89. Yeah it's an addiction. Not horny at all yet there's a huge urge to fap and watch porn for no reason whatsoever. Scary..
87. Urge depleted a lot ) also found myself getting in the habit of living a fapless life as well as a better one to the people i care abt. Seriously, not like i haven't notice them b4 but now not fapping just makes me somewhat more sensitive to other people's feelings. Neat :3
86. Super horny. Pulled my pants down and almost rubbing my dick against the bed sheet till i realize that counts as masturbating. All time low =.= never again yes?
My pleasure. There is always an opportunity to get to 'know' each other. I see that you are struggling with urges. Try to increase your awareness of sense-pleasures. It might help prevent a break, because otherwise when you become aware of your mistakes, it might already be too late. You have to 'control' (i.e. be aware) of all the senses, including thought. It is through these that information passes that might build up to a strong urge. If you become aware of it before it becomes a strong urge, you can do something about it, or at least already anticipate on it, and think about what counter-measures you are going to take. I usually do some breathing exercises when I notice too many 'wrong currents,' or even just a single such current, of information passing through my senses. We achieve 'pleasure' through our senses, and that is the cause of bondage. To break free from the cycle of pleasure, we have to increase our awareness of the senses, meditate on them, and anticipate on the bad omens we notice. We know that certain 'observations' that pass through our senses lead to pleasure. We just have to learn to intercept those that lead to breaks in celibacy. We have to cultivate a feeling for this, so to speak. Being aware of what is coming is sometimes not enough to prevent a break, but it is at least better than having no knowledge at all of what is coming. It must not seem as though these urges come out of nowhere; usually one or two sensual observations precede them.
Try to figure out the trigger. It might seem that it comes out of nowhere, but urges do usually not stand alone. With what are these urges associated? Did you see a certain room or object, did you perform a habit, or did you think a certain thought? It is important to figure this out to prevent a break.
