Porn has carved up my Soul!!

Hello Everyone,
This is a great community and I am thankful I could become a part of it. I am currently 22 years old. My addiction or introduction to porn happened when I was in 7th grade i.e 12 years old and it's been 10 years of porn and masturbation. Which is such a pain to my soul.
It all happened with a computer and an internet connection when I was in 6th grade. When I started to get the desktop to my own various sensual thoughts came to my mind. All these were triggered through movies and tv shows where they potray these love acts. The exposure to these content grew upon me and I wanted to see more and feel more. Obviously internet had this all and I knew this. Slowly I started to search for pictures and videos of sensuality. At first, it happened occasionaly and very fast I wanted more of that occasions. At that time I was living in a Gulf country and luckily all the porn sites were banned as per their law.

Now I started frequently searching Youtube and other platforms for more content and you know they only show semi nude videos. I was feeling desperate for more. Till now I didn't know how to maturbate and it was only watching and lusting. Then when I reached the 7th grade there was a friend of mine who was very much into porn and he lead me the way. He taught me how to get nude images from google and that was the first time I saw a nude image of a women. He also taught me how to masturbate and I tried it at home for the first time. That made my life different it got me and up until now it has suffocated me and covered my soul in scars. Each time I masturbated it filled deep shame inside. Somewhere inside I was shouting to myself to stop this.

Eventualy I got into porn and started using VPNs to access porn. Things which felt disgusting and shocking at first are the things which exites me afterwards. It was changing me into an animal. Each year passing and I wanted more vulgar and hardcore contents. That is how porn consumes you and takes control over you.
For me after my 12th grade I understood the depth of the problem and what it can make me in the future. Up until now religion was the only thing that hold me back from anything unlawful and dangerous. Even now it is the sole reason I am being able to control myself.

The effect that porn had on me is very very deep. As I told you I began to watch more and more vulgar and hardcore content by the time of 18 and I was no longer seeing any women. I was gazing and lusting at their flesh. I couldn't see a human being which deserves to be honoured and respected. I wished to have sexual acts with almost every women which attracted me. I was a true animal, a very dangerous one. I feared myself, has sleepless nights and wild dreams. I needed help but I could not approach anyone nor I had the courage to approach anyone. I felt helpess and I turned to my religion started looking for a remedy and hope. Looked both online and offline for a solution. With God's help I was able to find great contents on the issue which motivated me and helped me move to a good path and restructure myself and my thoughts. Slowly and gradually I was making improvements and Yes it was not easy I slipped may times and I haven't completely freed myself from masturbation. But the intervals between started to grow. Biggest achievement I had is that I completely rewired my brain and started to see Women as human beings who deserved respect and honour.

Porn is something that potrays women as mere objects placed for the pleasure of men and they are ready to serve men anytime. They are potrayed as sex hungry and that is the reason I myself started to look at other women with the same intention. It can alter our thoughts and invite disaster to our families and socities.

I am on my journey to free myself from the chains of pornography and I wish all of others who struggle be able to achieve your goals and we have a healthy and pure population.
Thank You.