I need advice about girls

I guess you're a teen like me.
I was about to tell you my story and give you advice from it.
Then I relized that there is no way I can stop you from making a mistake in one way or another in this situation.
You have to find your own way and teach yourself about love. You will get rejected a few times before someone says yes.
Since you are on NoFap: Stay on your path. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. If you get rejected, let go of your attachments, when you have emotionally healed from the pain.
You will learn, you will grow, you will find and love yourself, then someone will love you.

Just live your live the way you want and be patient for love.
After all: "You Can't Hurry Love"

 

Something happened that she doesn't want to tell you about, so you might as well cut off your feelings for her. She probably got a bad vibe from you, OR something happened in her life that makes her not interested in dating anymore. You can never know. I have had extreme affection for girls, and then immediately lost it and cut those women off in the blink of an eye. They didn't do anything wrong, so it might not be your fault that this happened either. You just can't jump to any conclusions.

I just barely glanced at the replies here but I'm assuming many of them are the typical MGTOW shit - "don't take any crap from women, you are worth more than some broad" or some stuff like that. Don't go too heavy on that stuff - yeah, try to be confident in yourself, but respect their experience too. Seriously, women have lives just like you and me - they don't exist just to be someone's wife or girlfriend. So yeah, take it easy and try again with someone else if you feel up to it.

 

I have a very similar view on this issue. I think this is very solid advice.

 

Let's not jump to conclusions. By saying this you are implying that the view you hold is the only valid one and that every guy having success with women will have this view - hold your horses a bit.

You can have strategies when you translate stuff (I'm a translator, so...), you can have strategies how to win something, but not someone. If you have strategies to get women, you treat them all the same - if a woman does X, you do Y. It's dehumanising.

Why do it on a consistent basis? Maybe because such relationships are fleeting? Go out, get her number, get her to bed, maybe have a short relationship with her - what's the point? Except for satisfying your own sexual needs of course (which is kind of similar to PMO, but in the real world).

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm not up to playing any games. Of course at some level I would like to be successful with women and have lots of sex - who wouldn't? The question is, again, what's the point? Having one relationship, then another one, then another etc. The very foundation of this thing is skewed - you want to get better at it. How do you get better at it? By practicing, of course. So you approach a lot of women, ok. What if you succeed and get one to bed? Sooner or later, you go to another one and so on, and so forth. I highly doubt that if there's someone who's so proficient in 'landing' women, he will eventually decide to settle with one - because there's so many hot chicks out there!

Why don't men listen to guys with many years of experience living with one partner, but instead we glorify men who get one women after another?

 

"Success" is a pretty relative term when it comes to women. Some people just want one steady relationship. Other people want to get laid often and make pussies wet everywhere they go.

See, I still have an issue with this. You might not call it a technique or a strategy, but exploiting psychology in order to get sexual rewards seems a little disingenuous. What me and @pavloo91 are saying, if I understand him correctly, is that a man should not have to study psychology in order to receive affection from women. I think pick-up is designed to get as many women's numbers as possible, or dates, or whatever. But I don't think that is every man's goal - most guys just want a girlfriend who cares about them.

@pavloo91 What you said about strategies is very high IQ. Strats are things you use in video games to defeat bosses. But they don't help when you need to respond to each person's individual personality in order to get the kind of feedback you want. I've seen women who were more open and direct about their feelings and I've asked them on dates and gotten good feedback. I've seen other women who were more modest and slow-paced and were offended when I asked them on a date, even though they liked me. You can't just cast a wide net and try to maximize your success rate or whatever. I see dating as very personal and based on the uniqueness of individuals. If you try one approach with a certain woman and it doesn't work, that doesn't mean it was a "bad strategy," and you need to "change your game," it just means they didn't react well for any number of reasons.

Ideally I would only need to do that once. I don't need "any hot girl" - I just need one person. So what's the point of pick-up "game" then, if all you need is one number? It seems that you are prioritizing physical appearance as the primary reason to talk to women. But I think relationships are more substantial than that. Treating women like NPCs who all have the same behavior pattern and trying to capitalize on that is like running a raid and killing a boss in a video game - it's unrealistic, in my view.

 

What struck me now is that such pickup-artist-like ways are just a means of chasing women. Which is funny because every stout 'alpha' male out there will tell you that you cannot chase women. Why, then, spend all that time studying female psychology and learning those techniques? To put it bluntly - to chase women, as simple as that.

Why not study male psychology for a change and learn something about yourself?

 

So how many children have you already conceived?

There you go, I think we know now why you went into pickup/seduction.

This is our instincts talking, which cannot be extinguished - it's true - like I said: at a certain level I would also like to have a lot of sex. However, human beings can rise above pure instinct and this is what makes us so unique.

Men also like to watch porn - are they allowed to do so freely, then?

Sorry for my bluntness, but this is a shallow way of looking at things. How do I know? Because I tried looking at the world this way. At a biological level - yes, we have these objectives and these objectives only. What about spirituality though? Purpose? A man should have a purpose.

I don't think you'll ever be until you try. I think it might be a rationalisation for the unknown.

This sounds like treating girls like things (especially as you listed them next to... things) to be used just for your own benefit.

OP: Sorry for the heated discussion off topic. I hope that you take something out of it though.

 

Sure, you can have your way of thinking, I can have mine. However, I think that you're leaving in kind of a critical moment of the discussion and trying to disguise it as being all positive and devil-may-care 'cause you don't have answers to the questions I asked - I might be wrong, correct me then.

I would understand not wanting to reveal your personal details if you weren't 'undercover' as it were: but this is a place where you can safely do so. Besides I think that the answer to the first question will be "I don't have any", so it'll not be too personal. Again - I would love to hear that I'm wrong.

 

@LordQuas Yeah it sounds like you don't want to be held accountable for your claims, which we've thoroughly scrutinized in this discussion. What you've basically done is say "I have lots of sex, which is my idea of success" and you recommend your methods to other men, when we've already established that pick-up is not ideal for men who want to have monogamous relationships. And then you back out and say "well let's agree to disagree." I'll step out if I need to so @pavloo91 can argue this.

 

Yeah! Girls want boys to take lead. It is very rare that the girl speaks up first(that’s when she really thinks you’re THE ONE). Otherwise it’s a lotta grey area, like Maybe he’s cool, let’s see.

What I have learnt: Girls who act like this are just here for timepass, so even you should be! Otherwise you will continue to be obsessed while she finds someone else to have timepass with.
OR: you work hard, tell her that you really really like her, make her realise how much She means to you and she understands your worth and reciprocates.

Judging by the fact that she asked you to massage her back, she’s clearly scandalous and I guess she receives a lot of attention, due to her looks. So she’s here for timepass?
(It’s just a judgement, please correct me, I most probably have it wrong)

So the question is: What are your Intentions?

 

Lol seriously? I am shocked.

 

I was surprised as well. The world is currently upside down.

 

Well, it's not that simple. There has been some scrutiny here, but I wouldn't call it thorough by any means.

You have a style of writing that's a bit... misleading. "No bad feelings", "no pointing fingers" etc. - yet in your answers you're implying otherwise. At the same time, the way you structure your replies allows you to say that you didn't do anything to rub someone the wrong way. I'm not going to argue this here because this is not the point of this thread. We can move this discussion somewhere else if you want.

It's true, I've been a little offensive. It might be because I have to admit that I am jealous (as you implied), but at the same time this way of living seems just... wrong. I cannot put a finger on it yet, but something tells me that there's something wrong with it - but I think sooner or later I will know why is that.

You said that we are programmed to reproduce. That's right. To reproduce, not to have sex - sex is just a means to an end regarding reproduction. Even though you can fool your brain that you're reproducing, you're still not reproducing, so...

Such topics are interesting to unpack, but as I said not here - I'm already starting to feel like an intruder in this thread.

 

Yeah I don't mean to sound like I'm promoting monogamy. I just don't want people to get the idea that polygamy and relationships for pleasure alone are the definition of success, or that these are goals shared by every man.