Hi all, Been pmoing since I was about 14 or 15 regularly. I discovered nofap when I was 19 when a girl game onto me and I didn't jump at the opportunity. I figured something was wrong. Initially, I started nofap and it was easy. I smashed 45 days no pmo, but came back as I thought it wouldn't hurt. This strengthened the neural pathways. Rinse and repeat. Here we are 2-3 years later, and although I don't pmo daily anymore (more like 1-2 times a week) I still can't just drop it. The reason for this I believe is due to 3 things. 1. I feel like I have read, seen and watched every piece of advice out there, but yet I still pmo. 2. I think that if I can get a girlfriend or regular sex life, I won't need PMO. but I don't approach girls because I am concerned that I might have PIED, or have serious performance anxiety 3. The rest of my life is going well. My job, my exercise, sleep etc is all great. It feels like it isn't doing me much damage, and sometimes i convince myself it isn't an addiction. On the other hand I am acutely aware of the fact that, if I don't get this sorted, I may well end up alone forever. When I stop I get a gradual build up of withdrawals and urges, and eventually break because I just can't be dealing with more nonsense like that after all the mental effort I've been putting in all week at work etc. I know I am addicted because I want to see the porn, not just want a release. I think people who have quit have successfully quit as they either have a shock moment of realisation (which I haven't had) or have replaced it. I do so much stuff but still have those weak moments where I'm doing nothing and that's when I PMO. Anyone else feel like this? Like they've read everything but when push comes to shove you just don't have that willpower available? What will get me to stop for good? Thanks
I actually feel like I stopped pursuing women completely in real life once I understood the science surrounding PIED. A bit ironic I think, that understanding the science around all of this actually pushed me further away from real women. It confirmed I 100% had something very wrong with my sexual functioning. Where before I wasn't sure if I had something wrong or not, so I did still pursue real women. For me I think a big problem is I am putting my life on pause because I think I can't move forward until I 100% succeed at nofap and pornfree. I am starting to think this is a mistake. I feel like you should still live your life the same, still pursue women, but also try at nofap and pornfree. I suffer with quite severe ocd and obsessions, and being this obsessed about all of this stuff is really beggining to affect my mental health in a bad way. It's making me think it's not worth it a lot of the time. I honestly dont feel like a lot of the stuff I sometimes read from other guys on here helps me. It comes across like the way they see it is this is the most imprtant thing in your life, nofap and pornfree. I don't want nofap and pornfree to be the most important thing in my life. I don't want to be obsessing about this stuff 24/7. I actually do better at staying away from porn when I do it my way. Ironically when I read some of the extreme opinions and advice from some guys on here this actually causes me to feel very overwhelmed and very low, which actually causes me worse relapse and binges. It can put me in to a mindset where I think there is no point in trying. I was actually considering deleting my account on here and just trying to stop porn my own way. But the worry with that is I don't want to become too relaxed either, and forget how harmful porn can be and end up relapsing all the time again.
I related to your 2. reason - it's depressing. I feel like I'm missing out meeting real women because of this possibility of PIED/performance anxiety. I am on my best streak so far with the help of porn blockers and removing all social media. Good luck.
