my distance of it, when I am alone and so on. I am really confident this time and everybody's support has really helped me. Thanks again man!
I echo all you said. I managed to continue with a no PMO for 22 days now but failed at day 9 with MO. This will be long and slow process. I’ve learned not to overdrive my headlights because it set me up for failure. I went in confident and perhaps a bit naive. I’m now cautious and I have black eyed intuition about this. It is a war. I don’t miss the porn at all. For some reason I can’t stop pawing myself for more than a couple days. 9 days was a real record for me. We all got damaged very very badly. We all chose it. No one forced us. For many of us we had no idea just how addictive this is and how deep the damage is. I’m pretty sure we can all be free of this. It’ll take more for one than another but we are all in the same place. Glad you are here. My heart breaks for all of us. This problem is so huge you would think it would be on the national news. Or our Pastors would be sounding the alarm by creating accountability groups and breaking down the stigma. Porn should be illegal. Period. You either consume it or you don’t. There’s no half way. Anything else is justification for the addiction or rationalization for the behavior. A day at a time. Small victories. Hold fast.
I never thought that we could get THAT addicted to it. Even sometimes hurting ourselves and all. Porn is really demaging. Thank you so much for interacting and telling a little bit about your story. It helps me a lot, for sure. Much of the process was difficult for me, because I was on my own, now I do feel much happier being part of this forum and talking to you guys. Failing is part of the process, I was able to learn a lot from this and what triggers my behavior and this knowledge will help me for sure, and the knowledge you gather will help you too! Anyway, good luck for us!
They're more likely to be at it than anyone else judging by the frequent tenor of this forum, shame addled and peddling as they are.
In most Asian countries and in the Islamic world, porn is illegal and the websites are strictly blocked. There are many societies which find it to be repulsive, immoral and harmful to developing minds.
The problem here in America is that too many know what their rights are but very few know what their responsibilities are. We put restrictions on things that don’t matter and freely allow distribution of things that are destructive. All in the name of personal freedoms. I gave this country a ton of my life on active duty. For what. We are fattened for the day of slaughter.
When approached most pastors won’t do groups for men. They won’t call people out and they should. It is their business. That is a premise of being a pastor. What’s more is that those who are pastors and leaders in the church must be held to much higher standard and will be judged as such. They run from the suggestion. Many times I thought about traveling to churches and witnessing about my struggle. Men need to see that they are not alone. This is where the healing begins.
